09/02/2022
An informed mother is a stronger mother
đź’śThink of maternity as planning a marathon
Maternity is a journey that will last all your life and cannot be restricted to pregnancy and birth. The real challenges start after birth and very few women are prepared for that.
Before being pregnant and considering having children, it’s very important that couples start to think about the resources and services they will need when the baby will be here.
As mentioned before, it is simply unrealistic to imagine managing everything on your own, you will need help and to organise your life more than ever.
Some surveys highlight that in general working mothers will look after their children 2.1 times more everyday than working fathers and that mothers will more frequently give up their hobbies after birth than the fathers.
The discussion around the help you will need as new parents is crucial and you will have to think about involving people around you outside your family to have the extra support you will need.
❤️ It Takes a Village to raise a child
As the saying goes “it takes a village to raise a child“, our western cultures have completely forgotten that raising a child takes extra hands.
Putting pressure on only the parents and in general the mother to raise a child is dangerous and is often judged by society if the mother is struggling and calling for help.
Nowadays, the family bubbles are very restraint, when in the past young parents often had the help of the grand-parents, uncles and aunts.
And more generally the community aspect of our modern life has disappeared.
Isn’t it time to bring communities back in our lives with the goal of connecting young parents to help each other?
Asking for help is essential in your motherhood journey and asking for help long before you are on the verge of collapsing, as very often women only ask for help when they have exhausted all over options which can be too late.
đź’š Encourage discussion around postpartum
There is a strong disconnect on how our societies look at pregnant women versus new mothers.
Pregnant women are more than ever idealised and placed on a pedestal, as their body is enhanced and glorified being photographed, shown and exposed, while the postpartum body generally stays hidden and secret.
Why so much secret around postpartum? Why more mothers feel ashamed of their body after birth feeling they are not desirable anymore, that they are now restricted only to their mother role?
Personally, I feel more beautiful after my two pregnancies than before, obviously my body has changed but I love it and really embrace it as I see all its powers.
I see my body as truly amazing, as it created two perfectly healthy babies, delivered them naturally and fed them in their first months of life.
Regardless of what your birth experience has been, mothers should embrace their new bodies for what it has done rather than feeling ashamed of it.
This doesn’t mean hiding the discussions around recovery, scars, extra weight, pain but actually talking about all these topics as it enhances the incredible experience your body has been through.
🧡 Create your essential Mother only list
It’s high time we switch the mindset from the baby list to the mother (parents/family) list.
Forget the very materialistic, non-sustainable, mostly useless baby list and invest into a practical, sustainable and useful essential mummy list.
Babies in their first months really don’t need much and what a new family needs is all the help, services and resources possible to be happy parents to raise a happy child.
Think about the services you will need after your baby is born, this could be for your wellbeing such as pelvic floor rehabilitation sessions, massage, acupuncture, reflexology, postnatal yoga or swimming session but also more practical services for your family such as cleaning, baby sitting services, food delivery, flower delivery or traiteur “a domicile”.
As a new mum, you will also need essential products to take care of yourself and these will be much more important than receiving cashmere booties for your newborn in summer ! This could be recovery pants, effective cream for C-section scar, breastfeeding tops, new mum outfits.
Think about creating this essential mum list to share with your loved ones as your own needs are so important for the wellbeing of your new family.
We hope this post will encourage the discussion around mothers and their place in societies but more importantly will free you from guilt as there are no perfect mother roles and the only choices that matter are the ones that make you and your family happy !
