SENTigerMum

11/11/2025

When the National Curriculum Doesn’t Fit Our Children💛

Many of us raising children with SEND see the same pattern as they move through school. The national curriculum sets out what every child is “supposed” to learn at each stage. But for so many of our children, those expectations don’t match the way they learn, think or grow.

This isn’t about ability.
It’s about fit.

Last year’s Curriculum and Assessment Review put into writing what parents and carers have been saying for a long time. The Review found that the current curriculum often follows one route and one pace, and that too many children with additional needs are left behind simply because the system wasn’t designed with their strengths in mind.

It also recognised clear “blocks to progress” for learners with SEND — things that limit what they can access, the subjects available to them, and the opportunities they’re offered as they move through school.

When the system doesn’t adapt, progress naturally looks different. Course choices narrow. Options become limited. Not because our children lack interest or capability, but because the pathway they’re being given is too rigid to match who they are.

As parents and carers, we often find ourselves gently advocating. Helping teachers see the whole child. Asking for adjustments. Trying to make sure our children get the chance to learn in ways that suit them, not ways that squeeze them.

Our children deserve a curriculum that recognises their abilities.
A curriculum that stretches to meet them.
A curriculum that keeps pathways open instead of quietly closing doors.

This isn’t about pushing them to achieve more than they can.
It’s about making sure the opportunities are there when they’re ready to reach for them.

And until the system shifts in the way the Review calls for, we’ll keep supporting, questioning and advocating — calmly but consistently.

Because with the right chances, our children can grow in ways a standardised curriculum could never fully predict. SENTigerMum.com

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10/11/2025

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10/11/2025

https://www.sensationaltutors.co.uk/8-sen-friendly-christmas-events-december-2025/

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Christmas is just around the corner, and there’s no better time to make memories with the whole family! However, for SEN children, the increased noi

05/10/2025

🔎 Searching for a School Placement When Mainstream Doesn’t Work

Our journey to finding the right setting for our child with SEN

When my oldest, Seb, was around 3, the school nursery first mentioned he may be autistic. At that point, things seemed okay on the surface. But by the age of 6, things changed dramatically.

Seb became highly distressed about going to school. Mornings were extremely hard — he often refused to leave his bedroom or the house. This wasn’t just on school days; evenings and weekends were affected too.

At school, however, Seb was perfectly well behaved, which made it much harder for the school to understand the impact that the school environment was having on him. His burnout after school was minimised or dismissed. At first, it could take weeks (sometimes months) to figure out what was upsetting him — something as small as a dripping tap or a change in classroom seating could completely throw him.

As he got older, he could describe the issues more clearly, but he became hyper-focused on them. He would beg us to go into school in the evenings to fix whatever was bothering him.

In the school holidays, Seb was a completely different child — happy, relaxed, and content.

It took me 8 long years to find a school placement that was truly suitable for Seb. During that time, we applied for an EHCP, moved him from mainstream into a SEN placement, and eventually into another specialist placement.

I’m not a professional or an expert — I’m a parent. But I’ve learned a lot from this process, and here are my practical tips to help other parents navigate the complex school placement system.

🧠 1. Remember: You Are the Expert on Your Child

Mainstream didn’t work for Seb. The school wasn’t particularly supportive of the difficulties we were having at home, and they didn’t fully grasp the impact on his mental health. There was no way he could have remained in that environment long-term. Trust your instincts.

📝 2. Make the Most of Support from School and the LA

If mainstream isn’t working, ask:

What adjustments can be made in school?
Are there specialist units within the borough?
Can you visit them?
Ask if you can speak to any of the Sen parents?
Research them

Ask practical questions:

What training do teachers have?
What is the cohort (types of needs, age range)?
What is their behaviour policy?
Do they have a calm room or safe space you can view?

Some children thrive in SEN units attached to mainstream schools — they offer smaller classes and targeted support while maintaining academic opportunities. Unfortunately, that wasn’t an option for us eight years ago, but it might be now for other families.

📄 3. The Parental Element of the EHCP

When writing the parental section of the EHCP, be clear about your child’s diagnosis and the areas they need support with — but don’t forget to highlight their strengths and personality too.

For example, I included Seb’s needs in detail, but also attached a school report that described him as “chatty and witty in class.” It’s important to paint a full picture of your child — not just their struggles.

I actually used ChatGPT to help draft this section clearly and warmly.

🏫 4. Research Schools Thoroughly

I created an Excel spreadsheet to keep track of:

Distances
Type of school (mainstream, SEN, unit)
Cohort and needs they accept
Admission contacts and responses

Then, I phoned the school admissions teams to discuss Seb’s needs and strengths. I followed up with friendly, proactive emails, attaching his EHCP and relevant reports.

I was upfront about his profile, but I also made sure to show his strengths — this helps schools get a balanced understanding of your child.

💻 5. Use Tools and Services if You Can

Years ago, we used the Good Schools Guide paid service. They researched schools for us and arranged visits. This was helpful because many SEN schools don’t allow visits until the LA names them on the EHCP. With so few placements available, I understand why — but it can be a shock to parents.

Every SEN school is very different in terms of the children they support. Having a suitable placement already identified can put you in a much stronger position when you’re going through tribunal or LA discussions.

💪 6. Be Persistent

If a school says it can’t meet your child’s needs, ask why. Sometimes it’s a genuine mismatch; other times it’s capacity or misunderstanding.

