Clearview Counselling & Life Coaching

17/07/2023

Love, in Words and Actions

Many of us have confused notions about what it means to be loved and cared about.

Many of us were loved and cared for by people who had discrepancies between what they said and did.

We may have had a mother or father who said, “I love you” to us, and then abandoned or neglected us, giving us confused ideas about love. Thus that pattern feels like love—the only love we knew.

Some of us may have been cared for by people who provided for our needs and said they loved us, but simultaneously abused or mistreated us. That, then, becomes our idea of love.

Some of us may have lived in emotionally sterile environments, where people said they loved us, but no feelings or nurturing were available. That may have become our idea of love.

We may learn to love others or ourselves the way we have been loved, or we may let others love us the way we have been loved, whether or not that feels good. It’s time to let our needs be met in ways that actually work. Unhealthy love may meet some surface needs, but not our need to be loved.

We can come to expect congruency in behavior from others. We can diminish the impact of words alone and insist that behavior and words match.

We can find the courage, when appropriate, to confront discrepancies in words and actions—not to shame, blame, or find fault, but to help us stay in touch with reality and with our needs.

We can give and receive love where behavior matches one’s words. We deserve to receive and give the best that love has to offer.

Today, I will be open to giving and receiving the healthiest love possible. I will watch for discrepancies between words and behaviors that confuse me and make me feel crazy. When that happens, I will understand that I am not crazy; I am in the midst of a discrepancy.

Quoted from the app The Language of Letting Go.
Find recovery resources at

Hazelden Betty Ford provides addiction treatment, mental health care, research, and reconnection to individuals, communities, and families in crisis.

05/07/2023

05/07/2023

Celebrate

Take time to celebrate.

Celebrate your successes, your growth, your accomplishments. Celebrate you and who you are.

For too long you have been too hard on yourself. Others have spilled their negative energy—their attitudes, beliefs, pain—on you. It had nothing to do with you! All along, you have been a gift to yourself and to the Universe.

You are a child of God. Beautiful, a delight, a joy. You do not have to try harder, be better, be perfect, or be anything you are not. Your beauty is in you, just as you are each moment.

Celebrate that.

When you have a success, when you accomplish something, enjoy it. Pause, reflect, rejoice. Too long you have listened to admonitions not to feel good about what you have done, lest you travel the downward road to arrogance.

Celebration is a high form of praise, of gratitude to the Creator for the beauty of God’s creation. To enjoy and celebrate the good does not mean that it will be taken from you. To celebrate is to delight in the gift, to show gratitude.

Celebrate your relationships! Celebrate the lessons from the past and the love and warmth that is there today. Enjoy the beauty of others and their connection to you.

Celebrate all that is in your life. Celebrate all that is good. Celebrate you!

Today, I will indulge in the joy of celebrating.

Quoted from the app The Language of Letting Go.
Find recovery resources at

Hazelden Betty Ford provides addiction treatment, mental health care, research, and reconnection to individuals, communities, and families in crisis.

13/10/2022

https://www.theguardian.com/society/2022/oct/09/my-therapist-told-me-to-speak-to-my-inner-child-about-adhd-i-thought-she-was-joking-but-it-changed-everything?CMP=share_btn_fb

Growing up, Anna Spargo-Ryan was taught she was naughty and lazy. After an adult diagnosis of ADHD, she’s revisiting that kid – and together they’re rewriting history

08/09/2022

An example of duty and resilience...our Queen

17/08/2021

Beautiful words by Haemin Sunim :

10/03/2021

https://youtu.be/F-QEJTgGGn4

FAIR RIGHTS USE: Uploaded for educational purposes only. No ownership of copyright is implied.

20/11/2020

Turning it around:

Stress. It makes your heart pound, your breathing quicken and your forehead sweat. But while stress has been made into a public health enemy, new research suggests that stress may only be bad for you if you believe that to be the case. Psychologist Kelly McGonigal urges us to see stress as a positiv...

18/06/2020

It is not too late for this dream. Black lives matter. All men an women should be equal also. All ethnicities equal. That we may live together throughout difficult times that we can appreciate and respect our differences. And a realisation that no man or woman is more superior to one another. We are the human race/species we will only survive by taking care of one another. By recognising our place in the world. And by having humility in our own fragility. Part of this world. but not owning the world. Celebrate your place, be thankful but not entitled and be happy for others. Welcome to this wonderful world. X

13/06/2020

But let there be spaces in your togetherness and let the winds of the heavens dance between you. Love one another but make not a bond of love: let it rather be a moving sea between the shores of your souls.

20/05/2020

For this page I’m resistant to being coerced into marketing. It means it reaches a smaller number of people. And that’s good. Less can be more. 🥰