The Rambling Psychotherapist

The Rambling Psychotherapist Supporting you to thrive and create a life for yourself which honours and meets your full potential!
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It is World Kindness Day today.When we think about kindness, most people jump to thoughts about random acts of generosit...
13/11/2025

It is World Kindness Day today.

When we think about kindness, most people jump to thoughts about random acts of generosity, helping people out and being generally nice to others, but this isn't always what *kind* looks like.

Here's a POV that many people struggle with -

Sometimes kindness can mean setting fair but clear boundaries with someone, or communicating something difficult or challenging to convey your care.

When fear leads you to avoid having honest conversations in relationship, it creates a distance between you and the other person. When you don't speak about what is happening between you, an obstacle to loving connection is created. This is not 'kind'.

Choosing to communicate something challenging to someone, which is of mutual benefit to your relationship, in a way which takes into consideration their feelings, is kind even if the other person doesn't respond positively.

Kindness isn't as black and white an issue as you might be led to believe.

What are your thoughts on this?

Let me know in the comments ๐Ÿ”ฝ

Anti-bullying week kicks off today with the annual event Odd Socks Day.This easy-to-participate-in event is designed to ...
10/11/2025

Anti-bullying week kicks off today with the annual event Odd Socks Day.

This easy-to-participate-in event is designed to raise awareness of the impacts of bullying and spark conversations, so together we can work towards reducing bullying in all areas of life.

Thousands of people in the UK are subjected to bullying every year. It has a huge impact! It can undermine your sense of safety, leave you feeling isolated and can totally wreck your self-esteem, both at the time that the bullying is taking place and often, way beyond when the bullying ends. It can totally destroy lives.

Undoing the impacts of bullying can be really intricate work because bullying is traumatic.

As with all trauma, it can take time and good support to rebuild trust in the world, learn to maintain a solid sense of self in relation to others, establish and maintain healthy boundaries, and regain positive feelings of self-worth.

People who have been bullied can hold lots of feelings of shame for not having handled the situation in a way they feel satisfied with, and shame can undermine a lot of recovery work. So, when working with people who have been bullied, we first look at coming to terms with the fact that they did what they had to do in that situation, in order to survive it. This first building block of self-acceptance sets a solid foundation on which to rebuild your life.

The Anti-Bullying Alliance has some amazing advice on their website for if you are being bullied, or you are supporting someone who is. Go check them out.

If you would like some support to recover from your experience of bullying, get in contact. Email me at rachel@ramblingpsychotherapist.co.uk to book a discovery call, and let's have a chat about working together.

06/11/2025

Being shouted at activates our threat system (for everyone). Depending on the context, our sensitivity level (the level of sensory stimulation we can process easily), and our historical experience, it can catapult us into a full-on fight, flight, freeze, fawn or flop response.

Now, I don't know about you, but if I am trying to convey a message about my hurt or distress to someone whose actions or words have impacted me, I am usually hoping that they will be able to step into their empathy and we might be able to work out how the situation might be made better, together. I do not want to be faced with someone who is having a fight response, storming off, shutting down, or just saying what they think I want to hear; that feels very counterintuitive.

Similarly, if I am feeling joyful or jubilant, I don't want someone to respond fearfully; I want them to share in my joy.

So why on earth would I shout my message?

Now, don't get me wrong, I am a human with a functioning nervous system; there are definitely occasions on which my temper has flared and I have shouted. So, I am not suggesting that I have my sh*t together all the time when it comes to this, but I do think working on healthy communication is always of benefit in our relationships.

Shouting is only ever useful if you actually want to raise an alarm! That is when you want someone's nervous system to kick in with a survival response.

World Let's Stop Shouting Day aims to raise awareness of the profound impact that shouting has on relationships, as well as on both our physical and mental health. The discomfort of being shouted at is something everyone recognises, and the distress it causes those who shout is equally overwhelming.

By choosing to communicate calmly, we create a more welcoming world for everyone.

Fire - so many people love it. I mean, I for one love to sit by a warming fire or gaze into the flame of a candle. But w...
05/11/2025

Fire - so many people love it. I mean, I for one love to sit by a warming fire or gaze into the flame of a candle. But why does it hold such a tender place in our hearts?

