26/11/2024
At our midwife appointment today, we heard our baby’s heartbeat again, and I burst into tears. It was such a precious moment. We haven’t had a scan since 12 weeks (I’m now just past 16 weeks), and I can’t feel the baby moving yet, so hearing that little heartbeat brought the reassurance I didn’t even realise I was holding my breath for.
Just five minutes later, the midwife told me I need to start enjoying my pregnancy. I felt stunned. I’m still on anti-sickness tablets, with some days still spent being sick all day long. Right now, I’m just proud of myself for surviving.
There’s this unspoken pressure in society to love every moment of pregnancy, no matter what it throws at you. If someone was battling a 24/7 sickness bug, you wouldn’t tell them to “enjoy it.” You’d applaud them for simply getting out of bed and making it through the day. The same compassion should extend to pregnancy, especially for those of us who’ve walked the long, winding road of infertility and IVF.
IVF pregnancies come with an extra layer of anxiety that many people don’t realise. The constant milestones, the waiting, the physical toll, and the emotional rollercoaster - it all lingers. Even now, it’s hard to let go of that cautious mindset that IVF brings.
As with so many aspects of women’s health, society still has so much to learn. Women deserve to have their experiences validated, their challenges acknowledged, and their feelings respected whether they are savouring every moment, or just trying to survive the day.
To anyone else feeling this way: it’s okay if your pregnancy doesn’t look or feel the way you thought it would. It’s okay if you’re not glowing or loving every moment. Your journey is yours, and surviving is enough 🙏🏼
