Kelly Armatage

30/01/2024

My February Workshop 🙏🏻

https://kellyarmatage.com/group-session/

24/02/2022

Yay! So I have just finished creating my 4th self-study therapy course of 2022. The reason I am creating these courses is to help those that prefer self-study or cannot afford long term therapy. This course is entitled “Warrior” - How To Transition Victim Thinking. Many of us through parental modelling or unhealed past trauma pick up victimised thinking patterns. This course will help you to overcome that. Pls inbox me for details 🦋

VICTIM ROLE
Avoiding responsibility
Placing the blame externally
Refusing to seek solutions
Negative self-talk
Wallowing in self-pity, powerlessness and frustration
Procrastination and self-sabotage
Has relationships with high conflict
Anger outbursts, loneliness and isolation issues
Often thinks "why me?"
Resentful of others who are successful

VICTIM ROLE REWARDS
Other people lavishing you with attention
Other people feeling sorry for you
Other people are less likely to criticise or upset you
You don't have to take responsibility for anything
You have the “right” to complain
You’re more likely to get what you want
You feel interesting because you get to tell people all of your stories
You resonate with the chaos of drama
You get to avoid anger because of your sadness and self-pity

19/04/2021

Codependency is the desire to fix and control another person. Codependent behaviours are as follows:-

🌟 Losing oneself in a relationship
🌟 Focusing all attention on controlling your partner
🌟 Believing that nagging, scolding and guiding another to change works
🌟 Residing in the belief that others are there to fulfil an inner void
🌟 Creating the feelings of depletion, frustration and neediness
🌟 Having obsessive tendencies

To start to heal codependent behaviours, one must work on creating and nurturing the following actions:-

🌟 Self focus and having a life outside of the relationship
🌟 Detaching from fear and control
🌟 Work on effective and loving communication
🌟 Realising that happiness comes from within and to not energetically try to extract fulfilment from their partner
🌟 Creating the inner feelings of love, gratitude, inner worth and happiness
🌟 To give up on obsession and to learn to relate with others independently, compassionately and respectfully

Kelly Armatage 💜

09/02/2021

We are delighted to advise that The A.S.K. Qualification is listed on The Institute of Counselling’s website 🙏🏻

Institute of Counselling offers The A.S.K Qualification. This is a popular course for Counsellors, Therapists and Coaches and also those that aspire to become an A.S.K. Facilitator. . Pleaase call our free advice line on 0141 204 2230 for more informat

19/05/2020

What many of us do in dysfunctional relationships is:-

1) allow mistreatment
2) over-give
3) get into conflict
4) sacrifice our own needs

In order to have a balanced, equal, loving supportive and beautiful relationship it is essential to :-

1) believe we deserve love, respect and good treatment
2) open up the channels to receive
3) resolve anxiety and triggers via self soothing + identifying what we need from our partner
4) assert needs and feelings continually with non-controlling and respectful communication

As we commit to practicing the skills above, we are able to turn dysfunction into devotion, conflict into cooperation and imbalance into intimacy. ~ Kelly Armatage ❤️

26/04/2020

What part of your life do you complain to your loved ones about? Maybe it’s your relationships or finances or career. It could be your parenting or health.

It is prudent to know and comprehend that the following happens when you do this:-

1. You continue to create and attract the negative outcome in this area of your life through your complaining
2. As you believe things will not improve, you stay stuck in a stagnant pattern of dissatisfaction
3. You gain subconscious rewards of relief by sharing your crap with your friend or loved one (but your career/finances/relationships etc see no relief).
4. You are not learning or growing or shifting your experience of reality

If you notice you are doing this habit, commit to refrain from complaining about that area of your life from this day forward and in place write down a daily gratitude journal of what there is to be grateful for in this area. So if it’s your finances, this would be along the lines of “I am grateful for the money that I have that provides for my food and shelter for today”. As you shift from the old and into the new, your outer reality will change. We are creating our realities from the inside out and dropping the habit of fearing the negative and the subsequent habit of complaining will ensure that area of your life will catapult into a whole new paradigm of success, growth and change. ~ Kelly Armatage. ❤️

