The Infinite Recovery Project

02/01/2026

I have been on many podcasts but Leon brings a beautiful curiosity to the table which makes all the difference in where the conversation goes, this was a great experience on TooLight TooDark podcast for anyone to hear more of my own journey.

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02/01/2026

Labels like alcoholic or addict can feel relieving at first. They explain behavior, reduce shame, and offer a sense of belonging. But do these labels actually help healing or do they quietly limit who we believe we can become?

In this video, we explore addiction labels and identity, and why identifying with a label may paper over deeper emotional cracks instead of guiding us back to ourselves. Labels often come with invisible rules what you can do, what you can’t do, who you are allowed to be and over time, identity becomes trapped inside a story that isn’t truly you.

At the Infinite Recovery Project, we believe recovery is not about shrinking yourself into a diagnosis, but reconnecting with your infinite human potential. You are not a label. You are more than a story. And healing begins when we move towards ourselves, not away from who we are.

Learn more at: https://infiniterecoveryproject.com
Get my book on Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/dp/1068323302

02/01/2026

𝗬𝗼𝘂 𝗗𝗼𝗻’𝘁 𝗥𝗲𝗮𝗰𝘁 𝘁𝗼 𝗢𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗿𝘀. 𝗬𝗼𝘂 𝗥𝗲𝗮𝗰𝘁 𝘁𝗼 𝗪𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝗧𝗵𝗲𝘆 𝗧𝗼𝘂𝗰𝗵 𝗶𝗻 𝗬𝗼𝘂

There’s something that becomes painfully obvious the deeper you go into real healing

It was never about them, if it is, you haven't gone far enough

Not the narcissist
Not the critic
Not the parent who couldn’t love you the way you needed
Not the coach who just didn’t get it
Not the stranger online whose words hooked something in your gut

The reaction, the contraction, the collapse, the heat in the chest, the story in the head, didn’t originate outside

It came from what they touched in you

And this isn’t blame..
𝗜𝘁’𝘀 𝗹𝗶𝗯𝗲𝗿𝗮𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻!

Because if your reaction isn’t caused by them…

Then your healing isn’t dependent on them either....

This is why I don’t teach methods

This is why Infinite Recovery isn’t about behavior management or coping strategies

Because what’s required isn’t another framework to live inside, It’s the willingness to meet what’s alive in you that you’ve never learned how to hold

The nervous system doesn’t respond to what’s true, it responds to what’s unprocessed (Porges, 2011)

The body remembers what the mind forgot

And trauma, by definition, is what couldn’t be fully felt or integrated at the time (Van der Kolk, 2014)

So when something triggers you, you’re not responding to this moment

You’re reactivating a memory without context, a somatic imprint of the past flooding the present

This is why people know better and still sabotage

Why insight isn’t enough

Why healing isn’t an intellectual pursuit (Siegel, 2010)

The part of you that reacts isn’t wrong, it’s incomplete

It’s holding a survival strategy you didn’t get to outgrow

And you can’t resolve it by performing wholeness

You can’t spiritualise it away or build a better self-concept on top of it

You 𝗵𝗮𝘃𝗲 𝘁𝗼 feel what you didn’t get to feel

You 𝗵𝗮𝘃𝗲 𝘁𝗼 learn to sit with what you wanted to escape

This is what we do in my work
We don’t reframe
We don’t bypass
We don’t trade one identity for another.l

We stop outsourcing our nervous system to other people’s behaviour

Because the moment you stop blaming them…

The healing begins

-----
So, If it’s not about them, What are you actually defending?

(*from IRP training, this is part of the journey not the whole of it)

01/01/2026

𝗧𝗵𝗲 𝗧𝗿𝘂𝘁𝗵 𝗗𝗼𝗲𝘀𝗻’𝘁 𝗟𝗶𝘃𝗲 𝗶𝗻 𝗮 𝗙𝗿𝗮𝗺𝗲𝘄𝗼𝗿𝗸

I’m often accused of claiming to have the way, my way, the only way...

