Ali Harris Therapy & Co

Ali Harris Therapy & Co We help people who are struggling with their mental health to feel better
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It’s a fine art - knowing when to stick with something and when to cut your losses. Giving up on a project, a job, a rel...
18/02/2026

It’s a fine art - knowing when to stick with something and when to cut your losses. Giving up on a project, a job, a relationship - on ANYTHING, really - can feel too much like failure. So, you might cling on, thinking that ‘only losers quit’. But sometimes walking away from something that no longer serves you is the bravest, wisest choice, not to mention the highest form of self-care.

Conversely, some people struggle to stay on course; their goals seem too far-off, too unattainable and they lose faith, lose heart and beat themselves up for their ‘laziness’ or lack of ‘staying power.’ They can’t hold on so they keep on letting go.

There’s no formula for making a ‘right’ decision. Learning to FEEL every feeling, to VALIDATE each emotion but to also REALITY TEST every one of them too. Not all feelings are facts. You need to learn to use your feelings, your self-knowledge and general life experience to weigh up pros and cons. You won’t always make decisions that work out the way you hoped. That doesn’t necessarily make them ‘wrong’ decisions. You can never have all the information. Sometimes you have to hope for luck and serendipity isn’t always on your side.

But learning to MANAGE no matter how things pan out is the foundation of hope. That’s a capacity you can learn to develop in therapy. This can create enough hope in you that you stop procrastinating and make an informed choice. You learn to live in the balance between holding on and letting go. If that sounds like a skill you’d like to develop, drop me a message xx

Art: Sam Cannon Art

Do you redouble your attempts to please when a friend or partner seems to pull away? Do you take signs of low effort as ...
17/02/2026

Do you redouble your attempts to please when a friend or partner seems to pull away? Do you take signs of low effort as an invitation to try harder? Do you see how it drains you? How it sucks at your self esteem? How did you learn to empty yourself of physical and emotional resources in order to try to get your needs for love met? What might it take to get you to stop? What might have to happen to interrupt that pattern and cause you to cultivate emotional boundaries where unrestrained giving now stands?

Could now be the time?

Could this be your sign that marks the moment you decide to ‘normalise not trying harder when someone makes you feel unwanted’?

What could you do with all the love, attention, thoughtfulness and energy that you’ve routinely poured into apparently disinterested others?

I don’t know for sure - but I’m willing to bet that you would benefit from that a WHOLE lot!!

SELF- love
SELF-compassion
It’s good stuff!!

Wanna find out?
Not sure how to begin?
A spot of therapeutic support might really help with that.

If that sounds good, drop me a line 😊

Love Ali xx

Art: Blcksmth

Sometimes life feels like an assault course of chores and challenges - domestic tasks , life admin, parenting responsibi...
16/02/2026

Sometimes life feels like an assault course of chores and challenges - domestic tasks , life admin, parenting responsibilities, work stuff, exercise, fitting in a social life, making future plans… so many hoops to jump through! It can be a lot! But when your mental health is at a low ebb, suddenly it can feel like you’re expected to complete life’s assault course while up to the waist (or even your neck,) in treacle! 🤦🏻‍♀️ You watch those around you leaping obstacles effortlessly (or so it seems,) apparently unencumbered by sticky stuff and yet somehow you struggle to move, let alone leap!

Life’s sticky patches can really do a number on you - can make you question your ability to ‘do life’ - cause you to feel incompetent, incapable and generally not fit for purpose.

That’s when a bit of support can help - reaching out for practical and/or emotional back-up can help you figure out where all that treacle is coming from, and how to lower its level, or if that’s not possible (sometimes sticky patches are rooted in real-world realities that can’t be shifted right away,) how to bear and somehow negotiate a treacle-soaked life without drowning.

And if you’re experiencing a tricky sticky patch right now, I’m sorry. I’m sending you lots of love - keep going, and try to trust that you WILL get through it ###

Art:

If you’re not careful, weekends can turn into a whirligig of chores and you end up ‘going back to work for a rest!’ That...
15/02/2026

If you’re not careful, weekends can turn into a whirligig of chores and you end up ‘going back to work for a rest!’ That’s the kind of glib, wry thing people say, isn’t - and it IS kind of darkly amusing, BUT it also kind of isn’t… who is all this ceaseless toil for? How did we become so enslaved to the acquisition and maintenance of THINGS??! Why have we given ourselves so much repetitive busy work? 🤔

Often a bit of cleaning, decluttering and general busy-ness makes me happy, it gives me DOPAMINE but lately it really wasn’t. So I decided to change things up and down tools. The last couple of weekends I deliberately dialled back the weekend’s cleaning and chores & set my mind to doing as few useful things as possible.