Apart from the fact that we have inherited knowledge from our ancestors that fire supports us in staying safe, warm, and well-fed, we have also come to use fire as a symbolic component in many of our rituals, ceremonies, and celebrations.

Archaeological evidence suggests that the use of fire in ceremonies can be traced back to at least 3000BCE and the Vedic Civilisation in India. These people believed that Agni, the fire deity, was a divine messenger who conveyed offerings from the earthly realm to the celestial realm, thereby serving as a bridge between humans and the divine.

Fire was also acknowledged for its power to transform. It came to represent the divine present on earth, a power that can convert solid matter into energy, and a living entity with the ability to purify energies.

These beliefs have been carried forward, absorbed, and transformed by many cultures since that time, and we can still see their remnants in our modern-day rituals and ceremonies. For example, we may light a candle when we lose a loved one to carry a message to them in spirit, or we may use the power of fire to burn a statement of intent to let something go or symbolise an ending. And for the spiritual or religious among us, fire is still used as an enduring method for connecting us with the divine and cleansing our spirit (whichever divinity you may choose to converse with). Even our current-day bonfire night celebrations have their roots in religious conflict.

In therapy too, we sometimes use the symbolism and metaphor of fire as a transformative medium (and sometimes in my outdoor work, we use actual fire for this purpose). It can be a powerful vehicle in creating supportive change in life.

So, as you warm yourself by a massive pyre and watch the night sky lit up by pretty sparkles this week, just have a think about your relationship with fire. It could mean more to you than you think!

Despite progress in mental health awareness and overall improvements in financial literacy across Britain, discussing mo...
03/11/2025

Despite progress in mental health awareness and overall improvements in financial literacy across Britain, discussing money remains something that many people find challenging to do.

It seems to remain one of our last greatest taboos. Due to current societal attitudes and beliefs, as well as early conditioning around money, people can be fearful of stress, conflict, and disconnection in relationships when contemplating discussing financial matters.

The irony being that keeping silent often results in all of the above becoming a reality.

This disconnect can leave people vulnerable and unsupported and can contribute to developing financial issues that further add to the stress load.

This week is Talk Money Week, an annual campaign aimed at encouraging people to start talking about money. Research suggests that breaking the taboo of talking about money will help support hundreds of thousands of people in avoiding financial distress.

Did you know that cowrie shells were used as a form of ancient currency? Humans have handed over tokens which hold a representative value in exchange for goods for millennia now. Maybe it's time we got over this issue of talking about it.

If you find it challenging to talk about topics that you fear might provoke conflict or rejection, let's have a chat and see if working together to help you change that for yourself might be supportive for you.

Email me at rachel@ramblingpsychotherapist.co.uk to book a discovery call.

It's Samhain today (Halloween/Calan Gaeaf). This is the Celtic festival which marks the official transition from the har...
31/10/2025

It's Samhain today (Halloween/Calan Gaeaf). This is the Celtic festival which marks the official transition from the harvest season into the dark half of the year. The Celtic new year starts on 1st November.

Traditionally, it is believed that the veil between the spirit world, and the world in which we live grows thin at this time, bringing us closer to those who have gone before us.

This powerful festival offers us an opportunity to connect with our ancestors, reflect on the cycle of life & death, and embrace the transformative energy of the season (think death and rebirth).

It's a time for reviewing the year, giving thanks, honouring those who have passed, and letting go of anything which no longer serves you.

Celebrations include the setting up of alters to honour our departed loved ones, and gathering together with friends, family and/or community around the fire to share food and exchange stories of what has transpired (the fire represents the light which we know will return as the wheel of the year continues to turn).

Whatever your belief system, this festival offers another opportunity in the year to pause and reflect. When you slow down and pay fuller attention to your world, your awareness grows, and you can make more conscious and life affirming choices moving forwards.

Try these journal prompts as a starting point:

๐ŸŽƒ It's well documented that we can inherit beliefs and patterns of behaviour from our ancestors, and it is possible for these to get passed down through the generations. The focus tends to be on the limits that these place on us, but these things are not always limiting. I invite you to spend some time now contemplating the beliefs and behaviours you have inherited and how these might limit and support you.
๐ŸŽƒ Samhain asks us to truly acknowledge death. This is the time when things die back, to make space for new life to be born. Face into this, gaze into your own inner darkness. Listen to what it has to tell you, and you will discover parts of yourself you want to let go of in order to grow & evolve. What do you need to let go of in this moment, to enable your future growth. What will future generations inherit from you?