𝗕𝘂𝘁 𝘁𝗵𝗮𝘁’𝘀 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗴𝗿𝗲𝗮𝘁𝗲𝘀𝘁 𝗺𝗶𝘀𝘂𝗻𝗱𝗲𝗿𝘀𝘁𝗮𝗻𝗱𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗼𝗳 𝗺𝘆 𝗲𝗻𝘁𝗶𝗿𝗲 𝗺𝗲𝘀𝘀𝗮𝗴𝗲

I’m not offering a way, I’m pointing to what gets in the way...

And that’s exactly why it’s so uncomfortable

Because most of what we call healing in this world is still built on systems of doing, protocols, diets, frameworks, fixed-stage models.

It’s always, do this, think this, follow this, eat this way breathe this way, parent this way, forgive this way, do more of this or that, do it this way not that way and on

But trauma doesn’t live in the rational mind. It lives in the body, as protection, as survival, as patterned absence of choice

And when I say, what if none of that is the way? people feel challenged, because that calls into question everything they’ve trusted and if it's true it asks them to be in the dark

Here’s the part that’s almost always missed, I’m not saying my approach is better than yours, I’m saying healing was never found in an approach at all

𝗕𝗲𝗰𝗮𝘂𝘀𝗲

▸ Concepts can’t reach where the trauma lives
▸ Ideologies don’t meet you where the pain begins
▸ Systems ask you to behave
▸ Ways ask you to follow

And that’s the difference

What I’ve seen, in myself, and in two decades supporting those suffering with mental illness, food, trauma, and addiction, is that most people don’t lack knowledge

They lack access to themselves, their choices are hijacked by survival patterns, their safety system is offline, their “self” is buried

They’re trying to live well while still unconsciously running from themselves

Trying to do the “right” things while bypassing the very pain that created the problem

That’s not healing, that’s performing wellness, it's innocent of course no one has pointed the way yet

So no, I’m not here to give anyone a better method

𝗜’𝗺 𝗵𝗲𝗿𝗲 𝘁𝗼 𝘀𝗮𝘆

The moment you start to follow a way, you’re already moving away from yourself

Healing isn’t something you do right, It’s something you stop resisting

And when you stop, what remains is not a better version of you, It’s the you that was never broken

𝗧𝗵𝗮𝘁’𝘀 𝗻𝗼𝘁 𝗺𝘆 𝘄𝗮𝘆

𝗜𝘁’𝘀 𝗻𝗼 𝘄𝗮𝘆 𝗮𝘁 𝗮𝗹𝗹

Which is the only place truth has ever lived

31/12/2025

Most people get addiction wrong they think it's a choice, a failure, or that something is “wrong” with a person. In reality, addiction is your nervous system’s intelligent response to internal discomfort, tension, or suppressed emotions. It’s not brokenness it’s your system’s way of keeping you alive.

In this video, we dive deep into understanding addiction, exploring why the desire for drugs, alcohol, or compulsive behaviors is more about relief than failure, and how seeing it as an intelligent response can change everything.

Learn more at: https://infiniterecoveryproject.com
Get the book: https://www.amazon.com/dp/1068323302

31/12/2025

𝗪𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝗡𝗮𝗿𝗰𝗶𝘀𝘀𝗶𝘀𝗺 𝗧𝗮𝘂𝗴𝗵𝘁 𝗠𝗲 𝗔𝗯𝗼𝘂𝘁 𝗠𝘆𝘀𝗲𝗹𝗳

There’s a part of me that still wants to fight....

Wants to expose, dismantle, prove, especially when I sense narcissism in people's apparent leadership

I spent years indoctrinated into belief systems, and I find it hard to sit by and watch psychological manipulation of people in need

The energy of manipulation, control, righteousness triggers me

I know that pattern,
I’ve lived in that pattern,
I’ve performed from that place,
And sometimes, even now, I find myself dancing with it...

I’ve called out snake oil salesmen when I sense it,
I’ve pulled apart systems that sell false promises,
I stand by my work and I stand by the truth I see,
But I’ve also seen how quickly a personal wound can hijack a righteous cause

The need to be seen as “the one who knows”

The need to win the narrative

The bitterness when someone spins it back on me

That’s my work...