03/04/2020

Every single one of us have relationship triggers. This is when our body goes into a stress response (fear) for a period of time until the trigger passes or is released. What many of us do unconsciously is to react to our partners, blaming them for their behaviour that is causing us to feel mad/sad/rejected/scared and so on. This causes damage to the relationship, does not repair the trigger, causes our partner to close up their hearts and distance themselves and ultimately over time can set up the demise of the relationship. It is very important (if we want to grow, heal and learn AND ascend our relationship to a healthier one) to:-

1. Deal with the trigger ourselves (not blaming or projecting onto our partner)
2. Identify what fear the trigger has caused within ourselves - I am wrong / I am not good enough / I am unlovable / I am not important etc
3. Feel deep into the feeling, knowing this is a stress response to a childhood memory (that has been activated from the current situation)
4. Revisit the memory from the past and replay it using new enquiring questions
5. Revisit an earlier childhood memory to the negative childhood memory and replay this, to realign the brain to a self love pattern that was there before the original trigger occurred. This will recreate new emotional responses to other people’s behavior and heal the trigger deep within the subconscious.

If we commit to doing this work, we are then in a better place to identify our partners behaviour from a space of clarity and are able to address it (if necessary). We then start to alleviate and heal triggers, prevent unnecessary struggle, miscommunication and conflict and can create a more open, healthy and loving relationship. ❤️
For help with healing relationship triggers, you can book a session with me via this link https://www.aserenitykit.com/form-download/?kit=218
Kelly Armatage ❤️

26/03/2020

The collective consciousness right now is panic, stress and fear. Globally millions of people are concerned not only for the health of themselves and their loved ones, but concern for their careers and finances. Such a high level of uncertainty in so many key life areas is sure to make our minds ruminate in fear. Here are my 5 tips to beat fear during this time :-

1) Remember that fear is a feeling caused by negative thoughts set in a future that we do not own. Fear is a rumination of a future worse case scenario. We all have power over our current thinking. When we feel ourselves descending into a panic, we can write down the thoughts/fears that we are ruminating on and use a turnaround statement to switch the thought into the opposite. ie “I will lose my job and have no money” to “I will find a way to gain employment and financial stability”. “I am likely to get sick” to “I am healthy, vibrant and fit with a high immune system”.

2) Know that we have 50,000 - 70,000 thoughts per day and that our thoughts create our feelings. If we are generally feeling anxiety and stress, then this is a major red flag that over 40,000 of our thoughts are negative. Instant actions to cleanse our minds must occur if we wish to feel better. Guided mediations on YouTube, exercise, reading or the CBT activity above can help to quickly interrupt negative patterns of thought. Commit to replacing dwelling on anxiety immediately with a healthier activity.

3) Use this time at home to start a new course, increase our spiritual knowledge, write in a journal or clean out cupboards etc. This is a wonderful time for learning, growth and ascension for the planet. We must practise gratitude for this time and the amazing personal, emotional and spiritual changes that will occur. We will come out of the other side of this stronger, more loving of the planet and of ourselves and with a renewed clarity on what is really important.

4) The tips above are ways to remove our fears, however another wonderful technique for removal is actually to allow the anxiety to be present within our mind and body. As we welcome and embrace the fact that fear is present, we will bring acceptance and love to the anxiety energy. By allowing ourselves to sit and be present in the anxiety for a little while will set about the dissolution of it. What we resist persists. Bringing forgiveness to the fact that anxiety is a normal human stress response sets up the change. A wonderful mantra to say here is “yes I am scared right now, it’s ok, it’s normal to have anxiety under such conditions. I accept and love that I am feeling scared right now. I allow this feeling to move through me and fall away”.

5) Breathe. Did you know that when we have a longer out breath to our in breath, that we increase the feel good hormones in our brains. Breathing in. Pausing. Then breathing out for a longer period raises the serotonin, DMT and dopamine in the brain. We can search for breathing exercises on YouTube and practise getting into an alignment with breathwork and the amazing benefits that this will bring.

