Chris Calder Therapy

27/11/2025

Labels feel safe because they give us certainty. They tell us who we are and where we fit. But they also box us in, shaping how we behave and limiting what we experience. Who gave you your label? Is it helping—or holding you back?

26/11/2025

The stories we tell ourselves shape the world we see. If we believe the world is negative, every flaw stands out. But when we choose a positive lens, the good reveals itself everywhere. Reality isn’t fixed—it’s filtered through our own minds.

25/11/2025

When we’re wrestling with our own struggles, it’s easy to forget others are doing the same. If you’re trying to go sober and someone asks a clumsy question, that’s okay. You don’t have to be perfect—and neither do they. Sometimes, cutting people some slack feels better than carrying the weight of correcting them. Grace goes both ways.

23/11/2025

22/11/2025

Our interactions are interconnected. The way we approach someone shapes the response we get. The Parent–Adult–Child model explains these dynamics: sometimes we lecture, sometimes we rebel, sometimes we reason. Which voice do you use most—and how does it change the conversation?

21/11/2025

Our core beliefs are the roots of both distress and happiness. Ask yourself: What do I believe about myself? Where did it come from? When did it start? If your beliefs help you thrive, celebrate them. If they judge you harshly, maybe it’s time to let them go.

20/11/2025

We all carry a default story about who we are. Sometimes it keeps us safe, sometimes it keeps us stuck. The good news? Stories can be rewritten. What story do you want to leave behind—and what new one are you ready to write?

14/11/2025

Therapy with me? Safe. Confidential. But mostly—just a good conversation.

I’m usually in shorts and a black heavy metal tee, probably telling you about my dog, my cats, and some of the wild s**t I’ve lived through. You can share as much or as little as you want.

We’ll keep it at a pace that feels right for you. You’ll probably laugh more than cry. Fair chance we’ll do both.

It’s not all deep dives into childhood trauma—sometimes it’s just figuring out what’s next, or breaking a habit that’s been hanging around too long.

Informal. Supportive. No pressure. Just a space that’s yours.

11/11/2025

Behind every man battling addiction or depression, there’s often a family member quietly carrying the weight.

If you’re the one holding it together—checking in, covering shifts, calming storms—you deserve space to speak too. Your pain counts. Your story matters. Don’t wait your turn to talk about how this affects you.

10/11/2025

When you're sober, the past doesn't just replay—it interrogates you.

Would you change it, given the chance? Do you appreciate the chaos for shaping who you are now? Does the insight you gained outweigh the hurt you caused?

Sobriety brings clarity, but clarity isn't always kind. You see the patterns. The damage. The moments you can't undo. And yeah, you grow. You help others. You turn pain into purpose.

But if I'm being honest—I'd trade the wisdom for the years. I'd trade the insight for time I can't get back. Because healing doesn't mean forgetting what it cost.

07/11/2025

Weekend binging. 2 cans on a school night. One feels wild, the other feels routine. But when does it become a problem?

There’s no single line in the sand. What’s manageable for one man might be draining for another. It’s not about labels—it’s about impact.

You don’t need to hit rock bottom to start asking questions. If you’ve started wondering whether your drinking is helping or hurting, that’s reason enough to talk it through.

Counselling isn’t about forcing change. It’s about finding your change—on your terms. We don’t just help men stop everything. We help you figure out what’s worth keeping, and what’s worth letting go.

05/11/2025

I've noticed a few people recently talking about reintroducing alcohol after an extended period of sobriety - Rage bait to some sobriety advocates, and a balanced viewpoint to others.

Sobriety is all about tempering the extremes, and some would consider full abstinence to be an extreme.

Personally I find this type of provocative question reaffirming.

My own gut reaction is a categorical F*CK THAT!

What's yours?