Narcissism doesn’t just show up in the “other”

It shows up in my reaction to them, in the collapse, In the burning need to be understood, In the desire to control the narrative, even when I tell myself I’m above it

𝗧𝗵𝗲𝗿𝗲’𝘀 𝗻𝗼𝘁𝗵𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗲𝗮𝘀𝘆 𝗮𝗯𝗼𝘂𝘁 𝘁𝗵𝗶𝘀 𝗽𝗮𝘁𝗵

But if I’m honest, the moments that feel like collapse are the real initiations...

And the people I want to attack… are often just echoing the parts I’ve not fully welcomed back in myself...

How can I do this work and maintain a squeaky clean image? my work is not about showing up healed all perfect, it's about becoming more yourself, that takes climbing some mountains, walking in the dark, and more..

So here I am, not with a moral high ground..

But with a deepening sense of what healing actually requires...

Not defence, but presence, even in the heat of the moment

This work was never about being the good guy, It was always about being real, becoming ok with all of me.

happy new year all

30/12/2025

𝗪𝗵𝘆 𝗬𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝗡𝗲𝘄 𝗬𝗲𝗮𝗿’𝘀 𝗗𝗶𝗲𝘁 𝗪𝗼𝗻’𝘁 𝗛𝗲𝗹𝗽 𝗬𝗼𝘂
(No matter how conscious it claims to be)

From 1994 to 2017, I was at war with my body, not the first war, but after giving up alcohol and drugs, food became the new battleground

I had seven cosmetic surgeries trying to fix myself, gained and lost over 300kg across two decades

Tried everything, Pounds & Inches, keto, carnivore, juice fasts, elimination diets, metabolic typing, blood type eating and many more, I was by all means, an expert with food, I could look at a plate of food and tell you the nutrient breakdown

Anyway, some 'worked'

Until they didn’t

Because the truth is, you can’t put the cart before the horse, this is echoed in the literature on trauma and neurobiology, where it’s shown that unresolved trauma impairs decision making, impulse control, and self-regulation (Van der Kolk, 2014 - The Body Keeps the Score) you can’t bypass your nervous system and expect long-term change, you can’t starve trauma into healing, and that is the cause of a lack of ability to make sound decisions for your health

You may follow a protocol for a period

You might feel better, more energy, less inflammation, fewer cravings, but that is only physical healing

That’s just the surface impact of finally doing something consistent, and the second life turns up the pressure, you’re right back where you started, you 'wake up' eating cake you didn't want or choose

Because the food was never the issue, it was the solution

WildFit, keto, carni and others try to address food mindset, but it’s still built on the same model, behaviour first

It assumes you’re in control of your decisions

But if you were… you wouldn’t be stuck

If you still find yourself eating compulsively the moment you’re off plan, the issue was never the sugar.

Studies on emotional eating show that people often use food to regulate emotional states in response to nervous system dysregulation, not due to nutritional ignorance (Schaefer & Magnuson, 2014 - A review of interventions that promote eating by internal cues.)

It was your lack of choice, a nervous system that doesn’t feel safe enough to slow down, acts in powerless ways

The capacity to choose is a direct reflection of your healing, forced change isn’t transformation, it’s suppression

And when choice is missing, education means nothing, people don’t need more food information, they need internal safety.

Neuroscientific research confirms that when the nervous system is in a state of threat, executive functions like planning, restraint, and curiosity shut down - making rational food decisions nearly impossible (Porges, 2011 - Polyvagal Theory)

But most of the wellness industry skips that part, because it’s slow, uncomfortable, and can’t be sold in 30 day plans

The uncomfortable truth, If the body has been ignored, punished, silenced or dysregulated for decades… that is trauma

And trauma doesn’t heal through willpower, or a new diet

What I’ve seen coaching people with eating disorders for decades, and finding total freedom of choice for myself around food is this, Until someone begins healing their relationship to their body and their unresolved pain, food will always be used to manage the system, or to escape from it

And no protocol can undo that

Not even the 'best' ones

Even intuitive eating fails if intuition is built on a dysregulated baseline

I don’t teach people how to eat, I help them find the part of themselves that can choose, that part is buried under years of survival, protection, and pain

And here’s what no diet or coach will say

If you can’t choose freely, no food plan will save you, If you can choose freely, you will

29/12/2025

True healing doesn’t come from someone else telling you what’s wrong with you.
It begins when you stop outsourcing your power and start healing by listening to yourself.

