http://www.carolinetoshackcounselling.com/

Caroline Toshack - Supporting Minds & Bodies, Louis Braille Way, Gorebridge (2026)

04/12/2025

Been pondering BOUNDARIES….. 🤔

Especially with December upon us and demands and expectations from others are often not necessarily what we want for ourselves.

It’s a subject that comes up often in the therapy room. And it’s also one of the first things introduced in therapy as a therapeutic contract is set.

Honestly, I think boundaries are one of these things that many feel they SHOULD be good at, or better at. And it’s often at the most overwhelmed or depleted that people crave or seek better boundaries.

In these moments though we learn that are boundaries are not necessarily where or what we’d like them to be. So that’s ok. It’s information.

Maybe it’s when we bow we’re going to do things differently or say no when we need to or quite simply ‘stop putting up with sh*te’ 💩🤷‍♀️

And then maybe we feel better, we let them slip, we fall back into people pleasing, rescuing, being the one that is always there for others putting our own needs to the back. Maybe we’re the one that thinks it’s selfish or rude or will let others down if we say no, so we carry on saying yes.
And the cycle continues.

Yes, boundary work can be hard. But it’s small steps… finding the easiest place to lay down a new boundary, starting with ‘safer’ people and situations.
And also, my god, do boundaries make a difference.

A therapist of mine once told me that having boundaries is actually kind to everyone. Yes, some may not like them, but there’s a clarity in that and we’re giving them an opportunity to meet us, know us, in a healthy mutual relationship. It’s actually an opportunity for them to know us and for us to know them when we connect with our boundaries known and acknowledged.

And with all that said…. (Coz I could go in and on….)…. Small baby steps, it DOES get easier 🥰😚😚

20/11/2025

“Just be yourself…….”

It sounds simple, doesn’t it? But for many (maybe most?) neurodivergent people, it’s not. Life has been about putting on a front—hiding parts of self in order to fit in, stay safe, or avoid judgment.

It becomes “normal,” and after years of doing that, figuring out who “yourself” is can feel confusing, scary, and vulnerable.

What is who you actually are?
And what is how you have been in order to fit in?

And that’s also not black and white…. There is overlap and nuance.

After discovering their neurodivergence, many of my clients feel an extra pressure: “Now I should be more myself. I should unmask fully.”

And yet, when they try, it often brings up anxiety, self-doubt, and that old feeling of “not good enough.”

They might feel exposed after showing even a little more of who they really are, and sometimes they get frustrated with themselves for still holding back.

That’s okay. Feeling vulnerable, uncertain, or self-critical is normal. It’s not a sign of failure—it’s a sign of doing something new, something brave, and something meaningful.

There is no timeline.
There is no endpoint.
You get to go at our own pace, in your own way.
You get to discover yourself safely, steadily, and on your own terms.

Unmasking isn’t about being perfect. It’s about learning to trust yourself, recognise your needs, express in ways that make sense to you. It’s also about recognising where and when you don’t feel safe to be yourself and honouring that too.

Every step in ‘learning to be you’ whether neurodivergent or not, is valid and important.💕💕

14/11/2025

I’m already feeling the busying up, quickening and a pull of momentum towards Christmas!

Every December I yearn for a pause in amongst it all, so I’ve been ahead of myself this year and created it! I’ve popped it into the middle point of the month and the middle point of the week for all of us who need that space to pause in amongstit all.

The Pause is exactly what it says it is:
- an invitation to stop, to breathe, to wind down the ‘doing’, soften effort and to settle into being.

It’s an hour of gentle yin-inspired shapes and slow transitions, as we settle into the quieter layers of the body. It’s not an absence of movement, but its softest, most subtle form— the breath, the sensations, the tiny internal shifts that continue even when we appear still.

This isn’t about productivity or progress. It’s an hour to land, to listen inward, and to reconnect with yourself.

• Restorative, yin-inspired movement and breath
• Space for reflection, stillness, and reset
• A gentle practice to look after you and your needs

No yoga, yin yoga or movement experience is needed — just yourself, a blanket or two, and permission to slow right down.

