23/11/2025
Sometimes the hardest part of healing from past abuse isn’t the memory itself — it’s the old narrative that comes with it. Those messages that were handed to us like “truth,” when really they were just someone else’s damage, projected onto us.
Have you tried practicing something different: answering back.
Not arguing, not spiraling, not trying to debate the past — just responding with clarity, like you would when someone keeps trying to hand you a package that doesn’t belong to you.
Because those old lines?
They’re echoes, not facts.
When a thought pops up like, “You’re too much,” or “You’re not enough,” or the classic, “Everything is your fault,”
Start by saying:
“Ah. That’s the past talking. Not reality.”
It’s incredible how much power drains out of a belief once you name where it came from.
And instead of trying to overwrite them with corny affirmations that feel fake, replace them with things that are simply truer than the abuse ever was:
Old story: “You’re always the problem.”
New response: “I’m human. I can make mistakes, but I’m not a problem. I’m a person.”
Old story: “You don’t matter.”
New response: “Actually, I matter more than that person ever allowed me to.”
Old story: “You deserved what happened.”
New response: “Nobody deserves that. Ever. Full stop.”
Old story: “No one will believe you.”
New response: “People do — and I believe myself now.”
Start borrowing the same voice you use with people you care about. Think If I can speak gently and firmly with others, I can do it with myself.
Tell that scared part of you: “That story isn’t ours anymore.”
And honestly? A little humor helps too. When that old abusive script barges in “Wow, bold of you to show up uninvited.” It’s amazing how quickly humor takes the sting out of something that used to knock the wind out of you.
At the end of the day, this isn’t about fixing the past.
It’s about deciding how much space the past gets in the life you’re building now.
keep reminding yourself:
“I’m moving forward. The past can watch, but it doesn’t get to drive.”
If you’re unlearning old narratives too, I’m right there with you. And there’s nothing wrong with answering back. Sometimes it’s the very first sign that your voice — your real voice — is finally coming through.
It takes time, energy and it’s hella exhausting
Practice and patience and hold on to your “Why”
Your why is you
Because you always have been worth it
you ARE enough
and did not deserve any of the things that happened to you…
no matter WHAT that voice is telling you
Colette 🩵
