Tom Phillips Clinical Hypnotherapy

09/12/2025

🎄 Surviving Christmas tip #9 - Say “No” Without Explaining
Most people drown during December not because they do too little, but because they agree to too much.

A powerful Christmas skill is the ability to say “No” and then stop talking.
You don’t need to justify, defend, or apologise.
You don’t need to offer a story, an excuse, or a full TED Talk.

“No, I can’t do that.”
That sentence is already complete.
When you start explaining, you invite debate.
When you stay firm and concise, people adapt.

Why this matters for stress & anxiety
Every unnecessary “yes” drains your energy, shortens your fuse, and ramps up your nervous system.
Saying “no” cleanly is an act of emotional regulation.
It protects your time, your boundaries, and your calm.

Practical step:
When someone asks for something you can’t (or don’t want to) do, try this script:

“Thanks for asking, but I won’t be able to.”
(Pause. Smile. Change the subject.)

The pause is the key.
It signals confidence, ends negotiation, and teaches your brain that it’s safe to protect your boundaries.
This Christmas, let “no” be a complete sentence and give yourself permission to keep your peace.

08/12/2025

08/12/2025

Ever wondered why your brain sometimes acts like you're about to be chased by a psycho through "The Asda?"

Here's why and 1 simple tip you can use to CALM THE F**K DOWN!

08/12/2025

Surviving Christmas tip #8 - Reduce your mental load creep.

When your brain feels “full” even though nothing’s actually wrong.

Here’s why it happens:
Your mind keeps holding tasks, reminders, half-finished thoughts, and worries in working memory.
Even tiny things: “email Sarah,” “buy bin bags,” “prep Tuesday’s session”, stack up.
That invisible weight is mental load creep. You don’t notice it building until you suddenly feel overwhelmed.

The Fix: Write it down. Seriously.
The moment you capture tasks on paper (or Notes, or Todoist), your brain stops trying to juggle them.

Why it works:
You reduce cognitive load.
You lower background anxiety because nothing relies on memory.
You create clarity, which your nervous system reads as safety.
You stop catastrophising because the “pile” becomes visible and manageable.

Practical step:
Take 90 seconds.
Dump everything that’s on your mind — personal, work, random, stupid, all of it.
Then:
Delete what’s irrelevant.
Do the 2-minute tasks.
Delegate what doesn’t belong to you.
Schedule what matters.

That 90 seconds often removes more stress than an hour of overthinking.

07/12/2025

Come on John Henry! Make it happen!

07/12/2025

🎄Surviving Christmas #7.
Manage caffeine, alcohol and sugar.

All three of these act like fuel for anxiety. Caffeine ramps up your heart rate and overstimulates your nervous system. Alcohol can feel relaxing in the moment but rebounding anxiety is almost guaranteed. It disrupts sleep, affects blood sugar levels, and amplifies stress the next day. And sugar? Quick highs followed by a crash that leaves your body feeling tense, irritable, and on edge.

Most people don’t realise how sensitive the nervous system becomes during December: broken routines, busier schedules, late nights, and heightened social pressure all make you more reactive than usual.

That means the things your body might tolerate in June hit harder in December.
Practical steps:

Alternate alcoholic drinks with water to keep your system steady and avoid the next-day anxiety spike.

Set a caffeine cut-off time, such as 2pm, to protect your sleep and keep your nervous system calm.

Choose slow-release snacks (nuts, oats, fruit) when you can — they keep your blood sugar stable and stop those anxiety-triggering crashes.

A few tiny adjustments here can dramatically reduce that wired-and-tired Christmas feeling.

06/12/2025

🎄 Surviving Christmas tip #6 - Create a “Calm Cue”

A calm cue is a tiny, repeatable physical action that you intentionally train your brain to associate with relaxation. Over time, it becomes a personal off switch for stress, something you can use discreetly, anywhere, even in the middle of family chaos or a crowded shopping centre.

When you pair a small physical movement with a calming breath or thought repeatedly, your nervous system learns the pattern. Eventually, the cue works on its own. This is classic conditioning: you’re teaching your brain, “When I do this, I relax.”
It takes just a few seconds and works beautifully when you need a quick reset.

How to create yours:
Choose a simple physical action you can do anytime, anywhere.
Pair it with a slow breath out or a calming phrase like “I’m safe,” “Settle,” or “Let it go.”
Repeat it during calm moments so your brain learns the link.
Use it whenever stress spikes, your system will start shifting into calm automatically.

