25/02/2025
Becoming a mum ✨The transition from maiden to mother has been rife with conflicting and confusing emotions. Nothing can prepare you for motherhood. The reality and challenge only becomes apparent once you’re thrown into the deep end. It’s a real balancing act between keeping another tiny, non-verbal human alive, whilst maintaining one’s own health, wellbeing, and semblance of identity.
From the moment my baby was placed on my chest to now, 5 weeks on, the love I feel for her moves me to tears daily. I’ve spent hours in these early days of motherhood gazing at her sweet little face, feeding her, rocking her, cooing, singing, smiling, laughing both at her and out of the sheer joy that she brings. The bond I have with her feels natural and unparalleled to the bond I have with anyone else. I don’t really have the words to best describe it at this point. AND YET I’ve felt sad, confused, lonely, exhausted, frustrated, enraged, resentful. On speaking to other mums I’ve been reassured that “what you’re feeling is normal.”
So far it’s been a very steep learning curve. One that has tested my patience and resilience to the max. I remind myself daily that it’s a privilege to be someone else’s everything 🌍 Yet of course there’s a part of me that misses my old life, which was beautiful and abundant in it’s own right.
I’m currently at a point now where I am trying to surrender to it all. To be ok with the fact that loving my baby each day, and keeping her alive and thriving is enough. I would like to be more active, go to the gym, attend a yoga class, get a massage, read a book, listen to a podcast whilst going for a walk, bake cookies, arrange meet ups with friends (that don’t involve meticulous timing around nap time!) travel, go on holiday, attend a workshop or a training, blow all my money that month on something I don’t really need… the list goes on… These aspects of life will return (maybe not the frivolous spending 🫠), but for now I’m someone’s mama.
Pic. 2 - Maggie day 1
Pic. 3 - Maggie 5 weeks
