31/10/2025
What's different for you when you're on stage, compared to in the practice room?
One thing that often changes is the breathing.
I was performing a concert this evening. The sensation of playing on stage was very different from the rehearsal in the afternoon. I wasn't particularly nervous myself, so I was asking myself what feels different and why?
I did a self scan: a technique I've learnt in Feldenkrais lessons. I noticed that my breath wasn't full, my breathing was shallow. Emotions are physical body states. So they come out in a physical way. But it wasn't my fear. It was from the group.
Mirror Neurons
We all have mirror neurons, which help us connect with others. They allows us to mimic patterns of other people, and then feel their emotions. It helps teach us empathy. My sister Andrea has Downs Syndrome, so some of her behaviours have remained very childlike. Some years ago, when she was living with my parents, my Mum hurt her knee. And Andrea started limping too. There was nothing wrong with her, she was copying Mum, unconsciously. Similar to how children walk exactly the same way as their parents.
Pretty useful for ensuring your adults connect with you and keep you safe. But it's the same thing that creates group fear or hysteria! It happens unconsciously, unless you look for it. It can happen on stage too. People around you stop breathing, and you might copy their patterns, without knowing.
Unconscious Copying
It happens in my Feldenkrais studio too. Someone will come in, and I'll get back pain in a weird place. It's not my pain, it's theirs. I've unconsciously mimicked their physical holding pattern. Perhaps that sounds a little strange. It took a while to get used to. But now it helps inform me how I can help people who come in - where I should focus my work. If I can feel it, I can locate it for them.
Why is this a topic I'm sharing? If we don't know what's happening, we think it's us. This unconscious response to your breathing patterns can happen with any strong emotion. But if we're aware of it, we can change it.
If you can change your breathing in the moment to a more diaphragmatic or holistic breathing pattern we can calm down the room. As you get more skill in this, you can shift the dynamic, without anyone knowing what you're doing. You can be the regulator in the room.
It can help yourself stay calm, (or the emotional state you want to be in) and able to enjoy performing. Or to stay calm in the face of someone else's overwhelming emotions.
It requires that you can sense your patterns, your own breathing habits. That you become more aware of what you're doing, when, and how.
Where can you learn this?
Breathing regulation requires a level of physical self-knowledge most of us don't learn in school or music college.
I've found that Feldenkrais lessons are a very useful way to do this! I teach it on my Reducing Anxiety courses. But every Feldenkrais lesson can help. Each lesson you explore different habits and patterns. And ways of breaking the habits which aren't useful. And whilst it takes concentration, it's not difficult. Anyone can learn it with some dedication and patience.
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