Somatic Tao

01/01/2026

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

31/12/2025

THANK YOU!

Thank you for your support through 2025 and learning about BEN, Babyhood Emotional Neglect.

Top three most viewed original content in 2025:

3rd - Restoring BEN's Sense of Aliveness
https://www.facebook.com/share/p/16T8UphwJX/

2nd - Titrating Recovery for BEN
https://www.facebook.com/share/p/1Bj2FK1WNK/

1st - Situations of Risk of BEN - In-utero, Birth & Separation Events
https://www.facebook.com/share/p/16V89C7TSG/

See you in 2026 with more information on BEN.

30/12/2025

CARL JUNG – LONELINESS

"Loneliness does not come from having no people around, but from being unable to communicate the things that seem important to oneself, or from holding certain views which others find inadmissible."

MORE INFORMATION:

📌 BEN CHANGES WIRING OF THE BRAIN:
https://www.facebook.com/share/p/1A2TFYgTt6/

29/12/2025

CONNECTION IN BABYHOOD IS PHYSICAL - Gabor Maté

Video credit - Spark Growth

28/12/2025

SOOTHING SUNDAY – Washing and Rinsing ...

Washing and rinsing to renew.

27/12/2025

NAMING EMOTIONS CHANGES THE BRAIN

Social media offers mixed messages about whether naming emotions helps with stress and anxiety. Research shows that putting words to what we’re feeling acts to reduce emotional overwhelm while supporting clearer thinking.

The original “Process Model of Emotion Regulation” (Gross, 2002)[1, 2] proposes that labelling emotions supports reappraisal—the mind’s ability to reinterpret emotional experiences. This model was later expanded to include identifying the situation that triggers the emotion [3].

Neuroscience supports this approach. fMRI studies show that when people label emotions such as anger, fear, or sadness while viewing distressing images, activity increases in areas of the prefrontal cortex linked to emotional regulation, while activity in the amygdala decreases [4]. In effect, the brain shifts from reflexive alarm to reflection, evaluation, and choice. Putting emotions into words allows top-down regulation of subcortical regions, particularly the amygdala [5].

Further research indicates that:

👉 Poor emotion recognition undermines reappraisal and intensifies negative emotions [6, 7].
👉 Disruptions in emotion recognition and reappraisal play a role in affective disorders, [8, 9].

Precision also matters. The more specific the label, the more accurately the amygdala receives present-moment information, improving communication with the prefrontal cortex and enabling more effective reappraisal of both emotion and situation [5].

Together, these processes build emotional literacy and strengthen neural circuits that regulate attention, bodily sensations, and action under pressure—supporting what can be called EMOTURITY (neurophysiological emotional maturity).

So next time you notice a strong reaction, pause and name:

📌 SENSATION: tight, shaky, weak, fizzy
📌 LOCATION: chest, throat, leg
📌 EMOTION: fear, anger, sadness
📌 SITUATION: not being heard

Keep it simple. Over-intellectualising can lead to rumination, disconnecting awareness from the body’s felt sense. When that happens, the nervous system loses the chance to regulate, leaving emotional energy unresolved and more likely to surface as symptoms.

MORE INFORMATION:

📌 EMOTOLOGY:
https://www.facebook.com/photo?fbid=1034305068710800&set=a.457198723088107

📌 EMOTOLOGY RELIES ON INTEROCEPTION:
https://www.facebook.com/share/p/1CnetSUCjo/

📌 TRAUMA IS THWARTED EMOTOLOGY
https://www.facebook.com/share/p/1MKWcnKZLA/

📌 Emoturity - Nervous System Emotional Maturity:
https://www.facebook.com/share/p/16Hh4tXebz/

📌 EMOTURITY IS BUILT ON NEUROPLASTICITY:
https://www.facebook.com/share/v/1CFA4pMemf/

📌 Emoturity Affects Life & Health:
https://www.facebook.com/share/p/19LN8uu4Pt/

📌 Emotional Intelligence Is Not Emoturity:
https://www.facebook.com/share/p/15HmjdyGMc/

📌 PREOCCUPATION WITH THE MIND NEGLECTS SOMATICS OF EMOTION:
https://www.facebook.com/share/p/1CVMvRqBeW/

