08/11/2025
Sometimes moving through relationships - the ones that end, evolve, or simply shift - feels like experiencing multiple small deaths. Each one asks us to shed another layer of ego, another story of who we thought we were, or who we thought we’d be together.
Another dear soul brought me flowers yesterday 🌸, a beautiful friend offered her ear, her shoulder, and coffee as a buffer for my heart, and I’ve had so many people just check in with me because they know and feel how tough this time is for us all - and I can’t thank you all enough for seeing and holding me in the ways I need to be held right now.
I’ve just realised that I’m approaching the 29th anniversary of my boyfriend and our friends’ deaths - we lost them in a car accident. We were all so young, making promises about the next 30 years and the lives we’d build. I hadn’t noticed until this week how deeply that timeline has been resting in my bones. For so long after, this taught me not to get too close with anyone as it can all be taken away so quickly, yet now I have a tendency to jump in both feet first because this life is precious and I want to feel it all. Whilst there could be a middle ground, morally I feel no reason to hold anything back if I am being authentic to my core, I am still learning which energies to cross paths with in this and know that’s ok too🔥
So here I am - grieving, reflecting, shedding, living and still giving thanks for all these lessons.
Thank you, universe, friends, and fam, for keeping this wheel turning.
For holding me steady as I remember, release, and keep becoming.
🎧 This music was played at my boyfriends remembrance service, it was one of our favourite tracks at the time in our friendship group 💫