Margot Davidson Counselling

15/09/2023

Resourcing when you feel triggered..

19/01/2023

Keeping this in mind when anxiety and fear seems to take complete hold of you..

06/09/2022

"Therapy must be a place where oppression is examined, where the focus isn’t to simply reduce distress, but to see it as a survival response to an oppressive world."

Society’s understanding of mental health issues locates the problem inside the person - and ignores the politics of their distress, says psychologist Sanah Ahsan

30/06/2022

14/04/2022

This graph depicts human arousal of our nervous system. Arousal is our moment-to-moment ability to manage our energy, alertness, and readiness to engage with one another.

When you are in distress, your sympathetic nervous system increases in activation and can move you into a state of hyperarousal. In this state, you will feel your adrenaline pumping, your heart rate will be elevated, and a “fight or flight” response will be triggered.

On the opposite end of the spectrum is hypoarousal. Feelings of extreme threat can activate the parasympathetic nervous system and shift you into this collapsed immobile state. Here you’ll notice a numbing of your senses and elimination of pain due to internal anesthesia being released. When I say extreme threat, I don’t mean you have to be in immediate physical danger. These feelings can be triggered by words, phrases, or gestures.

That middle zone is what we refer to as our “window of tolerance.” It’s the state in which you are fully resourced and capable of rationally engaging with another person.

I invite you to be curious about how it feels when you are in this state and when you’re right on the edge of it and the triggers that lead to that. And very importantly - learn about your ressources that bring you back into the window of tolerance: taking a few deep breaths, being in nature, calling a friend,...

14/04/2022

When both partners in any relationship are each within their window of tolerance, they are (co-) regulated. They can each think and feel as their prefrontal cortex (our thinking brain) is switched on.

However, in case there is activation (such as criticism, judgement,..), partners can become hyper-aroused/dysregulated or hypo-aroused/disengaged. Their prefrontal cortex is not online anymore and survival responses have been activated.

If you feel yourself leaving your window of tolerance in conflict situations with your partner, agree to have a good old 'time-out' and meet again in 45min-1hour. That's how long it takes that the hormones such as cortisone have resided and you are (hopefully) back inside of your window of tolerance.

thanks to

25/02/2022

This is unfortunately necessary in these uncertain and anxiety provoking times...

20/01/2022

Traumas we often invalidate...and our own compassion can heal them.

18/01/2022

06/01/2022

New year resolution 2022.. Thanks to Alok Vaid-Menon