📌 WRITING FOR EMOTIONAL RESILIENCE:
https://www.facebook.com/share/p/1Bs8f1z7M8/

RESEARCH:

[1] Gross, J. J. (1998). The Emerging Field of Emotion Regulation: An Integrative Review. Review of General Psychology, 2(3), 271-299. https://doi.org/10.1037/1089-2680.2.3.271

[2] J.J. Gross, O.P. John. Individual differences in two emotion regulation processes: Implications for affect, relationships, and well-being. J. Personal. Soc. Psychol., Vol. 85 (No. 2) (2003), pp. 348-362. https://psycnet.apa.org/doi/10.1037/0022-3514.85.2.348

[3] Moyal Natali , Henik Avishai , Anholt Gideon E. Cognitive strategies to regulate emotions – current evidence and future directions. Frontiers in Psychology, Volume 4 – 2013. 2014 https://www.frontiersin.org/journals/psychology/articles/10.3389/fpsyg.2013.01019

[4] Lieberman MD, Eisenberger NI, Crockett MJ, Tom SM, Pfeifer JH, Way BM. Putting feelings into words: affect labeling disrupts amygdala activity in response to affective stimuli. Psychol Sci. 2007 May;18(5):421-8. https://doi.org/10.1111/j.1467-9280.2007.01916.x

[5] Shimpei Yoshimura, Shizuka Nakamura, Tomoka Morimoto, Changes in neural activity during the combining affect labeling and reappraisal, Neuroscience Research, Volume 190, 2023, Pages 51-59, ISSN 0168-0102, https://doi.org/10.1016/j.neures.2022.12.001

[6] Boden, M. T., & Thompson, R. J. (2015). Facets of emotional awareness and associations with emotion regulation and depression. Emotion, 15(3), 399–410. https://doi.org/10.1037/emo0000057

[7] Subic-Wrana C, Beutel ME, Brähler E, Stöbel-Richter Y, Knebel A, Lane RD, et al. (2014) How Is Emotional Awareness Related to Emotion Regulation Strategies and Self-Reported Negative Affect in the General Population? PLoS ONE 9(3): e91846. https://doi.org/10.1371/journal.pone.0091846

[8] Suri, G., Whittaker, K., & Gross, J. J. (2015). Launching reappraisal: It’s less common than you might think. Emotion, 15(1), 73–77. https://doi.org/10.1037/emo0000011

[9] Vine, V., Marroquín, B. Affect Intensity Moderates the Association of Emotional Clarity with Emotion Regulation and Depressive Symptoms in Unselected and Treatment-Seeking Samples. Cogn Ther Res 42, 1–15 (2018). https://doi.org/10.1007/s10608-017-9870-9

26/12/2025

JONICE WEBB, Psychologist and Author

"Emotionally neglectful parents often appear loving and caring on the surface but remain unaware of their child's emotional world."

24/12/2025

23/12/2025

CONNECTION ISN’T JUST FOR CHRISTMAS…

For many of us, the festive season is the time of year most associated with connection: gathering with family; reconnecting with long-standing friends; and taking part in local traditions and community events.

It is well established that secure attachment and connection in early life create a strong foundation for our future wellbeing. Research also shows how profoundly damaging early neglect can be to long-term physical, psychological, and emotional health. But connection doesn’t stop mattering after childhood. An 85-year-long research project, the Harvard Study of Adult Development [1], offers clear insight into the importance of connection across the entire lifespan.

The study shows that the quality of our relationships has a powerful and lasting influence on health throughout life [2]. What matters most includes:

👉 Degree of strength and supportiveness – quality is more important than quantity
👉 Reliability – nurturing of stress and emotional resilience
👉 Community involvement – fostering a sense of belonging
👉 Self-connection – self-reflection and valuing of physical, psychological and emotional feedback from one’s body and mind.
👉 Social fitness – on-going effort to assess and nurture meaningful relationships over time.

Social fitness truly matters. Regardless of socio-economic background, participants who were most satisfied with their relationships at age 50 were the healthiest at age 80. In short, cultivating strong, supportive connections with family, friends, and community throughout life significantly increases the chances of living longer and happier.

