14/12/2025
"We bring our patterns with us wherever we go, into every relationship, and we necessarily and inevitably bring them into the therapy relationship or the psychoanalytic relationship, because that’s a relationship too. It’s not a matter of choice. It simply happens. It happens everywhere. The therapist doesn’t do anything to make it happen. This is the human condition. We bring our patterns. The thing that makes psychotherapy, psychotherapy, and not just another relationship, is that we do something different. What we do that’s different is, instead of just repeating our same old patterns with a new person, we create the conditions where it becomes possible to notice the patterns, to recognize them, to put words to them, and understand them and discuss them. Out of that experience and that understanding comes the freedom to do things differently, to not have to repeat the same patterns. I always make a point, is that true for everyone? Does everybody need therapy? Well, everybody repeats earlier characteristic patterns. For some people, those patterns allow you to live a satisfying and rewarding life, with pleasure and connection and meaning and intimacy. So if that’s the case you’re still repeating early patterns but that’s what it means to be human. However, some people are living out patterns that cause distress or limitation, that get in the way of living the life they could lead, and that’s what we work with in psychotherapy and psychoanalysis.”
“We bring our patterns with us wherever we go, into every relationship, and we necessarily and inevitably bring them into the therapy relationship or the psychoanalytic relationship, because that’s a relationship too. It’s not a matter of choice. It simply happens. It happens everywhere. The t...