People think that turning up to therapy is what will make things better. In reality though, therapy is the act of diggin...
28/10/2025

People think that turning up to therapy is what will make things better. In reality though, therapy is the act of digging into the compost to see what is there and deciding what to do about it. The work of alchemy, turning rot into something which nourishes, is where the change is found. This bit of the work is most often done outside of the therapy room.

I love this poem by that describes the alchemical process of change beautifully:

Composting -
We call it letting go,
as if the work were soft-
a gentle unhanding,
a sigh into the dark.

But really, it is labour.
Elbow-deep in what once was,
rolling up sleeves,
turning what we thought was finished
into the start of something fertile.

Rot is not surrender.
It is participation.
The slow alchemy of apple cores, heartbreak,
old selves and half-remembered dreams-
each softened by rain,
each broken open by time.

To compost is to stay.
To lean close when it smells of endings,
and know that endings are only
the earthโ€™s way of rearranging life.

So I do not โ€œlet go.โ€
I kneel.
I dig my hands into the heat of decay
and whisper thanks to the worms
for their silent teachings.

This is how I make peace with change:
not by release,
but by return,
by trusting that the work of rot
is the work of love,
and that what I tend here,
beneath my nails and grief,
will one day feed me again.

The clocks go back this tonight ๐ŸŒœ๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ›Evidence is showing that this means so much more than just an extra hour in bed. Rece...
25/10/2025

The clocks go back this tonight ๐ŸŒœ๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ›

Evidence is showing that this means so much more than just an extra hour in bed. Recent studies suggest that this shift in schedule on a twice yearly basis can have a detrimental impact on our health.

We all have a body clock inside of us which follows a natural rhythm (our circadian rhythm). This rhythm shapes physical, mental and behavioural changes in us that follow a 24-hour cycle and it regulates things like alertness, sleepiness, appetite and mood.

Shifting our sleep/wake times by as little as one hour on an ongoing basis, can have a dramatic impact on our circadian rhythm, and can result in low energy levels, disrupted sleep, dysregulated appetite, and wildly fluctuating or low mood.

To add to this, as we experience increased hours of darkness through the autumn and winter months, we can also find our mood plummets further, fatigue increases and we can also experience an increase in muscle pain and weakened bones due to a lack of vitamin D from exposure to sunlight.

To top it all off, recent studies show that disruption to habitual sleep patterns also has a profound affect on cardiovascular health.

What can you do if you find yourself impacted by the clock change?

๐ŸŒž The main thing you can do is make sure you get some exposure to natural light every day. Our circadian rhythms are highly influenced by this. Try to get outside every morning, as early as you can after the sun has risen and aim to get 20-30 mins of light exposure. For an even more impactful light prescription, try to get out for a similar period of time as dusk approaches too.

๐ŸŒœ Establishing a standard sleep and wake time and sticking to it can help you to adjust more quickly to the change. Avoiding caffeine and other stimulants past midday, and avoiding electronic light stimulation in the evening can all help you to drop off more easily and get a more restful night.

๐ŸŒž Consider layering in some extra self-care strategies to help you regulate your mood more effectively and get better sleep. Breathwork would always be my primary go to for this, because it's simple and easy to incorporate into your schedule.

It's been a little while since I introduced myself and as I've had a few new followers lately I thought it only polite t...
22/10/2025

It's been a little while since I introduced myself and as I've had a few new followers lately I thought it only polite to swing by and say hi, welcome.

I'm Rachel aka the Rambling Psychotherapist.

Psychotherapist isn't just a job title for me, it's not what I do, it's part of who I am. I am passionate to my very core about supporting people to find a way to come into full expression, and build for themselves a satisfying life. More importantly I know that psychotherapy can be a powerful part of that process for so many people.

And the rambling part? Well, I do love a good chat, but that is not really what it refers to. A lot of what causes us psychological pain (and sometimes even physical pain) is the level of disconnection we perceive we have at any given time from the people, places and experiences we want to be close to at. Despite the power of technology and the promise it makes of better connection, we are generally more disconnected now than we have ever been, and our lack of connection extends massively to the natural world too.

