https://www.greymatterstherapy.com/

The Grey Matters, Greenwich (2025)

30/10/2021

Do you have fuzzy memories you cannot make sense of? Are you triggered by certain sounds, facial expressions, smells or sights and you have no idea why? Do you feel overwhelmed or freaked out? Trauma memories are often implicit because trauma floods the brain with the stress hormone cortisol, which shuts down the part that encodes memories and makes them explicit. Implicit memories can be quite frightening as they make no sense.

Implicit memory relies on structures in your brain that are fully developed before you are born. Because it’s an unconscious, bodily memory, when it gets triggered in the present, it does not seem like it’s coming from the past. It feels like it’s happening NOW. You may feel hijacked.

An implicit memory does not involve the internal experience of recalling. It is often felt in the body. An example of implicit memory is jumping on a bike and instinctively remembering how to cycle, whereas an explicit memory would be the recollection of the person teaching you how to ride a bike.

Implicit memories are often triggered subconsciously and cause reactions you can't make sense of. For example, waking up after a relationship breakup can trigger the loneliness a person felt waking up alone as a child. Seeing a certain fabric pattern can remind a person of a room in which they were abused as a child, leaving them feeling frightened without knowing why.

The emotions that pop up are actually implicit memories of the person’s own childhood experience. And the intensity of the reaction is based on the severity of distress of the original situation.

For instance, if you felt abandoned as a child, you may experience a very intense feeling of being abandoned after a breakup. A parent who felt petrified as a baby may become dysregulated and overwhelmed when their own baby cries.

I work with my clients to make sense of and process implicit memories so they are no longer triggered or feeling overwhelmed. DM me for more info.

31/03/2021

‘Fcuk no’ is easier to teach than ‘NO’. It is true. I found this out in my trauma work: I help people to rethink and reinforce their boundaries. Boundaries create healthy relationships, increase self-esteem and reduce stress, anxiety and depression. They make you a lot HAPPIER and healthier.

I swiftly found out that people, especially women struggle to say the word ‘NO’. It was a feeble, teeny tiny, little no, followed by a ‘because’. There was no power or energy behind it. Let alone be taken seriously. I had to find a way to get around that. By accident I discovered the cure. One of the baby steps was ‘fcuk no’. The reason is THAT is a complete sentence. There is no ‘because’. It is NOTICED.

By working with me, you can say ‘NO’ with confidence and without feeling guilty about it.

It can be hard to say ‘NO’ with conviction, confidence and NOT feel guilty about it. Many of my private clients come to me to build and reinforce their boundaries. Feel free to DM or email me if this is something you also need help with, and we can explore the options available to you.

28/02/2021

Have my posts resonated with you? You want to overcome whatever is haunting you but you work throughout the week? A RARE Saturday morning spot has opened. Either via Zoom or in person. It won't be there for long.

This is what my clients say about me: "I was worried my trauma wasn’t ‘traumatic enough’ and that my memories were unclear. Venka made me feel at ease about the process and we worked through my memories using her adapted EMDR approach. It was far less terrifying than I thought!

My symptoms have all but disappeared! I feel grounded, more optimistic and less afraid. I am more present in my daily life and less reactive.

For months I’d lost my energy and my ‘get up and go’, but it’s all come flooding back! My husband was so happy that I had my smile back.

Working with Venka has been life-changing.

I love her no-nonsense approach, her epic toolbox of therapy treatments and her unique ability to validate how you’re feeling and help you move past it."

If you'd like to overcome your past traumas, DM me, we'll have a chat to determine your suitability for my methods.

27/02/2021

A recent client came to me for help with trauma.

Her symptoms included being restless and hyper-vigilant, exercising and drinking too much. She suffered from nightmares, sleepwalking and sleep paralysis, and eventually became lethargic and ill with sore throats.

Here’s what she said: "I was worried my trauma wasn’t ‘traumatic enough’ and that my memories were unclear. Venka made me feel at ease about the process and we worked through my memories using her adapted EMDR approach. It was far less terrifying than I thought!

My symptoms have all but disappeared! I feel grounded, more optimistic and less afraid. I am more present in my daily life and less reactive.

For months I’d lost my energy and my ‘get up and go’, but it’s all come flooding back! My husband was so happy that I had my smile back. He was also happy that Venka included him by giving him some tips to help me out if I became dysregulated.

Working with Venka has been life-changing.

I love her no-nonsense approach, her epic toolbox of therapy treatments and her unique ability to validate how you’re feeling and help you move past it."

If you'd like to overcome your past traumas, DM me, we'll have a chat to determine your suitability for my methods.

24/02/2021

PTSD and CPTSD: the difference. CPTSD is not that widely known, but is now gaining recognition amongst professionals. It is also known as Complex PTSD or complex trauma.
CPTSD is similar to PTSD yet different at the same time. With CPTSD, you would have been suffering from related trauma for months or years, rather than a single event.

So someone who was abused as a child repeatedly can suffer from CPTSD. They may feel traumatised resulting in long-term feelings of guilt, shame, difficulty controlling their emotions, to perhaps partaking in self-destructive behaviours like self-harm or drugs. Plus often they feel disassociated and depersonalised from the world and those around them.

