Hi, my name is Rachel Gosling from In The Flow. All the posts, and pictures are from me. Here is a little bit about how I got here.
I have always been a "mover" and a dancer, from conception I believe. But dancing for me was never about the show. It was about how it made me feel. And as I was not going to be a “professional” dancer (apparently) I was convinced to let it go.
However, in my early 20’s I happened upon Salsa! This led me down the path of many other Latin dances and then swing dances such as Lindy-hop. This is what I had been searching for. This is what I had already known. I felt a real connection and sense of being present. I experienced such connection to the music and my body, as well as freedom and joy to express it.
By my late 20’s, the health issues that had niggled at me for years (anxiety, exhaustion and joint pain) became so acute that I was unable to move at all. Not one morsel of movement… and for me, this felt as though I had lost connection to my true essence. This was a time of deep mental struggle. For questions about life and it’s importance.
It was a dark place at times, but thankfully, I was driven out of that dark place by a determination to find connection to my essence again. Despite medics consoling me that I would have to find a way to adapt and find joy in other things, I was determined to dance.
Recovery was slow and came in many ways, including with the help of medication and health professionals, but I am of the firm believe that my condition (which was diagnoses as inflammatory arthritis) is deeply rooted in mental stress. I found yoga, something that I had “practised” in some form for many years, was the most useful tool of all and it was during this time that I fell in love.
It was through yoga that I could finally find a way to move my body gently and with kindness. It was through yoga that I could witness the small changes: from my bottom being 3 ft away from my heels in child at the start of class, to my bottom being 1 ft away by the end. It was through yoga that I could witness my frustration and inclination to be hard on myself when my hamstrings were not as loose as they used to be, or I just couldn’t hold a plank because my wrists would not allow. And yes, there were a lot of tears. So many tears. It was through yoga that I faced myself, and it was not always easy. But it was through yoga that I could see a way to change. Not to change my body, although that did happen, but mainly to change my mind. To alter my nervous system to induce relaxation and calm, and to be honest, it was from here where most of the healing came.
It has been my own experience that has drawn me towards therapeutic style of yoga and methods of teaching. It is because I have experienced the benefits so profoundly, and although we are all individual, I believe that stress, speed of life and unnecessary pressure, is the real pandemic, and I hope to be part of the cure.
I still love to dance, but to be honest, yoga has taken over my life in such a way that I do not do it as much any more. Unlike dancing, which, although is wonderful for the soul, can sometimes be hard on my joints, yoga allows me to connect with my essence and joy and is also healing for my body at the same time. Besides, as I am approaching 40 and balance and calm is my main focus, I just can’t hack the late night parties and lack of sleep anymore.... but I am still so full of joy!
