12/11/2021
Please let’s be more Autism and Neurodiverse aware…
“When I walk into the school and go to greet my friends, everybody says hi, and some, in order to start a conversation, ask “How are you?”
“Fine, how about you?”, I reply, smiling, without missing a beat.
You wouldn’t guess that my mind is racing at a hundred miles per second.
How am I actually? Depressed and done with life? Tired because I slept for like three hours? Happy about that thing that happened yesterday? Stressed because I have a presentation to do? Pi**ed off and wanting to kill everybody? How about all of these simultaneously? Wait, does that even work?
You wouldn’t guess that I’m mentally checking off items on a list.
Say I’m fine. Check. Make brief eye contact. Check. Smile. Check. Return the question. Check. Keep up the smile until they’ve replied. Check. Remember to look like you’re paying attention to them and only them. Check. Take on a warm and inviting body language. Check.
You wouldn’t guess that I’m analyzing them the whole time.
They say they’re fine, but they’re wrapping their arms around themselves. That’s a sign of discomfort. Wait, they’re looking away. Do they not want to talk to me after all? They’re tapping their feet, it looks like something is stressing them out. No, wait, that’s just a habit of theirs. They do it no matter what. But they keep their head at a slightly lower angle than usual. Something’s gotta be bothering them. Should I ask or just let it go?
You wouldn’t guess that I’m constantly going over what I just said.
Was my intonation right? Was it too stoic? Did I remember to return the question? I always forget to return the question. Does my smile look natural? Should I keep smiling? It seems like everybody is constantly smiling, but why the f**k would I smile 24/7? Wait, I need to stop crossing my arms, that looks uninviting. Hold on, did I choose the right words?
You wouldn’t guess that I’m autistic, because on the outside I look perfectly normal, but what comes naturally to most people takes a conscious effort for me, ALL THE TIME.”
Jesse J - via Quora (3yrs ago)