If that isn’t motivation enough, consider the cost of loneliness. Research suggests loneliness can be as harmful to health as smoking or alcoholism [2], increasing the risk of physical and mental decline and even premature death.

The message is clear: we are wired for connection. Not only in early life, though that helps set the course. Not just at Christmas. But throughout our entire lives.

MORE INFORMATION:

📌 Introduction of BEN: https://www.facebook.com/photo/?fbid=894198262721482&set=a.457198723088107

📌 Emoturity - Nervous System Emotional Maturity:
https://www.facebook.com/share/p/16Hh4tXebz/

📌 Emoturity Affects Life & Health:
https://www.facebook.com/share/p/19LN8uu4Pt/

📌 Emotional Intelligence Is Not Emoturity:
https://www.facebook.com/share/p/15HmjdyGMc/

📌 IMPROVING LONG-TERM HEALTH OUTCOMES
https://www.facebook.com/share/p/1ALBWBK3s4/

RESEARCH:

[1] Harvard Second Generation Study. https://www.adultdevelopmentstudy.org/ [2025 12 22]

[2] Liz Mineo. Good Genes Are Nice, But Joy is Better. The Harvard Gazette. 2019. https://news.harvard.edu/gazette/story/2017/04/over-nearly-80-years-harvard-study-has-been-showing-how-to-live-a-healthy-and-happy-life/ [2025 12 22].

22/12/2025

AT HOME SHOULDN’T MEAN AT RISK

International Domestic Violence Hotlines:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_domestic_violence_hotlines

24 hr UK National Domestic Abuse Helpline phone number:
0808 2000 247

UK National Abuse Helpline website:
https://www.nationaldahelpline.org.uk

The festive season, Christmas and New Year, and any public holiday periods are really tough for people in homes of perpetrators of domestic abuse/violence, (N.B. PLEASE NOTE: the words “ABUSE” and “VIOLENCE” are the same thing; they are interchangeable).

It is a time of year when behaviour is especially at risk and negatively fuelled by:

• different routines;
• lack of familiar structure and boundaries;
• alcohol; and even
• drugs

WHAT IS DOMESTIC ABUSE?

A UK definition and explanation of domestic abuse can be found on the National Council for Voluntary Organisations, (NVCO), website: https://www.ncvo.org.uk/help-and-guidance/safeguarding/specialist-guides/safeguarding-law/domestic-abuse/legal-definition/ #/

There are different types of abuse that perpetrators use against their victims, most abuse will overlap. Types of abuse include; PHYSICAL, SEXUAL, PSYCHOLOGICAL VERBAL, EMOTIONAL AND MENTAL, FINANCIAL AND SPIRITUAL.

I.E. Domestic abuse/violence does NOT NEED TO MAKE PHYSICAL CONTACT with the victim.

This post leads with examples of psychological, emotional and mental abuse, because many people have no idea they are victims of such types of abuse.

PSYCHOLOGICAL ABUSE:

Psychological includes verbal, emotional and mental abuse. The abuse can use both verbal and non-verbal communication. The impact of psychological abuse is often deeper and longer lasting than physical abuse. Examples of this kind of abuse include:

• Name calling
• Constant insults
• Shaming and humiliating her in public, with put-downs disguised as jokes
• Nasty, hurtful sarcasm
• Only engaging in conversation with her when he decides the time is right
• Silences and sulking for days
• Blocking and diverting her if she wants to say some thing
• He decides what subjects can and cannot be discussed
• Trivialising and minimising anything she says and making it seem insignificant
• Twisting and turning every situation around so it’s always her fault
• Screaming and shouting at her in private or public
• Criticism or constantly correcting everything she says or does
• Refusing to listen to anything she has to say
• Not allowing her to voice her opinion or have an opinion of her own
• Denial – pretending he hasn’t said or done something
• Laughing or making fun of her inappropriately
• Leaving nasty messages (texts, voicemail, Facebook, Twitter, etc.)
• Accusing her of unfaithfulness, not trying hard enough or purposely doing something to annoy
• Blaming her for his failures, or other forms of abuse

EMOTIONAL/MENTAL ABUSE:

Emotional and mental abuse is often subtle and, in some cases, victims don’t recognise they are being abused. This kind of abuse will wear victims down, often over a long period of time, until they take responsibility for their abuser’s actions and behaviour towards them, or simply accept it.

