07/01/2026
The Body Keeps the Score
Recently, I received an apology from someone connected to a situation that deeply hurt me many years ago.
Something about this connection stirred me. Not because I want to reopen old wounds, but because my body remembered what my mind had long learned to live around.
The apology was partial. Some of the harm was named, some wasn’t. And it brought up something I know many women experience but rarely talk about, the confusion that arises when someone reaches out long after the damage was done.
If you are someone who tends to fawn, minimise, or doubt your own worth, moments like this can feel destabilising.
You might wonder:
Am I meant to accept this?
Am I being unkind if I don’t?
Should I explain myself?
Should I reassure them?
Was it really that bad?
Here is what I want you to know.
An apology does not require your forgiveness.
An apology does not require your emotional labour.
An apology does not erase harm that was never acknowledged.
And you are allowed to trust your body’s response, even years later.
Sometimes people apologise because they have grown.
Sometimes they apologise because guilt wants relief.
Sometimes they still cannot fully face the impact of their actions.
You do not have to decide which is true in order to honour yourself.
One of the most powerful things you can do, especially if you struggle with low self-worth, is to respond inwardly first.
Write the reply you will never send.
Name what actually happened.
Let your nervous system complete the story.
You are not obliged to be gracious at the expense of your truth.
Strength does not always look like confrontation.
Sometimes it looks like quiet clarity.
Sometimes it looks like saying nothing at all.
If this resonates, let it be a reminder:
You are allowed to take your time.
You are allowed to feel what you feel.
You are allowed to choose yourself now, even if you couldn’t then.
This is not about holding grudges.
It’s about restoring dignity.
You deserve that. x