DECEMBER 10th
8-9pm
Online

🔗 booking link in comments

11/11/2025

The Christmas season can be joyful AND it can also be really overwhelming!

A challenging relationship with food or your body can feel even harder this time of year:

🔹 Food is everywhere
🔹 Life gets busier and more stressful
🔹 Emotions can be stirred up that aren’t so present the rest of the year
🔹Family… (enough said!)

It can be exhausting trying to navigate it all, and it’s really common to turn to, or away from, food to cope. It’s so understandable that we can feel more vulnerable about how our body looks, or how we feel in it.

And then, what I see — and have experienced myself — is feeling guilty about it all.

That’s why I’m running this workshop - Your Body, Food and the Festive Season — to help you pause, reconnect, and find some calm. And to help you gently navigate some of the pressures and your responses.

In this space, we’ll explore:

🔸 Common food, body and festive triggers
🔸 Practical ways to navigate food and body pressures without judgment
🔸 Short somatic exercises to help you feel grounded and present
🔸 Personal reflection and optional group discussion.

The session is for anyone who finds this time of year more complicated when it comes to food and how they feel about their body - and wants to explore a calmer more trusting relationship with food and their body.

🗓️ Wednesday 4th December · 7–8:30pm (UK time)
💻 Online via Zoom
💰 Sliding scale £5 / £7.50 / £10

(I would like to make this as accessible as possible so please do email me to attend for free if price is a barrier to attending - no questions asked)

You’re so welcome to join, exactly as you are, if this speaks to you
Link in comments or DM me to book.

10/11/2025

Coming out of our comfort zone can be where we experience growth. But too much, or too soon, could mean fear or panic (and retreating back to our comfort zone).

When we stretch ourselves just enough — trying something new, taking a gentle risk, or sitting with some discomfort — we move into the growth zone. That’s where learning, confidence and resilience begin to expand.

That’s where our sustainable capacity can expand.
(Note the word sustainable!)

But if we push too far, too fast, we can slip into the fear or panic zone, which is where things start to feel overwhelming or unsafe. When that happens, our nervous system often pulls us back to the comfort zone for protection.

That’s okay because that’s our body doing its job. But when we don’t know that this is what’s happening it can feel like failure, or trigger ‘not good enough’ comparisons and beliefs.

For many neurodivergent people, this balance is especially important. Growth isn’t about forcing or “pushing through.” It’s about noticing what’s sustainable, building safety, and expanding capacity at your own pace.

And for people in recovery (of any kind!) this is also important to be aware of. It’s going to be uncomfortable, changing patterns is uncomfortable - but it will get easier if we go step by step.

We all have different-sized comfort, growth and fear zones — and that’s completely okay. It’s about finding ‘uncomfortably comfortable’ or ‘comfortably uncomfortable’. It DOES need to feel uncomfortable but we don’t want it to feel fearful.

For one person, stepping into the growth zone might look like wearing clothes they’ve not felt confident to wear before.

For someone else, it might be making a phone call, trying a new food, or routine, stating what they need, saying no or having a difficult conversation.

What matters isn’t how far you move — it’s that you’re moving at a pace that feels sustainable and supportive for your nervous system.

Growth isn’t a competition. It’s deeply personal.

It’s also worth saying that growth doesn’t have to happen along. The presence of support can be the difference between something feeling like a stretch compared to fearful. 💕💕

07/11/2025

I thought I’d start each month with a wee note about what’s ahead in the next 4ish weeks.

It let’s you know what’s coming up AND it keeps me accountable and on track!!
(I’m always full of ideas, not always putting the action I want to behind them!! 😂)

🌀MOVEMENT & MEANING:
This month is the final session in the Autumn Arc.
Theme is INITIATION and we’ll be exploring where movement (and action) begins
Thursday 20th 5:30 - 6:30pm
Online

✏️ Over on Substack I’ll start exploring and musing about GROUNDING

🌙 THE PAUSE:
Between the Autumn and Winter Movement & Meaning arcs we’re taking a pause - literally.
I’m running a yin inspired online session on December 10th
Booking opens later this month.

