06/11/2020
The Minute that changed my life
Part 2
And in modern life, there are now all sorts of additional duties that the world expects women to also be able to excel at. Since we are often our own worst judges, the result can be that sadly we never feel entirely happy. We can end up always feeling tired or low on energy and sometimes this can lead to depression or other mental health issues such as anxiety. We can end up asking ourselves, ‘Why I am not happy if I have a beautiful daughter or the best partner in the world’. ‘Why am I still not happy if I have my ideal job or the house of my dreams?’ Of course, we want to understand how or why this can be the case.
Since we are always trying to meet others’ expectations, we hardly ever stop to ask to our-self, ‘What makes me happy?’ Everyone you meet always asks if you have a career, are married, or own a house as if life was some kind of grocery list – but no one ever asks you if you are happy! We are too busy trying to be the perfect role-model that often we do not even allow ourselves to feel tired, to have a proper rest or to say ‘I can’t cope with all of this.’ We also find it very hard to let things go or to put our trust in other people to be able help us, as we think we should be able to manage on our own. Women don’t like to say, ‘I can't do all of this,’ because we see it as a weakness and a personal failure, due to modern society’s immense pressure to achieve perfection in every area of our lives.
When I went back to work after my maternity leave, I felt that I could not even do my job properly, because I wasn’t sleeping very well. I needed to travel up to London every day and still have the energy to be a great mum whilst also being successful at work. I felt so guilty every morning that I was leaving my baby behind at home; but even more guilty when I was feeling so happy and good to be at work, enjoying myself without the constant noise of a crying baby in the background.
Fortunately, more experiences were to follow which helped me to realize or question what I would really like to do about my life to find balance and harmony....
