04/12/2025
It’s about time I shared Charley’s fantastic birth story, seeing as she has graduated from mum and baby yoga and returns to work today 🫣 After a high blood loss in her first pregnancy, Charley navigated her second pregnancy like a star - letting go of her preferred birth, refusing to go along with options that she didn’t want and putting a lot of effort into her birth prep. With the right knowledge and support, this story shows that an amazing birth is still possible even when you are classed as high risk.
Thank you for sharing Charley, you and Sammy will be missed at mum and baby yoga, especially all of his smiles! Charley writes:
My first birth, five years previously, was a water birth at Darent Valley birth centre following a low risk pregnancy. That birth went well, until the second stage. I had panicked because I’d read that if baby’s heart rate couldn’t be detected for a period of time you’d have to come out of the pool so they could put one of the other monitors on. I was ‘uneducated’ to a point I suppose. I was also pushing for quite a while, I kept ‘sucking him back up’ as his head was crowning, then going back. Because of this, and not wanting to get out of the water, I panicked and just thought, ‘go for it because you’re going to get asked to get out if you don’t push him out now’. I was told to push but not to birth him, more like guided pushing with my surges. My midwives were brilliant but the birth resulted in a 3C tear and 4 litre blood loss. After the birth I had to be blue lighted to hospital for surgery.
For my second birth I really wanted a home birth, but most midwives strongly advised me to have an elective c section. A really supportive and understanding obstetrician at Darent Valley, who listened to my preferences eventually signed me off to go to the birth centre.
I can be stubborn and controlling, so it took my obstetrician to explain to me that the amount of blood I lost the first time meant that I could’ve died, for me to realise how serious it was and why she really advised me not to have a home birth. But she was brilliant in really listening to me and we came to an agreed compromise with the birth centre and that I’d agree to be transferred ASAP if I had a repeat of last time or at the very first signs of blood loss.
Leading up to Sammy’s birth, I’d done a lot of walking in the week. It was my first week of maternity leave and so I’d been making sure I was out and about keeping busy but resting in the evenings.
On Thursday, I said to my husband something felt different. I was getting sharp pains in my left groin area and a few different feelings in my belly, plus baby was more active than usual. That evening, I didn’t sleep well, I think I saw every hour because of how uncomfortable I felt, tossing and turning.
I arranged to spend the next day at my mums just incase, but arranged to meet my friend for a walk round Kelsey park in the morning first. Whilst driving there, I felt a tightening across my belly and when walking I got two more, they very minimal pain wise. We sat and had a coffee and I got two more – so we decided it was time for me to head back to my mums.
I got back to my mums around 12:30, the contractions started to get a bit more frequent so we left at 2:40 and headed back to mine so I could be at home. Got back to mine by 3 and I rang the hospital soon after to let them know as they were coming every 8-10 minutes and lasting around 30 seconds; they said to call back when they were a minute in length and five minutes apart. I just stayed bouncing on my physio ball and breathing through each contraction, watching horse racing and then league of their own for the laughs.
My husband got back from work at 5:15pm and by that point the contractions were coming every 3-4 minutes and lasting around 45-90 seconds. I stayed on my ball, bouncing and breathing, in-visioning a party blower with each one. I called the birth centre back and said I was going to head in as I didn’t want to leave it too late. Every time I got off my ball, they were a lot more intense.
In the car, I began using a comb for pain relief , again I still felt like they were manageable with my breathing. We got to the car park and Ross ran in to get me a wheelchair, by the time we got to the birth centre it was 7pm and the contractions were even more frequent and much more intense. We went into a room and I was examined, the midwife said, ‘you’ve managed to do it again – you’re 9cm dilated!’
They wheeled me round to a room and quickly began filling the pool up and offered me gas and air which I gladly took at this point. As she was fitting my cannula (a precaution based on my last birth) I heard her say, ‘she’s going to have this baby before I get this cannula in’ (I knew it was imminent!). I looked at the time it was 7:48, by the time I got into the pool it was 7:56 and I immediately began having intense contractions and feelings to push as soon as my belly hit the water.
With three big pushes along with the midwives guidance and the gas and air, Sammy was born at 8:04 – 7 minutes after getting in the water.
Once I’d come down from the gas and air and they passed him to me I immediately looked at the water – it was clear!!
They gave me plenty of ‘golden hour’ time with baby after, we stayed in the pool for about 20 minutes before I then got out and deep breathed my placenta out. I had a tiny internal tear and lost 140ml of blood rather than 4L. Once my placenta was out we were covered in towels and enjoyed our hot chocolate and toast before I was able to have a shower and we spent the night on the ward.
All of the midwives were incredibly supportive and understanding and aware of all of my preferences! Both boys were born the day before their ‘due dates’, so 39+6? Sidney was 7lb 6oz and Sammy was 7lb 5oz – so gestation and baby’s size were not the cause of the tear or blood loss the first time round.
I believe the difference this time was three things: confidence and knowledge and preparation.
I prepared my body with pregnancy yoga and relaxation techniques. I worked on my breath work frequently in pregnancy and this got me through all of my contractions until I had the gas and air. It still gets me through pain now!
I was more confident in knowing what was available to me, I made sure I knew my options and I knew what I was willing to accept and not. I was able to push back and refuse a c-section, but was able to explore other options with my supportive obstetrician. Her words were ‘every woman deserves to have a chance to birth they way they wish’ and for this day and age, I couldn’t have wished for more.