Symptom differences:

PTSD
Often reliving the traumatic experience, through nightmares and flashbacks
Avoiding certain situations and activities that induce fear
Changes in beliefs and feelings about themselves and others
Hyperaroused, meaning they are always on high alert

CPTSD
Lack of emotional regulation and may have uncontrollable feelings
Changes in consciousness and dissociation
Adverse self-perception
Has a hard time maintaining healthy relationships
Has a distorted perception of their trauma
Loss of systems of meanings, like loss of faith and view the world/life as meaningless

19/02/2021

So why do I work with the subconscious mind? To resolve the issue of the people I work with, you have to know the - whole - story.
The conscious mind is bombarded by information, it can only process 40 bits of data per second.

The subconscious mind can process 20 MILLION bits of data per second - 500,000 times more powerful than the conscious mind.

The subconscious mind is responsible for storing emotions and memories. Its primary concern is safety and keeping you alive.

So, if a situation is perceived as a threat, data is going to get stored in memory, so you know how to respond in future.

It isn’t like the information isn’t getting in, just that very little of it is being processed consciously. The rest of the story is being processed and stored at a subconscious level.

So conscious recall of an event is only partial. Whilst subconscious beliefs are frozen in time until they are recalled. And it is possible that a subconscious belief made at the age of 5, is now running your life.

This is why I like to dig deep, to resolve the issue, you need to know the whole story.

Are you ready to stop that 5-year old running your life? DM me and we’ll have a quick chat to see if we're a good fit. If so, I can enrol you today and our first appointment will be in a few days!

08/02/2021

What difference would it make to your business if you stopped acting on impulse, based on your emotions? Have better relationships with your colleagues, employees and suppliers?

A lot, right?

But emotional intelligence, resilience and emotional awareness may not be something you ever learned, am I right?

I developed an epic tool kit of knowledge, exercises, techniques and strategies so I can teach you how to do just that - practically and without the jargon.

Join me end of February via my online course you can do in your own time and in private.

The first 20 people to sign up can do so for the introductory price of just £100.

E-mail venka@greymatterstherapy.com to book

29/01/2021

Trauma is like keeping a bunch of beach balls under the water. If it is one or two beach balls, it does not take that much effort to keep it under 'control'. It may be a tad tiring but not too strenuous. Three or more and it takes almost all of your energy to keep them from bobbing up.

And that one thing, that one event causes another beach ball to appear. Suddenly it is out of control, no matter how hard you try (probably with unhealthy coping mechanisms) they keep popping up, until you are engulfed by them.

So how do I help? I help to process the intense emotions (anger, fear, guilt shame) and beliefs (it was my fault, I am worthless, I am not enough) that come with each 'beach ball', so it really does become a thing of the past without the intensive 'charge'.

It stops haunting and poking you.

09/12/2020

Feeling afraid is a common symptom of post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD).

That intense fear that comes on suddenly is called a panic attack. This sudden fear may come without warning or without any obvious reason.

Or it can be triggered when something reminds you of your trauma.

During a panic attack, you may be afraid of dying or afraid of losing control of yourself. It may seem like things happening around you aren't real. An attack usually lasts from 5 to 20 minutes but may last even longer, up to a few hours.

You are most anxious for about 10 minutes after the attack starts.

Physical symptoms include:

- Chest pain

- A fast or pounding heartbeat

- Difficulty breathing

- Dizziness, shaking or trembling

- Stomach pain or nausea

- Sweating

- Chills or hot flashes

- Feel like you're choking

When you process trauma, panic attacks are a thing of the past. They simply disappear. You no longer have to do your utmost to manage them.

02/12/2020

Emotional flashbacks are different from 'regular' flashbacks.

Emotional flashbacks do not tend to have a visual component, so it is tricky to identify as a memory; instead, it is an emotion or feeling.

Emotional flashbacks often sneak up on you as just an inexplicable sensation of regressions to the overwhelming feeling-states of a powerless, helpless, abandoned or shamed child.

Emotional flashbacks can last for long periods, sometimes days.
These feeling states can include an overwhelming sense of:
- shame
- alienation
- rage
- fear
- abandonment
- grief
- depression
- seemingly unnecessary triggering of fawn/freeze/ fight/flight response

25/11/2020

"Window of Tolerance" describes the optimal arousal level when you are within the window of tolerance that allows for ups and downs of emotions. So hurt, anxiety, pain, or anger, can bring you close to the upper edges of the window of tolerance. You may feel too exhausted, sad, or shut down, but you can shift out of this.

Adversity through trauma can drastically disrupt your nervous system. Experiences and reactions become more intensive due to heightened senses, so coping strategies are less readily accessible. Adverse experiences also shrink your window of tolerance, meaning you have less capacity to ebb and flow and a greater tendency to become overwhelmed more quickly.

Learning how to track and shift your affect can be a powerful tool for promoting regulation and integration throughout the brains, body, and mind.

Oscillating between hyperarousal and hypoarousal is utterly exhausting.

This is why I teach my clients how to get out of these states with simple techniques and strategies. As you work through trauma, your window of tolerance widens which means you find life much easier to navigate.

The Grey Matters

30/10/2021

31/03/2021

28/02/2021

27/02/2021

24/02/2021

19/02/2021

08/02/2021

29/01/2021

09/12/2020

02/12/2020

25/11/2020

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