By taking therapy into the outdoors and supporting people to work out how to reconnect, to themselves, to others and to the world around them, in a way that feels supportive and nourishing, I believe the potency of therapy is enhanced. For this reason, a portion of my client spaces are reserved for working in person, in beautiful outdoor settings.

My belief is not founded solely in theory, but in experience too. I am a firm advocate of walking my talk, so not only am I journeying with you in therapy, but I am on my own journey too.

And, just to evidence my commitment, here's a picture of me, in the wee small hours of the morning, on one of my daily jaunts into the natural world to work on maintaining my connection.

If you'd like to explore the idea of working together, give me a shout. Email me at rachel@ramblingpsychotherapist.co.uk to book in a discovery chat.

Can we please stop separating physical health from mental health and just start talking about the things we need to do i...
16/10/2025

Can we please stop separating physical health from mental health and just start talking about the things we need to do in order to maintain good overall health.

On World Food Day, I think it is important to remind you that the food we eat has a massive impact on both our physical and mental health. Countless studies have shown that the variety of bacteria in our gut has a massive impact on how healthy. or not, our immune function is, but also on our mood and our perceptions of the world around us.

Now, I am no nutritionist (check out Lisey Schokker Nutrition for more expert advice on eating for good mental health), but I do know that having a healthy gut microbiome is founded on eating a wide variety of foods, particularly those with high fibre content (plants), and very little in the way of processed and ultra-processed products.

If you want to be physically well and/or you want to tackle your anxiety/depression - the food you eat matters!

Don't be like the sparrow - eat the rainbow, not just beige!

Okay, pep talk over for today ๐Ÿฅฆ๐ŸŽ๐Ÿฅ‘๐Ÿ‰๐Ÿฅฌ๐ŸŒถ๐Ÿ‹๐Ÿฅ•

When times are hard, the people that love us often want to help relieve our discomfort.So, we regularly find ourselves f...
14/10/2025

When times are hard, the people that love us often want to help relieve our discomfort.

So, we regularly find ourselves faced with the question 'What can I do to help?'

For a good swathe of the population this might not seem like a difficult question to answer, but for anyone who has learned to ignore their own needs in favour of other people's, it can feel impossible to provide the information which is being requested.

If you find yourself getting stuck when asked a question like this, try some of the following questions which might help you to get unstuck:

๐Ÿ‚If I wasnโ€™t worried about bothering someone else, what would I ask for?

๐Ÿ‚What would I offer someone close to me, if they were feeling how I do right now?

๐Ÿ‚Would any of these feel good right now? - Comfort, clarity, space, support?

๐Ÿ‚What is making my body feel tense or uncomfortable right now and is there anything which will help relieve that?

๐Ÿ‚What eases things for a while? Certain foods, a blanket, a walk, company, a favourite TV show?

And if you'd like to get better at knowing what you want and need in the long term, why not book a discovery call to see whether working together might be helpful.

A couple of spaces have freed up recently in my regular appointment schedule, so email me today at rachel@ramblingpsychotherapist.co.uk to book in a chat.

For some people โ€˜coming outโ€™ can be an exciting process. For others it can be full of  challenge and difficulty. It can ...
10/10/2025

For some people โ€˜coming outโ€™ can be an exciting process. For others it can be full of challenge and difficulty. It can also be a combination of the two.

It may not be a one-off event either (in fact this is the case for a lot of people) but something you do many times during your life.

There's one thing for certain though - it helps to be able to talk things through with someone, to have someone who is willing to journey with you through both the good and the bad, whichever may come.

It can also be really supportive to talk things through after the event, particularly if you've had a challenging time of it. This can support you to process some of the hurtful experience and build your resources to support ease in your life moving forwards.

Give me a shout if you think you'd like to explore.

Email me at rachel@ramblingpsychotherapist.co.uk to book in a discovery call.

Happy Coming out Day tomorrow ๐Ÿณ๏ธโ€๐ŸŒˆ

Address

Leeds

Opening Hours

Monday 11am - 8pm
Tuesday 11am - 8pm
Wednesday 11am - 5pm
Thursday 11am - 5pm
Friday 11am - 5pm

Website

https://ramblingpsychotherapist.co.uk/index.php/courses/

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