12/01/2023
🙏HONOURING 🙏
On the 1st Jan my Substack blog was entitled HONOURING & SAVOURING, which is what 2022 was about for me. Honouring my Fay’s (my mother’s) life & savouring thd memories & time with my sister
I had wanted to include an extract from her eulogy. I wrote Fay’s eulogy but had to record it lying down, as at the time it was the only way I had a voice, having lost it did to Chemo overdose.
Lots of people have thanked me for talking about honouring & death; so I thought I’d include a little extract from the eulogy. Also about honouring
Geoffrey was, of course, my father who was a man adored by many. The part about the letters isn’t an exaggeration; for a while all I remember is mumma writing letters to all those who had written to her.
“The greatest tragedy of Fay’s life was when Geoffrey died in 1984; she was still only in her 50’s with 2 children at home. It seems unfair that to have found such a deep love that it should be cut short at such a young age.
I have no way or desire to find words to make this neat and tidy or to express some plaintive like “well at least…..” I believe we do each other a disservice when we trivialize the catastrophic. And it was catastrophic and heartbreaking and as human beings we need to learn to acknowledge hard things and not sweep them under the carpet.
Fay had to do lots of hard things, alone for many years. Everyone felt the loss of Geoffrey he was one of life’s great lights. Fay had thousands of letters after his death, all of which she attended dutifully and by way of honoring her great love. But her love was gone, and no one would ever replace him.
Also her way of honoring him”.