Examples of effective calm cues:
Pressing your thumb and forefinger together.
A discreet, grounding movement that signals your brain to focus inward and slow down.
Dropping your shoulders.
Many people hold tension without realising; releasing the shoulders tells the body it’s safe.
A slow exhale through pursed lips.
This extends your out-breath, activating the parasympathetic nervous system — your body’s natural brake pedal.

Once conditioned, your calm cue becomes a reliable anchor — a simple physical gesture that brings you back to steadiness no matter what’s happening around you.

05/12/2025

🎄Surviving Christmas Tip #5 — The 90 second reset.

Christmas is full of stressful moments. The crowds, the noise, a memory, or a sudden overwhelm. Your brain releases stress hormones that flood your body for around 90 seconds. That’s just chemistry.

What happens after 90 seconds is psychology: you either feed the stress through rumination, or you allow it to pass.

How to apply it:
- Close your eyes for a moment.
- Take a slow breath in, slow breath out.
- Remind yourself: “This is just a physical surge. It will pass.”

04/12/2025

🎄Surviving Christmas Tip #4 — Protect your mornings.

The first 10 minutes of your day set the tone for your entire nervous system.
If you wake up and instantly check messages, social media, or Christmas chaos, your brain goes straight into reactive mode.

But if you slow down the start of your day, you stabilise your emotional baseline.

Try:
Standing outside for one minute.
A warm drink with no noise.
Shoulder rolls + slow breathing.
Writing a single intention for the day.
Three minutes of silence.
This resets cortisol, centres the mind and increases resilience.

A calm morning is not a luxury.
It’s emotional armour.
Especially in December.

What’s one morning ritual that helps you feel human again?

03/12/2025

Surviving Christmas – Tip #3 Avoid the comparison trap.

Christmas is the season where comparison goes into overdrive.
Who’s got the “perfect” tree.
Who’s done the biggest shop.
Who’s wrapped everything by the 1st of December.
Who’s spending the most money.
Who’s having the “best” day.

Comparison is a thief. It steals joy, peace, energy and confidence.
And most of what we compare ourselves to isn’t even real.
It’s curated.
Filtered.
Performed.
Cropped to look like calm when the reality is chaos.

You don’t need to match someone else’s Christmas.
You don’t need to bake like them, decorate like them, spend like them or host like them.
Your Christmas is allowed to be:
simpler
cheaper
quieter
messier
more “you”

You’re not in competition with anyone.
Not your neighbours.
Not your family.
Not the internet.

Christmas isn’t a performance, it’s a moment.
Protect your peace by staying in your own lane.
Comparison is optional. Presence is not.

What helps you stay grounded when everyone else seems to be “doing it better”?
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02/12/2025

Surviving Christmas Tip #2 - Don’t let other people trigger you.

Let’s be honest, Christmas can bring out the best and the worst in people. Old habits, old arguments, old buttons get pushed quickly.

And most of the stress doesn’t come from the day itself, it comes from people.

But here’s the breakthrough:
You don’t have to take on someone else’s stress, drama or mood.
Even if it’s family.
Even if it’s routine.
Even if they expect you to react.

This year, protect your peace:
Set boundaries early.
Don’t engage in their negativity.
Step away if you need to.
Pause before reacting.

Your emotional state is yours, not something you have to hand over. Because Christmas isn’t a test of how much you can tolerate.

It’s a chance to choose how you show up.

If someone’s behaviour is triggering you:
Respond slowly, breathe, and remember you’re not responsible for fixing their emotions.
Protect your energy.
Protect your peace.
Protect your Christmas.

01/12/2025

Surviving Christmas. Tip #1 - Presence not presents.

For many of us Christmas is a great time of year. For many others, it's their worst nightmare for many reasons.
For the next 25 days, I’m sharing daily insights on how to stay mentally healthy, avoid overwhelm and actually enjoy Christmas.

Christmas can become a competition of spending, gifting and excess. And every year people push themselves into debt trying to prove something:
“To make the day perfect.”
“To give the kids everything.”
“To keep up with everyone else.”

But here’s something to seriously consider. No present is worth the pressure, the overdraft, or the panic in January when the credit card bills land.
There’s nothing fun about opening gifts on Christmas Day if you’re secretly dreading the credit card bill that’s coming in the new year. Especially if you’ve got children and the expectation feels huge.

So here’s the mindset shift:
Kids remember moments, not price tags. They remember connection, laughter, attention, rituals and presence.
And adults do too. You don’t need the latest gadgets, the biggest haul, or the perfect Instagram Christmas.

You need space, calm and presence with the people who matter.
Because the most valuable things are the ones money can’t buy:
Conversation.
Warmth.
Time.
Attention,
Kindness.
And those are the things that last.