18/12/2025
50% of marriages end in divorce. Many of these couples had everything "right"โsimilar backgrounds, shared values, compatible lifestyles. Yet something fundamental was missing. Every relationship is a game of trust. Every day, both partners face an invisible choice: invest or protect yourself. Cooperate or withdraw. In game theory, this is called the Prisoner's Dilemmaโand whether you realise it or not, you're playing it right now.
In this video, we explore why relationships succeed or fail through the lens of game theory, attachment science, and emotional intelligence research. We unpack the neurochemistry of limerence (that intoxicating early phase that lets us trust before we have evidence), the four attachment "players" and their default strategies, and why Anxious-Avoidant pairings create a deadly dance that's almost impossible to escape. Most importantly: we show you the way out. โโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโ
๐ฌ RESEARCH MENTIONED
Meta-analysis: 176 studies, 67,734 participants
Trait EI correlation with relationship satisfaction: r = 0.37
Demand-Withdraw pattern correlation: r = -0.79
Limerence duration: 18-36 months (research consensus)
15-year longitudinal validation of trait emotional intelligence
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๐ง KEY CONCEPTS
PRISONER'S DILEMMA โ A game theory scenario where two parties must choose to cooperate or defect without knowing what the other will do. In relationships, this plays out daily.
LIMERENCE โ The neurochemical state of early romantic love (dopamine, norepinephrine, lowered serotonin) that allows us to invest in a partner before we have evidence they'll reciprocate.
ATTACHMENT STYLES:
Secure โ "Tit for Tat with Forgiveness" (cooperates, addresses defection directly)
Anxious โ "Always Cooperate" (over-invests regardless of return)
Avoidant โ "Always Defect" (withholds to protect self)
Disorganized โ "Random" (oscillates unpredictably)
DEMAND-WITHDRAW PATTERN โ The destructive cycle where one partner pursues while the other retreats, triggering more pursuit, triggering more retreat.
SHAPE COMPATIBILITY โ Whether two emotional profiles complement each other (one's strengths offset the other's vulnerabilities) rather than simply matching.
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๐ LINKS
TEIQue Compatibility Toolkit: https://teique.com/store
Explore Your Emotional Profile: https://teique.com
Join Our Mailing List: https://teique.com/
Research & Publications: https://psychometriclab.com/research
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๐ฑ CONNECT WITH US
Website: https://teique.com
LinkedIn: https://linkedin.com/company/psychometric-lab
Instagram: https://instagram.com/londonpsychometriclab
TikTok: https://tiktok.com/
X/Twitter: https://twitter.com/londonpsychlab
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๐ ABOUT TEIQue
The Trait Emotional Intelligence Questionnaire (TEIQue) is the most comprehensive and widely-used scientific measure of emotional intelligence, developed by Professor K.V. Petrides at University College London. It assesses 15 facets across four factors: Well-Being, Self-Control, Emotionality, and Sociability.
The TEIQue Compatibility Report analyses how two individuals' emotional profiles interactโrevealing whether patterns are complementary or potentially problematic before commitment.
Based on 25+ years of peer-reviewed research.
Music used:
https://www.bensound.com/royalty-free-music/track/moonlight-drive-lo-fi-relaxing