PHYSICAL ABUSE:

Physical abuse is the use of physical force against someone, in a way that injures or endangers that person. Domestic abuse rarely starts at physical assault; perpetrators will use physical abuse when they feel they are being challenged. Examples of physical abuse include:

• Punching
• Hitting
• Spitting
• Kicking
• Strangling
• Restraining
• Burning
• Scalding
• Stabbing
• Head butting
• Biting
• Nipping
• Squeezing
• Shoving
• Suffocating
• Pushing
• Grabbing
• Choking
• Throwing
• Breaking bones
• Using weapons
• Poisoning
• Throwing things
• Force feeding
• Attempts to kill
• Reckless driving
• Pulling hair
• Murder

SEXUAL ABUSE:

Any situation in which someone is forced to participate in unwanted, unsafe or degrading s*xual activity, even when it’s with a partner the person is also having consensual s*x is s*xual abuse. Examples of s*xual abuse include:

• R**e (forced pe*******on)
• Sexual assault (vaginal, a**l or oral)
• Sexual assault using objects; s*x toys, broken glass, bottles
• Forcing s*x in ways that hurt, or following a physical beating
• Forcing s*x with others
• Forcing s*x in front of others
• Making her watch or mimic po*******hy
• Unwanted fondling
• Videoing / photographing her doing s*xual acts
• Pinching or biting breasts and buttocks
• Name calling e.g. frigid, w***e
• Criticising her s*xually
• Forcing her to strip, or forcefully stripping her
• Sadistic s*xual acts
• Forcing her into prostitution
• Withholding s*x and/or affection
• Making s*x conditional on her behaviour
• Minimising or denying her feelings about s*x or s*xual preferences
• Forcing or coercing her to act out fantasies she is not comfortable with

FINANCIAL ABUSE:

In addition to hurting victims emotionally and physically, perpetrators may also hurt them financially. Examples of economic or financial abuse include:

• Controlling all the finances
• Not allowing her to see any bank statements, bills, or any financial transactions
• Putting all the bills in her name then not paying them – destroying her credit or chance to set up her own bank account if she leaves
• Withholding money or credit cards
• Not allowing her to have her own bank account
• Not paying bills and spending the money on himself (alcohol, gambling, trips out, treats for himself)
• Giving her an allowance which is not sufficient to buy what she
needs
• Making her account for every penny she spends and inspecting all receipts
• Stealing or selling her possessions or taking money
• Exploiting her assets for his personal gain
• Preventing her from working or choosing her own career
• Making her work from home so he can “keep an eye on her”
• Sabotaging her job (making her miss work, calling constantly)
• Making her beg for money
•. Setting up financial loans, credit cards, hire purchase agreements by forging her signature or making her sign the paperwork
• The perpetrator refusing to work or contribute to the financial running of the family and house

SPIRITUAL ABUSE:

Spiritual abuse can be hard to detect, especially if you are not knowledgeable in that particular religion, culture, beliefs and traditions. Examples of this include:

• Using her religious or spiritual beliefs to manipulate her
• Preventing her from practising her religious or spiritual beliefs
• Ridiculing her religious or spiritual beliefs
• Forcing the children to be brought up in a faith that mum has not agreed to
• Threats to harm or kill in the name of ‘honour’
• Using religious teachings or cultural tradition as an excuse for violence
• Denying access to ceremonies, places of worship, land or family
• Forcing her to do things against her beliefs
• Forced marriage
• Female ge***al mutilation

THE MOST IMPORTANT THING IS - YOUR SENSE OF SAFETY.

Victim Support UK state that, “if you didn’t/don’t feel safe, then you have a RIGHT TO REPORT TO THE POLICE.” Especially if the perpetrator:

• attempted to cause you harm; OR
• there remains a risk of harm; OR
• you are still receiving threats of harm.

GOLDEN RULE according to Victim Support UK:

“If you believe what happened should not have happened, then you have a right as a victim to voice that and report it.”