💕 FOOD, BODY & THE FESTIVE SEASON:
December can be such a difficult month to navigate though pressures around food, bodies and expectations.
So I’ll be running this session as a space to pause and explore these challenges and help you build awareness, self compassion and confidence around them.
Early December midweek evening and online.

🙋‍♀️I’d also love to host an in-person one in Midlothian or East Lothian is there’s enough interest - DM me if interested.

👥 Finally…. I have one opening for 1:1 therapy on a Tuesday afternoon. For someone liking to improve their relationship with their body / food, or self esteem, or navigate late diagnosed neurodivergence.

📧 DM me if you’d like to be added to my mailing list to get info on these sessions in your email inbox, or have questions about any of them.

🔗 Link in bio for Movement & Meaning

06/11/2025

I hear it so many times: “I’ve gone backwards.”

Often it comes with feelings of failure or disappointment — and sometimes a sense of shame. Sometimes the person feels that they’ve let me down (FYI - they’ve not)

Because in reality, this is all part of the process and can actually be a point for growth.

When we feel stretched, overwhelmed, or hit a hard place, our brain and body reach for what’s familiar. They remember old ways of coping and return these because new ones for this particular challenge aren’t quite built in yet.

That’s not weakness — it’s protection.

These are exactly the moments where we can find more clarity, understanding, and insight. We start to see where the old pattern shows up again and can understand it in a new, deeper way.

It’s a time to lean in with compassion.

Because when we skim over this pattern that’s showing up again, bury it away, or avoid acknowledging it, we miss the opportunity for new pathways and new ways of coping to be created.

These new ways often come from slowing down — not pushing through. From noticing - not judging. From acknowledging emotions and asking for help. From focusing on what truly supports our health and wellbeing.

This is where self-compassion matters most.

When we can recognise what’s happening without shame, we open the door to learning, healing, and trying again.

None of us are meant to get this “perfect.”
We all have moments when old patterns resurface —
and each time, we get the chance to meet ourselves differently.

We’re all just human and doing our best. 💕

We haven’t gone backwards. 🌱

We’re learning, adjusting, and continuing forward —
with a little more awareness each time. 🌿

30/10/2025

Lately I’ve been thinking about how often we misunderstand what “coping” really looks like…

I see this a lot in the therapy room — people telling me they’re “not coping,” because they’re crying a lot or not able to do something without help.

Or during recovery when people feel that they’re ‘not coping’ because they’re not able to apply some strategy that they’ve been told would be helpful.

When actually… they’re coping far better than they realise.

Often what they mean is,
“I’m not coping the way I think I should be.”

There’s so much pressure to stay positive, keep it together, and manage things on our own.
And when we can’t, it’s easy to believe we’re failing.

But coping doesn’t always look calm or confident.
Sometimes it looks messy — asking for reassurance, crying, saying “I’m not okay,” or just doing what it takes to get through the day.

And that’s still coping.
That’s still progress.

Because coping isn’t about having it all under control.
it’s about allowing support, being real,
and finding ways to keep going, together.

Being honest, I used to think that as a therapist I wasn’t ’doing it right’ if I wasn’t offering some way to help the person cope. Because that’s what I’d also been taught….!

What I’ve learnt is that being there to listen, to allow the feelings in, to get it, and to say ‘yup, that must feel really sh*t’ or ‘no wonder you don’t have the energy to do more’ is at times actually FAR more helpful!

It doesn’t mean that there ISN’T a time for strategies or for action, but we’ve got to recognise that we’re not mean to always DO things to grow.

BEING, FEELING, SHARING when it feels messy and like its all going t**s up - that can be huge growth and a space for progress.

Because it’s accepting of our human-ness and wholeness. And it’s human to human connection - which is what we’re innately programmed to need.

Let’s stop measuring coping
by how positive or independent someone seems.
Let’s measure it by connection, honesty, and care.

What would it be like if we all gave ourselves permission to cope in ways that are a little more human?

I’d love to know your thoughts…..

10/10/2025

It’s October and the theme for the third Movement & Meaning session is:

🌀 STABILITY

📍 Live online: Thursday 16th at 5:30pm (or get the recording)

Stability is about steadiness in motion — finding balance when life shifts, changes, or pulls you in different directions.