I emailed one school every year for three years to check if they could take Seb. Eventually, the timing was right, and we got a place — and it turned out to be the perfect fit.

✨ Final Thoughts

Finding the right school for a child with SEN can feel like a full-time job. It takes time, energy, and persistence. But your voice as a parent is powerful, and you are the expert on your child.

It took us 8 years to find the right placement for Seb. It wasn’t easy — but it changed everything.

02/10/2025

Coming soon. 8pm, BBC 1, 6th October.

01/10/2025

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What Happens if Your Child is Too ‘Special’ for Mainstream School but Not ‘Special’ Enough for a Specialist Placement?

Where does your child fit if mainstream school isn’t meeting their needs, but they don’t qualify for a specialist placement?

This is the difficult reality for many families navigating the education system. A child may struggle in mainstream settings—perhaps due to autism, ADHD, dyslexia, sensory processing issues, or anxiety—yet not meet the strict criteria for a specialist school. They are caught in the gap: too ‘special’ for one, not ‘special’ enough for the other.

The consequences can be serious. In mainstream schools, these children may face constant overwhelm, leading to anxiety, meltdowns, disengagement, or behavioural issues. They may be bright but unable to thrive in a rigid, fast-paced environment that doesn’t accommodate their learning style or sensory needs. Teachers, stretched thin by large class sizes and limited resources, may struggle to provide the individual support they require.

Meanwhile, specialist placements—designed for children with more profound needs—often have strict entry criteria. If a child is verbal, academically able, or doesn’t display severe behavioural difficulties, they may not ‘qualify’, even if they can’t cope in mainstream education. Parents are left fighting for assessments, diagnoses, and support, only to be told their child isn’t ‘struggling enough’ to warrant additional help.

So, what happens?

Too often, these children fall through the cracks. They may mask their struggles until they reach burnout. They may be labelled as ‘naughty’ or ‘lazy’ rather than recognised as needing adjustments. Some end up in part-time timetables, excluded, or withdrawn from school entirely because the system simply doesn’t work for them.

Parents, meanwhile, are left exhausted—battling for support, attending endless meetings, and being told to ‘wait and see’ while their child’s confidence and well-being suffer. Some turn to homeschooling, not because they want to, but because they have no other choice. Others try alternative settings such as forest schools, online learning, or private tutors—if they can afford it.

So how do we bridge this gap?

There needs to be more flexible education models—hybrid schooling, smaller nurture units, or better-supported mainstream inclusion. More schools need the training, funding, and willingness to adapt their approach so that children who don’t fit a rigid system aren’t left behind. Parents need to be listened to, not treated as obstacles for advocating for their child’s needs.

Most importantly, we need to stop categorising children as ‘special enough’ or ‘not special enough’. Every child deserves an education where they feel safe, valued, and able to learn in a way that works for them.

Emma
The Autistic SENCo
♾️

Photo: A local place we like to eat in. I loved the simplicity of the scene as well as the colours.

29/09/2025

What to respond with should someone tell you that your home is too comfortable for a child and that’s why they find attending school difficult.

When someone says, “You’ve made home too comfortable” as the reason your child struggles to attend school, my first instinct (after a big “What?? 🤷‍♀️”) is actually to thank them.

Because if that’s what they see, then I’ve achieved exactly what I set out to do as a parent.

You see, home wasn’t always the most comfortable place for me. The adults in it weren’t always the safest people for me to be around. I knew, long before I became a parent, that I wanted something different for my children. I wanted home to be their sanctuary – safe, fun, cosy, full of laughter, and a place they could trust was truly theirs.

So yes, thank you. Thank you for recognising that my child feels loved, secure, and accepted here. That isn’t a fault. That’s the goal.

Professionals can’t have it both ways. On one hand, a difficult or unsafe home life is rightly treated as a safeguarding concern, with proper processes in place to protect children. On the other, a safe, nurturing home suddenly becomes a problem when a child struggles to attend school? That doesn’t add up.

How can being loved and secure be twisted into a negative?
How can safety, warmth, and care be painted as barriers?
How can a child’s happiness at home be mislabelled as avoidance of school?

Because here’s the truth: children don’t miss school because home is “too nice.” They miss school because school feels unbearable for them. That might be because of anxiety, sensory overwhelm, unmet needs, bullying, pressure, or a mismatch between the child and the environment. But it is never because a child is “spoiled by love” or “too happy at home.”

So if you ever find yourself in a meeting and someone says those words to you, try this:

💬 “Thank you. This is exactly the home life I wanted for my child. I’m glad you’ve recognised that our home is safe, supportive, and excellent. Please make sure that’s reflected in the meeting notes.”

Because that paper trail matters. It’s evidence that your home is not the problem. It shifts the conversation back to where it should be – on school-based challenges and what adjustments need to be made there.

Home should be the safest place in the world for a child. It should be the place where they can drop the mask, where they can breathe, where they are celebrated just for being themselves. That is not indulgence. That is parenting done right.

So to every parent who’s ever been told, “Maybe you’ve made it too nice at home”… stand tall, smile, and say thank you. Because you’ve built the very thing every child deserves.

And let’s be very clear: children don’t refuse school because love is abundant at home.

They refuse because school, for whatever reason, is not meeting their needs.

Safety is never the problem.

School being unbearable is.

Emma
The Autistic SENCo
♾️

Photo: Wonder Woman. She lives in our LS department.