TIME FRAME FOR REPORTING DOMESTIC ABUSE:

In the UK there is NO TIME FRAME/DEADLINE to report any crimes. You can report any abuse/violence when you feel strong enough or comfortable to do so. Of course, the longer the delay, the greater chance evidence could be lost. But you shouldn't feel pressured to report or not to report it.

An information leaflet from Victim Support can be found in the link below. It contains more useful UK contacts and phone numbers for UK organisations who can help:

https://www.victimsupport.org.uk/wp-content/uploads/2022/02/P2714_08-Domestic-Abuse-leaflet.pdf

Finally, if you know anyone who has been a victim of domestic abuse or suspect they might be a victim, please discretely pass this information on because - AT HOME SHOULD NOT MEAN AT RISK.







. .

21/12/2025

SOOTHING SUNDAY – Winter Solstice ...

In the Yin of Winter
The longest night
Gives way
To the rebirth of Yang
And the return
Of the sun.

20/12/2025

BEN’s DISRESPECT, MISOGYNY & IMMORALITY

The UK government has announced plans to send boys as young as 11 on anti-misogyny courses to address violence against women and girls. Topics may include image-based abuse, coercive behaviour, online harassment, stalking, peer pressure, and the fact that po*******hy does not reflect healthy relationships. Girls may also attend if they show harmful behaviour, but the focus is primarily on boys and young men.

Government research shows:

👉 70% of secondary school teachers say their school has dealt with s*xual violence or harassment between pupils
👉 40% of teenagers in relationships have experienced abuse
👉 Over 40% of young men hold positive views of a misogynistic online influencer

Most of these behaviours sit on a continuum of one core emotion: anger.

However, anger itself isn’t the root cause of disrespectful or immoral behaviour. The issue lies in the unconscious externalisation of anger - the inability to remain embodied and conscious when anger is activated. This reflects poor emoturity: emotional immaturity within the non-cognitive brain and body. And this often traces back to BEN - Babyhood Emotional Neglect.

In early life, emotions are our only way of signalling unmet needs. When emotions are neglected, the infant internalises a powerful message: I don’t matter. A link to misogyny can then form - the primary caregiver is most often female, and early neglect may later be unconsciously projected onto women.

From a biological and evolutionary perspective, this makes sense. Why would the nervous system instinctively respect what once failed to nurture it? The seeds of disrespect are often sown far earlier than we realise - in babyhood.

BEN leaves us emoto-somatically disconnected. Our capacity to feel the impact of our actions on others is reduced. Conscience, remorse, guilt and shame are dulled. Harm becomes possible without inner consequence. This is how societies lose their moral compass.

Anti-misogyny classes may help address existing harm. But real change requires education about BEN before people become parents.

The morality quotient of society will only rise when the emoturity quotient of society does too.

MORE INFORMATION:

📌 Introduction of BEN: https://www.facebook.com/photo/?fbid=894198262721482&set=a.457198723088107

📌 Emoturity - Nervous System Emotional Maturity:
https://www.facebook.com/share/p/16Hh4tXebz/

📌 Emoturity Affects Life & Health:
https://www.facebook.com/share/p/19LN8uu4Pt/

📌 Emotional Intelligence Is Not Emoturity:
https://www.facebook.com/share/p/15HmjdyGMc/

📌 EMOTION & THUS BEN DRIVES BEHAVIOUR
https://www.facebook.com/share/r/19UGvs5vNM/

📌 BEN's VIOLENT RAGE IN ADOLESCENCE
https://www.facebook.com/somatictao/videos/525087156991101

📌 PLEASE DON’T TELL BEN TO “CALM DOWN”
https://www.facebook.com/share/p/1KmLym1WGG/

📌 BEN & Caregiver History of BEN:
https://www.facebook.com/share/p/1GLpM8h9sn

RESEARCH:

[1] Ofsted Research and a**lysis - Review of s*xual abuse in schools and colleges. UK Government. 2021. https://www.gov.uk/government/publications/review-of-s*xual-abuse-in-schools-and-colleges/review-of-s*xual-abuse-in-schools-and-colleges [2025 12 20]