19/04/2026
What changed my life wasn't a glow up. It was a reality check.
I grew up the mixed-race girl in a white town. Racial slurs slung from across the street. Never quite belonging anywhere. I learned early that something about me was wrong.
That belief ran my life for the next two decades.
The father wound did what abandonment wounds do. I spent years running from that pain. Drugs, alcohol, s*x, anything to numb what I wasn't ready to face. Still showing up as the reliable one, the fixer, the one everyone leaned on. Self-worth on the floor. Shrinking to fit.
At 25 I entered a relationship I already knew wasn't right. I married him at 32 anyway. Same wound. Different shape. My inner voice was screaming. I just kept turning the volume down.
I left the marriage. Walked straight into another relationship. Controlling, suffocating. Different shape. Same root.
So attached to the empath role that I was abandoning myself daily. Tolerating being his emotional punching bag because some part of me had decided that's what I was worth.
One day something in me stopped negotiating with reality.
I ended it. The very next day I walked into a women's healing circle and felt something activate that I'd spent years shutting down.
Then I spent years doing everything to heal— plant medicines, Reiki, somatics, retreats, ceremony after ceremony. Grateful for all of it.
But I was still looking for something to fix.
Until I got really fu***ng honest.
The kind where you look directly at what you've been avoiding and admit you were the one tolerating it ALL. Creating your own heartbreak. Choosing it, recreating it. Because it was familiar.
That was the turning point. Not a modality, not a ceremony. Radical honesty. Radical responsibility.
That's what I do now.
I see the invisible thread connecting all of it. The beliefs creating your reality, the identity you're still loyal to that no longer fits, the roles you've never questioned.
What you're looking for isn't somewhere else, it's on the other side of what you haven't yet faced or can't see clearly.
Once you see it, honouring yourself is no longer optional.
Comment MIRROR if you're ready to see what's been holding you back.