25/08/2022
My personal LIFE UPDATE…
Thank you to everyone who has sent messages over the last few years
This is my update on where I have been, why I haven’t been replying to messages and why I stepped away from my work for a few years…
There is not an easy way to say it
At the end of 2019
My partner died
Very suddenly and unexpectedly
Devastation would be an accurate word but it doesn’t cover the complete shock and array of emotion that followed
Many of you knew my partner as the force of unending love and support in my life and the support in my business. A man respected and adored by so many
I decided to step away from my work and to continue to run my partners thriving street food business shortly after he died.
To spend time with his incredible team, sharing memories, crying, sometimes laughing and processing what had happened.
It was one foot in front of the other surrounded by very good people and solid support.
We took his business to great new heights and decided recently that our journey had come to an end and we closed the doors.
In many ways the gentle call of the work I loved to do was one of the (many) things that helped me through those initial days
Being fascinated in the body, health, emotions and how to be a human in this thing called life, never went away. The curiosity, even in the hardest days somehow helped me through. I thank God for that curiosity.
In the early days I had decided I wanted to live, and I was determined to find a way. I also thank God for that determination.
I have changed a lot in this time.
My relationship to life has changed. I am learning to allow this experience to reveal more of me.
My relationship to health and to my body has changed too.
My heart has been cracked well and truly open and in the times when I have been on my knees I never imagined I would be able to hold so much love in my heart.
My walking with grief has been private up until now, but I have a lot to say about it and the early days of intense pain. The waves that still come, though there is a bigger gap in between them. My journey with grief will always be there as it changes form the more life I am privileged to live. In this time I have also been writing and documenting my journey which I will one day share.
For now though …
I am here
I am very much ‘here’
Perhaps more present to this wild life than I’ve ever been
I feel ready to be teaching, consulting and doing what I love again. And being ‘ready’ has been very important to me before I offer my work again
Not much is guaranteed in this life
Much of it is uncertain
We have NOW
Which is more than all those that have gone before us
From where I am standing at this point in my life
This knowledge is an invitation to live really rather boldly
I thank you for reading my update
And I am glad after these years we are still connected
I will get to all your messages over the coming week
With love
Fran
A Special request
My boundaries around this post:
Please no ‘advice’ on grief or grieving or questions about death and reasons for dying, that just does not feel good.
I am sharing this post to answer the many messages I have been getting for which I wholeheartedly appreciate.
