Its All About Me

11/12/2023

❤️racing & then going slow = GTN Spray time I think.

25/08/2023

2007 - all I suffered with was an achey back, asthma, awful periods, depression/anxiety & migraines
I had a great group of friends, worked 4 days a week, went out 2-3 times a week, both parents, nanny & grandma.

Fast forward 16yrs to 2023 - I now have 4 chronic/long term health issues; Adenomyosis, Fibromyalgia, Chronic Abdominal Pain Syndrome & widespread Arthritis (each has own issues), migraines, asthma, Unstable Angina which requires 4 diff meds as well as carrying a GTN spray, depression/anxiety, ptsd, carpal tunnel & borderline personality disorder.
I can't work which kills me as i loved my job, barely go out, can't drink much due to lots of diff meds, a couple of good friends (they need a medal) & only have my dad left.

This L O N G post isn't a pity post it's to explain why sometimes I have to cancel plans or decline outings, seem to live in jimjams. Its NOT cos I want to it's a case of having to due to 24/7 constant pain & extreme exhaustion.

You only see/read what I want you to see/hear.
You DONT see the pain behind each step or move as I try to smile/laugh or talk to hide.
Trust me when I say I try my hardest to keep going & sometimes I really struggle/come close to giving up completely.

Happy Friday from my bed x

02/06/2022

The amount of times in the last 3months ive buried my head into mine & cried/sobbed/silently screamed is unreal.
If my pillow talked, Warner Bros would make mine into an epic L O N G ass tearjerker/dramatic/comedy/horror film!!

19/07/2021

This spoke volumes to me as the HARDEST & BRAVEST thing a person with mental health struggles will EVER do is to Reach out & ask for help!!
So my message is "Don't suffer alone or in silence"; its okay not to be okay!!

13/06/2021

Extremely true unfortunately x

If you are skinny, you are on drugs. If you are fat, you need to lose weight. If you drink, you are an alcoholic. If you get dress up, you are conceited. If you dress down, you’ve let yourself go. If you speak your mind, you are rude. If you don’t say anything, you are snobbish. If you are sociable, you’re a party animal. If you stay to yourself, you are detached.

You can’t do anything without being criticized. We live in a society where people can’t survive if they are not judging the next person. Let’s build each other up. We are all the best we can, in the same game called life.

31/05/2021

This just says it ALL & needs no description...... x

Your issues do matter! 💚

12/05/2021

Menal Health Week -

25/04/2021

Being diagnosed with a disorder is "often" hard to handle, you may start to question who you are, if and where you fit into society, have fears/worries about how it'll affect you physically, emotionally/financially, will i be discriminated against, is there treatment, can I be cured etc....
ALL of these are normal feelings/reactions to being diagnosed with either a physical and/or a mental health disorder.
The BEST thing I've found is to find someone you TRUST completely & discuss any fears or questions you may have - Talking Is Key!!
Another key idea is to "try" and find ANY Positive in a Negative.
Above ALL, being kind to yourself makes ALL the difference to you living a life THAT works for you. Nobody, has the right to judge you for being you or question your decisions - ALL you NEED to do is make sure you're living your best life!!

25/04/2021

At times, I suffer from anxiety and depression and I do get embarrassed of it and it's not a good place to be in. People don't believe me when I tell them because I am always happy and laughing around them and try to make others laugh. At times I do struggle. I can be hard to live with or to be around when I get this way and I know it. I try my best to control it and most of the time I succeed. I manage to get on top of it and control things but at times I break. So if you see me and I am quiet or don't speak, I'm not upset with you nor have you upset me, I also do not mean to be rude, I may just need a minute to myself or a hug.
So please if you are my friend just bare with me
It's ok to not be ok, tell someone you're not ok. It's ok. Everyone says: "If you need anything, don't hesitate, I'll be there for you"...

❤❤❤

06/04/2021

Everyone says: "If you need anything, don't hesitate, I'll be there for you ". I'm going to make a bet, without being pessimistic, that out of my family and friends less than 7 will take the time to put this on their wall to help raise awareness of mental health difficulties.
So surprise me and prove me wrong!!! 🌻💛

!!

03/04/2021

I wouldn't say I the unhappiest person but I am Unhappy as I do care TOO MUCH about what people think about
▪︎me,
▪︎my body size
▪︎ body shape
▪︎what I'm wearing
▪︎where I live
▪︎what I'm doing generally

It's hard to stop something that you do naturally without thinking about, as it's a deep rooted habit/defense mechanism BUT it can be done.

Through research, therapy/subsequent therspist and a lot of learning j feel like I'm on Page One of a very big self discovery new chapter of the book; My Life.

02/03/2021

Therapy Session no.4 -