Dianne Everitt Clinical Psychologist

17/12/2025

1. They've learned to care more about whether their behaviour aligns with their value system than they care about other people's opinions of them.

2. They're good at saying no, because they know that boundaries protect their capacity, and capacity is everything.

3. They stop to celebrate the wins and reflect on their competence - no matter how big or small.

4. They're curious. They're not afraid of asking questions before offering answers.

5. They cultivate a growth mindset and live by the rule - "I win or I learn."

Share this video with a high achiever who is working on building their confidence from the inside out.

If you're a high achiever and you want to feel as confident as you appear, I'm a Psychologist and this account is for you.

13/12/2025

We all need control to feel safe, but there is a point at which grasping for more control becomes counter productive, because it signals to your brain that without complete control, you're unsafe.

Building safety is a much more sustainable way to counter balance anxiety.

Because let's be honest.
We have much less control over most things in life than we'd ideally like.
And that's okay.
Trusting yourself - to find the resources you need to deal with the unexpected - is absolutely possible.

I help high achievers with high functioning anxiety.
If this is you, like this video and follow me for more tips.

07/12/2025

The first thing you need to do is categorize. There are 2 types of people who are intimidating.

Those who have the "gift of the gab", and are good at putting their competence on display, but have little substance when you see beneath the facade...

And those who are grounded in themselves and can hold a room - these people are confident because they really are competent.

Your brain is going to put you in the spotlight when you're nervous. We get way too focused on how we are coming across, and this leads to a spiral.

The first thing you're going to do is get curious and spin the spotlight.

Stop thinking about yourself and ask what you know about the individual in front of you.

If they're in the first category, you're going to look for the subtle signs of anxiety. Puffing up their own ego. Being unkind to others. Taking up all of the space in conversations. Talking about themselves too much and making little space for others. These are clues that you have less reason to be intimidated than you might feel.

For this category, your aim is to hold site of the fact that anything they say says more about them and their need to prove their worth than it says about you.

People who are truly confident are comfortable enough in their own skin to be respectful of others in every situation.

For the person who falls into the second category, you're going to hold site of how privileged you are to be in a room with such high calibre people. You have a unique opportunity to watch how they interact, what they do well, and how you can learn from and be inspired by them.

When we activate curiosity in our brains, the scientist switches on and can disrupt the spiral that hijacks our nervous system.

Let me know what your go to strategy is for interacting with people who intimidate you?

13/11/2025

The irony is that the more we try to will ourselves into doing something we're avoiding, the less likely we are to do it.

Procrastination happens for 3 main reasons.

1. Executive functioning difficulties
When your brain struggles to find a starting point, or create a structured outline, getting started with a big task feels absolutely overwhelming!

Instead:
- Break big tasks down into bite sizes that are more manageable to engage with
-Start with putting some ideas down on paper, or looking for inspiration to get ideas flowing
- Give yourself permission to create a rough draft and rework it as you go.

2. Avoidance of uncomfortable emotions
When we procrastinate, we are not avoiding the task itself, but rather the feelings of self-doubt and inadequacy that come up for us. When the stakes are high and our reputation is on the line, we end up avoiding the discomfort that comes with the risk of perceived failure.

Instead:
- Embrace discomfort as a signal of growth
- Lean into discomfort, identifying fear for what it is - a nervous system response that is wired to keep you safe but ends up holding you back
- Find ways to regulate your nervous system before you get started

3. Too much pressure to get something "perfect"
This is the biggest reason we procrastinate. When the stakes are high and our professional reputation is on the line, a task that we are very capable of doing becomes overwhelming.

Instead:
- Adopt the motto - done is better than perfect
- A paradoxical response is useful here - aim for average and your performance is likely to go up. There's too much science in this to cover here, but if you can trick your brain into buying out of how high the pressure feels, you bring the stress response down, and are likely to perform better, not worse.

What's your go-to strategy for overcoming procrastination?

12/11/2025

Most people think control is the counter balance to anxiety.

It works to a point, until we can't control things anymore - then we spiral.

The ultimate antidotes to anxiety are safety and trust.

Signalling to your nervous system that you are safer than you feel.

You can't think or control your way out of anxiety. You have to let the adrenaline pass through your body.

