14/02/2026
I don’t know who needs to hear this today, but grief can make you so tired. I’m not talking about the kind of tired that a strong cup of coffee or an extra hour of sleep can fix.
I mean the bone-deep exhaustion that only grief can create.
When I was deep in my grief, people kept telling me to ‘just rest’, but it was easier said than done.
I’d lie down, hoping to recharge, only to find my mind running a marathon through memories, regrets, and what-ifs. It turns out that grief doesn’t just break your heart, it also sucks all the energy out of you.
I remember days when even getting dressed felt like a major accomplishment. And I had to force myself to take a shower or eat something. Then instead of giving myself credit for the very little I could manage to do, I’d beat myself up for not doing enough.
Here’s the thing…our culture worships productivity, and grief just doesn’t play by those rules.
Grief demands slow days, messy hair, and forgiving yourself for accomplishing absolutely nothing besides making it through each day.
Our brains are working overtime trying to process our loss, trying to make sense of a world that suddenly feels upside down. It’s emotional heavy lifting, and your mind needs as much recovery time as your body would after running a marathon (except there’s no medal at the finish line), because there’s no finish line on the road of grief.
I also wish that someone had told me I wasn’t lazy, and that I was just grieving.
So let me tell you now…of course you’re tired.
Your system is doing a lot of hard grief work, even if it just looks like lying on the couch staring at the ceiling.
So go ahead…rest a little more. Nap when you need to. Cancel a plan or three.
Let people think you’re “taking it easy,” because you know the truth.
This kind of tired doesn’t come from doing nothing.
It comes from feeling everything.
Gary Sturgis
Author: ‘SURVIVING GRIEF - 365 Days A Year’