For those of you who would like it, I am offering my overcoming fear meditation free - listed here- https://www.aserenitykit.com/store/
Just inbox me and I will send you the MP3.
Kelly Armatage. ❤️

23/03/2020

My blog “Transitioning Tough Times” was published in Bahrain Confidential magazine back in 2015. I felt it worthwhile to re-post it below:-

“Transitioning Tough Times”. By Kelly Armatage.

Life as we know it is full of ups and downs. The ups are those wonderful periods of time, whereby we feel at our most confident, when we feel indestructible. Everything is flowing, everything seems under control, an element of inner peace pervades our very being. At times like these, you often hear people say “this wont last”, “Something is bound to come along to break the peace”. Well these statements have a certain truth to them, because one thing we can guarantee in life is this, nothing stays the same. Everything changes!

When tough times do rear their ugly head, what is certain to occur is a definite collapse in all that we feel is secure. Tough times can be a relationship breakup, a retirement, a war, a famine, a redundancy, a death of a loved one. Tough times are generalised as a loss of some sort. When human beings experience a void in what was once a perfect time, things tend to fall apart. Emotions go from power to panic, from anticipation to anxiety from certainty to insecurity. It can literally feel like our world is falling apart. A vulnerability and rawness like no other, descends upon our heart and soul. Everyday activities become a struggle to get through, as we cope with the fear from within.

Yet how many people do you hear say “that redundancy was the best thing that ever happened to me” or “the loss of my mother ensured I created a zest for life”. It is through every tough time that we learn, that we grow and that we gain more information to see us through further on our journey. Without tough times, life would be mundane, tedious and just the same old same old. Where is the fun in that? Life is about lessons, development, new experiences and increased self awareness. Life is about change!

If you are reading this and going through a change at this phase in your life and finding it difficult to cope, below are some techniques to ensure a smoother transitioning experience: –

* Let go! The pain we feel is due to holding on to what once was. By releasing control, we release the attachment to things being how we want them to be. Remember the universe has a plan for you and what you desire will come eventually, but the timing is orchestrated by the universe unfortunately and not by you.

* Allow things to be messy! Just because things are not how we wish them to be, would that really give the feeling of contentment? True contentment comes from acceptance of the here and now. Repeating the mantra “I allow things to be messy” helps to release the stress.

* Embrace this time as a good thing, as a blessing. This time is a gift for us to learn new information about ourselves and the world in general. We must allow the life lesson to come to us through being open to it, rather than through resistance. By resisting, be sure that the pain will just continue.

* Nurture and encourage ourselves through this time. Quite often when things are unsettled, it can be easy to go into controlling, repairing and fixing mode, which just exasperates the problem. Placing unrealistic goals upon ourselves through a tough time can in fact hurt us more. Now is the time for reflection, for acceptance and most definitely for providing an extra emotional support to ourselves.

* Use a journal for our feelings day by day. This will show the process of change that we are going through. This will show the new feelings, views and thoughts we will be having at this time. Journalling ensures we create a deeper self awareness.

* Allow our vulnerability to be there. Accept our emotions at this time as being softer and more raw. So many people resist and push away their emotions, literally scared of the feelings that are coming up. Allow the feelings. Embrace them. By allowing, we speed up the process of them becoming less painful.

* Accept support, love and nurturance from others. It is not necessary to be so strong all of the time!

There is no need to be fearful of the future or of tough times. Tough times are the transition to a better place, a deeper and more invigorating way to live our lives. If fear for the future occurs push it away, for that which is on its way, is for our well-being and good in the long run. We must allow ourselves to walk through the woods with strength and acceptance, for there is the promise of a beautiful rainbow awaiting us at the other side. 🌈

17/03/2020

Affirmation for today:-
“I refuse to absorb the collective sense of panic. I make a strong intention to feel faith, to feel light, to feel joy, despite perceived external conditions. I am health, I am happiness, I am free”. ~ Kelly Armatage.

24/02/2020

https://youtu.be/1kpDuKUGmyc

20/02/2020