In the short term, get moving, breathe deeply, dip your face in ice cold water, and remind yourself that you are safer than you feel.

In the longer term, we're building trust in your ability to deal with whatever crisis comes your way.

In the anxious moments, push the pause button to reflect on how you have gotten through difficult moments in the past. Seeing that strength and competence goes a long way in grounding yourself.

What's your go-to strategy when you're anxious?

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07/11/2025

When success costs you presence, it's too expensive.

Lately, I've been realizing how easy it is to chase things that quietly pull you away from what matters most.

The work, the goals, the "just one more email" moments.

I love what I do - deeply.

But I've been learning that the version of success that once drove me...doesn't fit the life I want to live anymore.

I'm learning to slow down.
To drop a few balls.
To make space for things that make me feel alive.

But when success stops being about how much you can achieve, and starts being about how fully you can live - everything changes.

If you're on this journey, follow for more.

01/09/2025

The number one people struggle to sleep is because of an overactive mind, which is often a byproduct of an overactive nervous system.

The second reason people struggle to sleep is because of an overactive mind... related to ADHD.

Regardless of which category you fall into, if you struggle with either falling or staying asleep, or both, you need to be working on sleep hygiene.

These are the most effective sleep tips that I've seen in over 15 years of working with mental health. It can sometimes be a little more nuanced than this, but if you're struggling, start with these tips.

Do you have any other sleep hacks that you have found effective? Share it in the comments.

19/08/2025

Some of the most valuable lessons I've learned that have changed my own life, as well as the lives of my clients.

If this is helpful, share it, save it for later, and follow for more.

28/07/2025

Don't get me wrong - you'll find me in a happy place when strategy, problem solving and creativity collide. I'm an out of the box thinker who thrives on creative problem solving of difficult problems. BUT

When I get stressed, I dig a little deeper and push a little harder. And while this is often effective, the other side of the double edges sword is that achieving a state of rest and recharge for the nervous system never happens.

Because working hards fuels independence, and independence feels safe. Resting is the last thing I want to do when I'm stressed, and yet what I need so badly.

I see the exact same mechanism in my high achieving friends and clients. They don't know how to switch off, and it ends up costing them more than they'd like to pay.

Whilst they want to reduce the price and recalibrate to find better balance, they feel trapped, and can't pinpoint why.

It all comes back to safety. Performing feels safe. Resting doesn't. So we perform at the expense of ourselves until our nervous systems scream at us.

I am deeply passionate about this and on a mission to help this category of people find the solutions they need to live a life that feels balanced and meaningful.

If this is you, hot follow for practical tips and tools.

If you have a friend in mind who needs this too, share it with them.

12/07/2025

If your ambition is always on.
If it drives you to pursue success at the expense of yourself, your health, your relationships.
If you can't switch off.
If slowing down feels stressful.
If you always have to be doing something productive.

There's a good chance you're driven by high functioning anxiety, disguised as ambition.

That's the reason you look like you have it all together to the outside world.
But wonder why you're so discontented on the inside.
It's why you can achieve success and still feel empty.
It's why the novelty of each accolade wears off so quickly.
It's why you're a perfectionist.

If you have high functioning anxiety, it means you've learned that performance = safety.
You've learned to either avoid pain or elicit validation through your competence and capabilities.

But what you desire is not success itself.
It's what you think is on the other side of success.
Validation.
Identity.
Peace.
Contentment.
Feeling like you're "enough".

The thing is.
You are already enough.
As you are.
Without the need to perform.
You just need to learn to believe it.

This is the deepest work.
The work I am most passionate about.

If this resonates, follow me for practical tips and tools for high achievers.
Share this with someone who might benefit.
Find the quiz in my bio - Do you have high functioning anxiety (and what to do about it)?

26/04/2024

For the parents out there - how often do you recognize your own stuff getting in the way of being the parent you'd like to be? My wonderful colleague is doing a free workshop on how to regulate our own nervous systems so we can help our kids regulate theirs. I have learnt so much from her about nervous system regulation in the context of parenting, and this is bound to be a fantastic workshop!

FREE MASTERCLASS FOR PARENTS - DISCOVER HOW YOU CAN REGULATE YOUR OWN EMOTIONS, EVEN DURING YOUR CHILD'S OWN EMOTIONAL STORM!