God, it was DELICIOUS!!

I binged some Netflix, took my daughter shopping for make up, went out for ice cream, ate sweets with my son and generally loafed about. And yes, the place looked less than tidy, and no, by puritan standards I had not been ‘productive’ but also:

NO ONE DIED!!

And it could be a coincidence but I’ve slept better, felt happier and gotten a LOT done since then. I didn’t fall into an executive dysfunction vortex of uselessness, and was not rendered incapable or hopelessly indolent!!

I think it was a nice change of pace and my weekend felt like it went on quite a long time, rather than in the blink of an eye, like it tends to when I’m a busy bee 🐝

So, if you’re feeling a little ragged around the edges & you were planning a weekend of jobs and tasks, maybe consider swapping some or all of them out for some dilly-dallying, navel-gazing & wool-gathering - you can tell any disapproving onlookers some crazy therapist lady on the internet recommended it - and then let me know how it went.

Enjoy! xx

Art: Pls DM for credit

Dear People-Pleasers, If you unreservedly give all your love away to others - your time, your energy & your worldly reso...
14/02/2026

Dear People-Pleasers, If you unreservedly give all your love away to others - your time, your energy & your worldly resources - & keep nothing for yourself, you are likely to be left feeling burned out & resentful. You need and deserve better. You are not a genie in a lamp - you do not exist merely to grant others’ wishes!

What needs to change?
Hmmm…

Maybe some of that love you’re giving away needs to be focussed on you? Perhaps before you give to others, before your court their validation and approval, you need to give love to yourself?

That may seem counter-intuitive & unfamiliar - perhaps as a child you got your needs met by anticipating and meeting others’ needs and maybe you never really experienced being loved for yourself, ‘just because’. Perhaps you learned to attach your value to notions of being useful to others?

The problem is that carrying on giving your all to everyone at your own expense will leave you feeling empty, unimportant and taken for granted.

You cannot buy others’ affection by showering them with gifts - physical or emotional. There is no short-cut to creating real relationship. You cannot (and should not,) obligate others to meet your needs by rushing to identify and meet theirs without so much as a ‘by your leave.’

You must not let your fear of not being liked rob you of your internal resources, leaving yourself to run on ‘fumes’.

Real, satisfying, loving relationships require the kind of giving that comes from self-love - they grow within boundaries, self-respect and the capacity to know and meet your own needs first.

Healthy relationships take time to grow and develop. They involve getting to know and understand eachother. They require communication, mutual agreement and reciprocity, all of which must be slowly cultivated. And the terms and conditions under which they function need to be gradually and openly articulated & negotiated.

Thoughtless, impetuous loving leaves you vulnerable to exploitation and emotional impoverishment. Takers will greedily suck up all you offer and give you nothing in return.

‘Your self love must be stronger than your desire to be loved by others.’

Art: As Above Astro

Have you ever noticed how easy it is to pick yourself apart? How readily self-criticism jumps to your lips? How often yo...
13/02/2026

Have you ever noticed how easy it is to pick yourself apart? How readily self-criticism jumps to your lips? How often you zero in on your flaws and all the things you have yet to achieve? It’s weird isn’t it? How quick you are to gloss over all your progress in your haste to run yourself down?

How does all that self-criticism make you feel? Deflated? Disappointed? Hopeless? Unhappy? Frustrated? Do you think creating those emotions in you helps or hinders your progress?

Dumb question, right? OBVIOUSLY running yourself down is counterproductive. And yet we still do it!

I wonder WHY? And gosh, where did you learn to do that? Who first let you know that self-deprecation was what was expected of you? How did you come to believe that acknowledging your progress was less important than focussing on your failures and flaws?

What might it be like, do you think, to stand back from your daily toil and survey how far you’ve come? How could it feel to look at all the good you’ve done? To take in all the positive change you’ve made for yourself?

Maybe you’d feel a sense of pride as you let yourself notice how much you’ve grown? You might smile softly to yourself as you realise that, while you’ve got a ways to go across many fronts, you have come SO far already?

It may be that you could make a habit of taking an inventory of your small victories? Maybe you’d feel could balance out all that self-criticism by learning to value your progress?

Just imagine.

