Lavender Tree Counselling

12/08/2022

Kintsugi is the art of finding beauty and strength in imperfection and its a beautiful metaphor for our journey to love and accept ourselves for who we are.

02/08/2022

Love this 💕

A beautiful illustration 👏 This process is truly at the heart of therapy 😌

23/06/2022

To turn the other cheek, that is, to remain silent in the face of injustice or mistreatment, has to be weighed very carefully. It is one thing to use passive resistance as a political tool as Gandhi taught masses of people to do, but it is quite another matter when women are encouraged or forced to be silent in order to survive an impossible situation of corrupt or unjust power in the family, community, or world.These women are amputated from the wild nature and their silence is not serenity but an enormous defense against being harmed. It is a mistake for others to think that just because a woman is silent, it always means she approves of life as it is.

There are times it becomes imperative to release a rage that shakes the skies. There is a time - even though these times are very rare, there definitely is a time - to let loose all the firepower one has. It has to be in response to a serious offense; the offense has to be big and against the soul or spirit. All other reasonable avenues for change have to be attempted first. If these fail then we have to choose the right time. There is definitely a right time for full-bore rage. When women pay attention to the instinctual self...they know when it is time. Intuitively they know and they act. And it is right. Right as rain.

Clarissa Estes
Women Who Run With The Wolves

24/03/2022

How can you tell if a therapist is right for you? How long should you give yourself to decide? And if they’re not a good fit, how do you end things? Brianne Patrice, executive director of the…

02/03/2022

Abusive men don't reveal themselves on the first date. If they did, no woman would go back for a second. Relationships become abuse over time as abusers test boundaries, push ahead, gaslight, confuse and gradually overwhelm their partners.

Know the signs of an abuser so you can identify the tactics early on 👇

Domestic abuse warning signs: Even one or two of these behaviors in a relationship is a red flag that abuse may be present.

17/01/2022

A short film that shares one young man's journey towards better mental health, with a few interesting characters along the way.Filmed in West London and at M...

05/01/2022

Going back to work after Christmas can feel tough.

30/12/2021

It's that time when many of us make resolutions for the coming year. Getting better at defining and defending personal boundaries is a great one to choose 👍

14/12/2021

The warning signs of abuse 👇

Domestic abuse warning signs: Even one or two of these behaviors in a relationship is a red flag that abuse may be present.

08/12/2021

The single most important influence our sense of self/self worth comes from our relationship with parent figures.

Our parents interactions with us reflect back our sense of self. We internalize this their voice + it becomes our own inner voice. Our identity.

If we had parents who invalidated our emotions, denied our realities, or disapproved of core parts of who we are— we feel this as children. We start to develop beliefs that we are unworthy, unlovable, + have a fear that something about us is broken.

This the mother or father wound.

A wound where our first caretakers (who our lives depended on) didn’t fully accept or couldn’t love us in the ways we needed.

When this happens, we search for love + validation in everyone we meet. We become chronic people pleasers desperate to be “good enough” to be accepted.

Unconsciously, we re-create this parent child dynamic with romantic partners. We over extend ourselves, allow our boundaries to be crossed, allow people to betray us, place our self with in someone else’s hands, release our own needs in order to feel close to someone else.

External validation is the only way we can feel worthy. Of course when someone doesn’t validate our worth, the blow feels crushing. Especially with romantic partners where we feel the original parental rejection all over again.

We talk a lot in our culture about red flags when dating, + that’s a good thing! What we don’t talk enough about is: red flags don’t feel like red flags when they were once our familiar.

Many of us need to learn how to validate ourselves, how it’s OK to upset or disappoint people, + how authentic relationships do not involve betraying ourselves to be loved or chosen.

If you’re always seeking external validation, you’ll lose the connection to your own voice, your own needs, + your own power

04/12/2021

It's OK not to be OK ❤

01/12/2021

Anger is often just the tip of an emotional iceberg. What's hidden under the waterline for you?