14/11/2025
I recently got told that my content creates “red flags” for positioning myself as a guru because I share personal stories of transformation, and that this centering of my journey could lead to participant dependency rather than empowering autonomous integration.
The feedback suggested I reframe my content to focus on deconstructing social myths rather than sharing personal victories, in order to create “safe spaces.”
And it made me reflect deeply on safety in the coaching industry.
I’m hosting highly transformative experiences, sessions and retreats. These spaces are not “safe” spaces.
The idea of creating a safe space is an illusion of control. Safe spaces don’t exist because we can’t control what will be a trigger for a participant.
Transformative spaces are always spaces of courage. Telling people it’s a safe space can feel deeply unsafe to a person when they don’t feel safe within themselves.
What is true safety?
Safety to the human nervous system is connection and attunement. I’m very good at being attuned to a group or individuals in sessions. However I also sometimes f**k it up. It’s called being human.
When s**t hits the fan, what truly matters as a facilitator is accountability, not responsibility. I know that whenever s**t goes down - I’m accountable - therefore I will take responsibility for the result (not for my intentions or behaviour that was in accordance with safety guidelines).
In fact, when we work with emotions, facts like safety guidelines and woke concepts are nice to have but our emotional body doesn’t care about these things.
Our emotions are always valid whether a facilitator said A or B.
What do you think? Any experiences of safe spaces feeling unsafe regardless of guidelines? Do you feel my content makes you feel the only way to “healing” is to become like me?