Art: brainsbybay

A VERY important part of your work in therapy is developing the ability to pause between what happens and how you react ...
12/02/2026

A VERY important part of your work in therapy is developing the ability to pause between what happens and how you react to it. Practicing this pause empowers you to CHOOSE a response rather than ‘knee-jerk-react’ to what’s happening.

So instead of automatically repeating negative patterns:

Having the same arguments over and over
Continually ending up in the wrong relationships
Feeling ‘locked in’ to destructive habits

You learn how to STOP
You NOTICE what’s happening
You FEEL and validate your feelings
And you are able to CHOOSE a healthier response.

It’s a life-changing skill.

Cultivating this ability is a cornerstone of creating lasting positive change in your life - it takes you from being at the mercy of your past experiences and associated triggers and liberates you from them, granting you access to a more assertive, empowered and intentional way of living.

It takes self-reflection, self-exploration and lots of repetition to create that all-important gap between ‘stimulus and response’.

It’s NOT easy.
But boy, is it worth it!!

if you’d like to find out more about how therapy can help you learn to understand and manage your difficult feelings and experiences which not use the link in the comments to book a free 60 minute chat with me.

Let’s find out if I’m the right person to help you to feel better.

Love Ali xx

Art: As Above Astro

If you don’t tell people what you want and what you need and if you keep silently waiting and hoping that they’ll someho...
11/02/2026

If you don’t tell people what you want and what you need and if you keep silently waiting and hoping that they’ll somehow figure that stuff out, I feel you are setting yourself up for smouldering resentment and eventual failure. I know it can be scary to speak up for yourself - the fear of rocking the boat snd ending up with nothing can be paralysing.

But enduring unsatisfying situations and relationships starves the soul, and means you can end up pouring time and energy into people who can’t meet your needs, either because you can’t bring yourself to articulate them so they have no chance of finding out how to meet your needs, or because you’re just not compatible - but no one knows because you’re not able to speak up.

I know it’s hard…but I reckon it’s usually best to find these things out asap…I feel like you deserve a chance at real, honest, fulfilling relationships built on kind, open and honest communication.

But it doesn’t really matter what I think.
What do YOU think?

Art: .carly

WOAH there! Before you knee-jerk react & assume the worst; or reach for a drink or a fix to cover an unpleasant feeling;...
10/02/2026

WOAH there! Before you knee-jerk react & assume the worst; or reach for a drink or a fix to cover an unpleasant feeling; or bury your head in the sand instead of face a problem…. HOLD YOUR HORSES!! I always think of my runaway emotions like they’re horses - they are skittish, they startle easily, they run on instinct driven by fear of attack, and once they get the bit between their teeth it’s pretty hard to get them to slow or stop.

Learning to bring those horses from a frenzied gallop to a walk and then to stand - which is basically emotional regulation - has involved me learning to ‘hold my horses.’

I’ve had to study my own history and behaviour, in and out of therapy, to learn how to support myself to function well in different situations. It’s an ongoing process; I win some, I lose some but my general trajectory is on the up and up. I can be ‘unhorsed’ from time to time but I’ve got a fairly good seat now.

Self-mastery is tough, but you are the ONLY person you have any hope of changing. It requires patience, compassion, curiosity and the extending of grace to oneself and others.

The benefits are many and include a persistent state of wellbeing & sustained contentment; the capacity to receive constructive feedback without feeling attacked, the ability to cultivate good habits, an enjoyment of life without the need for external validation and more…

It’s pretty great - but it’s tough and it takes a while to conjure.

If you’d like some help learning to hold your horses, drop me a line xx

Art: vincitdesignco

👊🏻 It’s Monday again! Oof 😣 Don’t panic!! Let’s not rush into it!! Deep breaths. Plant your feet flat on the floor. Plac...
09/02/2026

👊🏻 It’s Monday again! Oof 😣 Don’t panic!! Let’s not rush into it!! Deep breaths. Plant your feet flat on the floor. Place a hand on your chest. Feel your chest rise and fall. Slow it down.

That’s it.
Lovely.

Before you face the day can you find a soft five minutes just for you?

- What’s going on in your brain case?
- What’s weighing on your heart?
- How’s that feeling in your body?

How do you feel?

Exhausted after a long weekend?
Guilty about a lack of productivity?
Are you dreading the day ahead?
Or are you looking forward to it?