From a young age, we’re conditioned to believe that others experts, authorities, or people with credentials know more about us than we do. So we hand over our inner wisdom, follow instructions, and disconnect from our own source of knowing.

But that path often takes us away from healing, not toward it.

Healing by listening to yourself means reconnecting with your intuition, your inner world, and your own lived truth. No one else can truly know what your nervous system, emotions, or body needs to heal only you can discover that by turning inward.

This video explores why traditional approaches can unintentionally pull us away from ourselves, and how real recovery begins the moment we stop seeking answers outside and start listening within.

You may not become more popular.
You may not fit into other people’s expectations.
But you will feel at home, authentic, and aligned with what’s right for you.

Learn more at: https://infiniterecoveryproject.com
Get my book on Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/dp/1068323302

29/12/2025

𝗔𝗿𝗲 𝗬𝗼𝘂 𝗶𝗻 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝟭% 𝗪𝗵𝗼’𝘀 𝗔𝗰𝘁𝘂𝗮𝗹𝗹𝘆 𝗟𝗶𝘀𝘁𝗲𝗻𝗶𝗻𝗴?

I’m not teaching psychotherapy
I’m not teaching spiritual bypass
I'm not teaching trauma
And I’m not trying to reframe what you already know

But over and over, the responses I get show just how quickly the mind moves to compare, correct, or convert what’s being said into something familiar, and in doing so, completely misses the point

I've been sharing things that are life changing, if you slowed down enough to read but mostly, you spun past them because of your busy day, it even suggests this in my book at the start "how to get the best out of this book"

𝗪𝗵𝗼 𝗱𝗼 𝗜 𝗺𝗲𝗲𝘁?

𝟭. 𝗧𝗵𝗲 𝘀𝗽𝗶𝗿𝗶𝘁𝘂𝗮𝗹 𝗰𝗿𝗲𝘄
Some people hear a reference to something beyond the mind and immediately assume it’s about awakening, non duality, or consciousness work. They run with it, but what I’m speaking to isn’t about transcending your humanness, it’s not a spiritual identity, it’s not a higher path, that’s just another way the ego sneaks in the back door and calls it freedom

𝟮. 𝗧𝗵𝗲 𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗿𝗮𝗽𝘆 𝘁𝗿𝗮𝗻𝘀𝗹𝗮𝘁𝗼𝗿𝘀
Others try to relate it to psychotherapy, somatic work, or trauma healing. They hear something that sounds familiar, then when it doesn't fit, they either posture to teach me, or attempt to correct my language, as if I’ve misunderstood trauma, but that’s the trap, trying to apply old frameworks to something they haven’t yet heard clearly

𝟯. 𝗧𝗵𝗲 𝘁𝗿𝗮𝘂𝗺𝗮 𝗶𝗻𝗳𝗼𝗿𝗺𝗲𝗱𝗲𝗿𝘀
And then there are those who grab hold of a word or phrase to reinforce their position. Ah, but we need nervous system regulation first… or It’s not safe to speak like that...
Safety is essential, yes, but clinging to language because it validates your lens isn’t the same as listening, it’s defending, not discovering.