🪵 Where do you feel steady in your body and mind?

🪵 What helps you stay anchored when things move around you?

🪵 How can your body guide you toward resilience and calm?

Through gentle guided movement, breath, and awareness, we’ll explore physical stability — your legs, core, and posture — and notice how that relates to emotional steadiness.

We’ll play with balance, gentle shifts, and returning to your centre when the world (or your body) moves.

This is not about standing perfectly still or holding poses — it’s about noticing what supports you and discovering a sense of grounded confidence.

No experience in yoga, Pilates, or movement practices is needed — just yourself, curiosity, and comfy clothes.

Join live or get the recording for £10

🔗 Booking link: https://bookwhen.com/carolinetoshack
✉️ DM me with any questions

20/09/2025

A couple of years ago I ran a series of 3 sessions over winter called Wintering Well.

I loved running them and got great feedback from those who attended. I’ve been wanting to expand that theme since, offering space to pause, reflect and reconnect that runs in line with where we are seasonally.

Here it is!
THE SEASONAL SESSIONS
And they start next month!

To start us off I’m holding a workshop the day before the clocks go back as a pause to mark the shift into longer evenings.

🍁 The Seasonal Session October: Clocks go Back

The turning of the clocks can feel small, but it often has a real effect on our bodies and moods. Shorter days and darker evenings can bring tiredness, low energy, and a dip in outlook. When we notice this, and prepare for it, we can soften the impact — making small, conscious choices that support us. Choosing light when we can. Getting outdoors in the mornings. Creating small rituals that lift and sustain us through the darker months.

This workshop is a chance to do just that: to take time before the shift happens, to pause, and to tend to yourself.

Over 90 minutes together we’ll:
🍂 Practical wellbeing tips to adjust to the clock change
🍂 Gentle yoga and movemnt to ease body and mind
🍂 Seasonal reflective prompts to reflect on, and prepare for, the shift into wintertime

Think of it as a seasonal reset — not about doing more, but about finding steadiness and making space for yourself before winter arrives.

📅 Saturday 25 October
🕝 2:30–4:00pm
📍 Balanced Fitness, Penicuik EH26 8 HR
💸 £20

Booking link in bio

20/09/2025

Hiya 👋

Have had a wee change of page name on here to make it a bit more reflective of what I do.

Have felt for ages that this page has been neither one thing or the other. It’s not really representative of my counselling work, and not really showing the things that I also do outside of those individual sessions - like group sessions, or therapist CPD training.

Plus I’ve been guilty of doing something that is the very thing I don’t like and don’t advocate for - I’ve been trying to wrench myself into some kind of box that makes it easy for people to understand what I do! 🙄🙄

No wonder I’ve not really wanted to come on and share anything!!!

So, now I’ve got over caring if what I do is understandable or fits together neatly, and I’m just getting on with things instead…. Which meant that ‘Supporting Minds & Bodies’ felt far more ‘me’.

It’s what I do.

In counselling I’m not just supporting minds, but I’m aware that we are human bodies with feelings and physical responses. I’m never just a ‘talking’ counsellor - but someone who works with the whole person and recognising what isn’t, or can’t be, said.

I’m still a movement therapist - even if I don’t ‘teach’ specific movement practices anymore. Or at least not on a regular basis. It’s threaded through everything that I do because movement is a language of it’s own and a connective practice. It lets us connect with ourselves, others and the environment around us.

And in addition to individual work I’m also starting to run group workshops again - in-person and online. These fuse movement, mental health and wellbeing practices and brings people together in community.

I have a whole host of group work in the pipeline. Some, already on the go:
Movement & Meaning runs online once a month.
And I’m getting ready to tell you about some in-person workshops in Midlothian: The Seasonal Sessions.

So lots happening - all about supporting minds and bodies.

Looking forward to telling you more on here 😁

Caroline Toshack - Supporting Minds & Bodies

04/12/2025

20/11/2025

14/11/2025

11/11/2025

10/11/2025

07/11/2025

06/11/2025

30/10/2025

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20/09/2025

20/09/2025

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