Whatever your feelings, see if you can pick them out and just be with them. Try not to judge them. No need to argue with them. Try to just notice and accept them. How they feel inside. The words that come when you articulate them. Observe the physical and emotional effects.

Breathe.
Allow.
Accept.

Ok, NOW you can square up to the day. Another cup of coffee. A hopeful, rousing tune off your play list. A hot shower. Some clean clothes.

Yes!
You can do this!

Right, you fantastic human being!
Let’s take the week by its stabby little horns!!

See you on the other side!

###

Art: Jess.a.creates

Sometimes the changes you want to make feel too complicated or too BIG… and you get all overwhelmed and suddenly procras...
08/02/2026

Sometimes the changes you want to make feel too complicated or too BIG… and you get all overwhelmed and suddenly procrastination hits and you can’t go on. This just in - you don’t need to have it all figured out ahead of time and you don’t have to do it all at once. Too much looking at the ‘big picture’ can freak you out, so it’s often more useful to glance up at the ultimate goal once in a while then shift your focus to something small, right in front of you, that you can do now.

Rinse and repeat.
One step.
Another.
One more.
Quick glance up at the goal again then eyes down for the next small step in the direction of your heart’s desire.

You can do this.
If you quail and stall it’s fine.
Probably just means your next step still feels too big.
So you can break it down a little more and try again.
Keep taking little bites and before you know it…
DONE!
🙌

Art: Stacie Swift

There’s every chance that someone talks about YOU in therapy every week - they could even have been talking about you to...
07/02/2026

There’s every chance that someone talks about YOU in therapy every week - they could even have been talking about you to me. We might have been discussing how much they like and admire you from afar, how they dream about plucking up the courage to just ask you out… but they just…CAN’T!! So we’ll talk about all their fears and fantasies about what could go wrong, or how maybe unconsciously they’re keeping you at a distance so they can can keep you ‘perfect’, on a pedestal, unattainable, rather than risk real intimacy and allowing you to become an imperfect human. And we’ll think about how we’re going to work on that.

You might be the villain in their story - perhaps they talk about how full of yourself you are, how privileged, how arrogant you seem to them, how everything just seems to come so easily to you and how it makes them just sick! Perhaps after some discussion we’ll explore that a little, and we’ll eventually realise that they are intimidated by you - that they’re projecting all their fears about their own inadequacies onto you, imagining that you look down on them when that might not be the case at all… that you’ve never said anything to imply that. After some reflection they might realise that you must have worked very hard to get where you are - that you’ve had some luck, sure - but plenty of good success has come about via your own vim and vigour. I will support them to take back their projections and focus on their own growth and development rather than tearing others down out of fear of failure.

Or perhaps they’re your wife, partner or girlfriend, and they’re worried about how much you guys have been fighting lately - and we’ll talk endlessly about how those fights get set up, about what they could do to break the pattern, and learn to communicate more honestly and openly with you, so they can tell you how sorry they are, how much they love you and and how badly they want to work things out between you two.

People come to therapy and they talk about you, about all kinds of people - what they mean to them, what they hope for them, what they regret in their relationships, and through those conversations they learn to process and manage difficult feelings, and make them feel manageable.

You don’t need to worry what people are saying about you in their therapy because the focus is ALWAYS on them, on the therapy client. It’s understood that there are many vantage points between people in all kinds of relationships. One perspective is encouraged to become many. There are lots of sides to every story. Whether you’re cast as a hero or a bad guy, it doesn’t really matter. Not in someone else’s therapy session.

Maybe you have some people YOU would like to talk about in therapy - maybe you’d like to talk about them with me? You might want to talk about how sad you are since your dad died - about all that went unsaid between you, about your fears for how you’ll manage now he’s gone; about the times you spent together, the good and the bad as you struggle to process this terrible loss.

Or it could be something else 🤷‍♀️

Whatever you need to talk about, we can make some time and space for that. Help you feel better and learn to create some lasting, positive change.

So, if that sounds like something you’d like to do, get in touch now, I’m right here x

Art: fabulouslyfeminist

Address

London

Opening Hours

Monday 12pm - 9pm
Tuesday 12pm - 9pm
Wednesday 12pm - 9pm
Thursday 12pm - 9pm
Friday 12pm - 9pm
Saturday 1pm - 6pm
Sunday 12pm - 9pm

Telephone

+447488233750

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Our Story

I offer warm, personal counselling & psychotherapy, specialising in depression, anxiety & bereavement, tailored to your individual needs & oriented to help you feel better.