What all of this reveals is
No one is listening, not even slightly (ok there are rare occasions, but not many)

They’re filtering
They’re translating
They’re projecting
They’re looking through the lens of what I already know and reshaping everything to fit inside that frame

But to listen, truly listen, is to stop
It’s to be still enough to not know
To hear something new without jumping to relate it back to yourself
It’s to be curious, open, and present in the moment
To not argue for your position before you’ve even understood the message

This is exactly why listening is the first thing we teach in Infinite Recovery training

Because listening, real listening, is the foundation of all healing, If you can’t be fully present with another, if you’re only listening through your own filters or rushing to insert what you know, you’re not serving, you’re protecting yourself

And if you can only ever listen to yourself, how can you truly help someone else?

𝗦𝗼 𝗜’𝗹𝗹 𝗹𝗲𝗮𝘃𝗲 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝘄𝗶𝘁𝗵 𝘁𝗵𝗶𝘀

Are you in the 1%?
The ones who can pause...
Who can see freshly...
Who can hear beyond what they already know...

Because mostly… no one is

28/12/2025

𝗪𝗵𝘆 '𝗪𝗼𝗿𝗸𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗼𝗻 𝗬𝗼𝘂𝗿𝘀𝗲𝗹𝗳 ' 𝗠𝗶𝗴𝗵𝘁 𝗕𝗲 𝗞𝗲𝗲𝗽𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗬𝗼𝘂 𝗦𝘁𝘂𝗰𝗸

The belief that we’re on a journey toward wholeness is one of the deepest illusions in recovery work and therapy

It sounds empowering on the surface..

If I do this deep enough, long enough, I’ll get there..

But there is always imagined, always future-based, and always measured against an internal deficit

𝗧𝗵𝗶𝘀 𝗶𝗹𝗹𝘂𝘀𝗶𝗼𝗻 𝗶𝘀 𝘄𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝗳𝘂𝗲𝗹𝘀 𝗻𝗲𝗮𝗿𝗹𝘆 𝗲𝘃𝗲𝗿𝘆 𝗺𝗼𝗱𝗮𝗹𝗶𝘁𝘆

- If I fix my childhood wounds, I’ll feel whole
- If I shift my self-beliefs, I’ll feel enough.
- If I find the right therapist, technique, trauma lens… then I’ll arrive
- If I could just get more self worth

What if this entire premise is based on an illusion?

What if healing isn’t about fixing anything or becoming whole because wholeness was never missing?

At Infinite Recovery, we’re not mapping a better route to the self

We’re questioning the reality of the self that needs fixing, we’re unravelling the very identity structure that creates the endless need for progress, and the illusion that progress means something about your worth

This is not about bypassing pain, or pretending suffering isn’t real, the nervous system still stores, the body still remembers, but none of that defines you

𝗥𝗲𝗰𝗼𝘃𝗲𝗿𝘆 𝗶𝘀 𝗻𝗼𝘁 𝗮𝗯𝗼𝘂𝘁 𝗯𝘂𝗶𝗹𝗱𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗮 𝘀𝘁𝗿𝗼𝗻𝗴𝗲𝗿 𝘀𝗲𝗹𝗳

It’s about remembering what’s untouched by the suffering

And that remembering isn’t achieved by fixing what’s broken, it’s revealed when the illusion of brokenness loses its grip

Yes, the mind will always dream of being the pilot.

But freedom begins when we realise there's nowhere we need to go

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Next year we will launch our professional trainings, these will lead to work opportunities as IRP grows if you are genuinely curious about transformation, message me with why you would like to be part of it.

27/12/2025

𝗧𝗵𝗲 𝗨𝗻𝘀𝗮𝘁𝗶𝘀𝗳𝗶𝗮𝗯𝗹𝗲 𝗠𝗶𝗻𝗱 & 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗜𝗹𝗹𝘂𝘀𝗶𝗼𝗻 𝗼𝗳 𝗣𝗿𝗼𝗴𝗿𝗲𝘀𝘀 𝗶𝗻 𝗧𝗵𝗲𝗿𝗮𝗽𝘆

“The pilot of a new jet plane was winging over the Catskills and pointed out a pleasant valley to his second in command. ‘See that spot?’ he asked, ‘When I was a barefoot kid, I used to sit in a flat-bottomed rowboat down there, fishing. Every time a plane flew by, I would look up and dream I was piloting it. