Not So Typical Counselling

27/03/2026

I hope this is true! 🤣
https://www.facebook.com/share/p/1PGt6c2TfQ/

A study from the University of Exeter suggests using googly eyes on takeaway boxes can deter seagulls from stealing your chips. Learn more: https://bbc.in/40VCLw1

25/03/2026

Surprisingly committed to autism is my new favourite phrase! 🤣
https://www.facebook.com/share/p/1DCkWbYBJE/

25/03/2026

Yet again, SEND children are being excluded.

24/03/2026

Am I the only one who gets confused with these?!
It says to select all the cars, but there's one which looks like an SUV, so to me, that's not a car it's an SUV so it doesn't count. But that's the wrong answer!
I usually have to do 3 or 4 before I appease the internet security systems. 🤦🏻‍♀️

10/03/2026

Recently there has been a lot of discussion following comments from Uta Frith suggesting that the widening of autism diagnosis has made the label less meaningful. I think that it is important to be aware of opinons for all sides of the debate, else you risk living in an echo chamber. https://www.tes.com/magazine/teaching-learning/general/uta-frith-interview-autism-not-spectrum

As both a counsellor working with neurodivergent clients and a psychology student currently writing about diagnostic frameworks, I’ve been thinking about this debate quite a lot.

In psychology there is a growing movement to move away from diagnostic labels altogether. Psychologists such as Peter Kinderman and Lucy Johnstone have been influential in questioning the traditional diagnostic model used in psychiatry. Instead, they advocate approaches such as the Power Threat Meaning Framework, which shifts the question from “What’s wrong with you?” to “What has happened to you?” and “How have you made sense of it?” Here's a link to the PTMF, https://www.bps.org.uk/member-networks/division-clinical-psychology/power-threat-meaning-framework

From a psychological perspective, there are some compelling reasons to rethink diagnostic labels. Labels can reduce complex human experiences into categories and can sometimes obscure the social, relational, and environmental factors that shape distress.

However, the situation becomes much more complicated when we look at autism in the real world.

In practice, diagnostic labels are often the gateway to support. Without a diagnosis, many people struggle to access educational accommodations, workplace adjustments, or specialist services. At the same time, autistic people continue to face significant structural barriers. For example, research consistently shows that autistic adults experience some of the lowest employment rates of any disability group.

In my work with clients, I rarely see people seeking an autism diagnosis lightly. For many, it follows years of confusion, masking, burnout, or feeling fundamentally misunderstood. The label can provide a framework for understanding their experiences and a language that allows them to advocate for themselves.

So while psychology may be moving toward models that emphasise context and meaning rather than diagnosis, we have to ask an important question: what happens if the label disappears but the barriers remain?

If diagnostic categories are reduced or dismissed without meaningful changes to how support is provided, we risk leaving people in a worse position, without labels that unlock support, but still facing the same social and structural challenges.

This debate also connects to what Lucy Johnstone has described as the neurodiversity paradox: as recognition of neurodivergence grows, so too does the tension between medical diagnosis and social understandings of difference. Here's a link to the first part of four, but be warned, it's not an easy read https://www.madintheuk.com/2024/12/part-1-neurodiversity-what-exactly-does-it-mean/

Perhaps the real question is not whether autism should be defined more narrowly or more broadly, but how we create systems that support neurodivergent people regardless of where they fall within a diagnostic boundary.

And crucially, those conversations must involve autistic people themselves.

Because ultimately, decisions about autism and all aspects of neurodiversity should follow a simple principle: nothing about us without us.

05/03/2026

The Autistic “Why” Isn’t Resistance, It’s Sense-Making

If I understand why something needs to be done a certain way, I can get on board with it. If I don’t understand, my brain keeps trying to fill in the gaps.

Research shows many autistic people experience higher intolerance of uncertainty, meaning unclear instructions can increase anxiety and reduce focus. Asking questions isn’t about being awkward. It’s often a regulation strategy.

There’s also a sequencing issue: one piece needs to make sense before the next can settle. If you interrupt that process, it can feel genuinely destabilising.

And when “why?” gets misread as confrontation, that’s often a double empathy issue, a mismatch in interpretation, not intention.

it may be useful to say: “It helps me to understand the reasoning so I can implement it properly.”

For managers / family, lead with the reason. You’ll probably get fewer questions overall.

Curiosity is engagement.

Where does the “why” show up for you?

25/02/2026

I wanted to share my husband's challenge to raise money for the Royal Marines Charity. He's trying to raise a pound for every day he served in the Royal Marines Band Service and the Royal Navy.
You can also follow his progress, and all the crazy challenges he's set himself and if you're able donate to the cause by the link he's put in the comments.
The RMC have been amazing and quick at putting in support for us all.
PTSD is something that sneaks into your life when you aren't looking. The effects of trauma colour everything in the whole family's life.
I'm so proud of him for not only getting the support, but also raising money and awareness of PTSD. The more people who speak about their experience, the more it becomes OK to say "I'm not OK".

A Royal Navy veteran has set himself a mammoth challenge to raise funds for the Royal Marines Charity.

25/02/2026

I watched the latest episode of The Great Pottery Throw Down last night and I was really moved by Bill's work. His self sculpture was of him as 13 year old autistic child who didn't fit in and use to wrtie "I can't do it".
It really resonated with me, not only from my own experience, but that of my daughter and many other neurodivergent children and adults I have got to know. Here's the link to Bill describing his work.
https://www.facebook.com/share/r/14WnzfdonTr/

24/02/2026

I haven't had chance to read everything about the new SEND paper. What I have seen is that the local authority will grant EHCP's to only the most complex of cases, and that schools will be responsible for everything else and it won't be a legally binding document like the EHCP.
That concerns me that the schools will effectively be marking their own homework, who will they be accountable to when parents or the child says the school aren't meeting their needs?
If there's no accountability, my concern is that even more children will not be able to cope with this rigid system and more parents will have to advocate hard, or quit their job to home educate.

No one is connecting the dots on SEND. More and more children need extra support with school - but that doesn’t mean there’s anything wrong with our children. The problem is a school system that lacks flexibility, and which can’t accommodate the many different ways in which children learn and develop. The problem is a system which sees 'behaviour' as something to be punished, rather than feedback on a situation that isn't working.

We have a school system that prioritises test results over developmental needs, that favours control over autonomy and in which there is little time and space for meaningful relationships between adults and children. It turns too many children into failures, measuring them against a narrow academic benchmark. It punishes them for minor misdemeanours and teaches them that learning is mostly about doing what you’re told. It prioritises attendance over meaningful engagement.

Then when children show us that this doesn’t work, we say there’s something wrong with them. We say they need to attend more, try harder, put more effort in. And when that doesn’t work, then the system says they must have SEND, because why else would they need something different?

Of course SEND costs are rising, because the school system isn’t fit for the children it serves. We need an education system that start the goal of with providing what children need to thrive, not with ‘driving up standards’ or ‘100% attendance’.

More play for the younger ones. More autonomy for the older ones. More diversity of opportunity. More focus on relationships. And an emphasis on interest-led learning and finding purpose, rather than on tests and exams. It's not rocket science.

For the more you put the pressure on to get those standards up, the more of our children are squashed in the process.

24/02/2026

I see this with many of my midlife female clients. They don't fit the traditional view of what ADHD is "supposed" to look like. They're often misdiagnosed, or even worse, not believed as they are considered to be high achieving.
This is an area which need much more research and attention! I hope the GP's attending will listen and put it into their practice.