04/12/2025
The problem with change, is that we have to do it.
A couple of weeks ago I taught someone I have worked with for a long time. Even as she walked in, I could sense things were different in her. And her horse was more than able to tell the story of change - his expression was happy and interested; rather than frustrated and defensive.
As soon as she started doing some things with him, everything was different. It was probably one of the most exponential changes I have ever witnessed. I asked her what had happened and she said she just got tired of hearing the same things in lessons, over and over. From me, and from every other teacher she encountered. In her case the message was pretty simple. For the sake of every horse, get clearer. Be more effective.
She was a gold star student in being soft. Being quiet, being gentle. She is a sensitive human and a lovely rider. But these qualities can't exist in isolation, otherwise you are limiting the conversation to a very small range.
This - of course - does not mean you need to be aggressive or angry. But what could be seen is that horses were often left in a vacuum by her. Where ARE you? What do you MEAN?
With some horses this just resulted in things getting a bit woolly and their understanding diminished or didn't progress. In her own horses case, he got cross. He could not stick that feeling from her. I don't believe horses are sent to us for a reason (amazingly, we are not the center of the universe), but sometimes one comes along which is well timed. In this instance, he was the perfect teacher.
Therefore, in order to meet her horse where he was, she took a long hard look at the thing she found came least naturally to her and decided to address it. A way of being she found the hardest to be, and had the least desire to practice. And she practiced it. I take my hat off to her (and then put it back on because it's bloody freezing).
Because, what many of us do instead (myself included) is just keep practicing more of the same. Or gathering acres of information, going to clinic after clinic, having hundreds of lessons, and resolutely not addressing that elephant in the corner of the arena - the thing we need to actually change. It's why we plateau, despite the hours we put in. It's why we keep getting the same results even though we know we are 'trying really hard'.
And it's also why early next year we are going to be running an online coaching course for horse riders and owners, because seeing these kind of changes is what keeps me inspired as a teacher, I love it. Thanks for the inspiration young Jedi, your horse is also delighted.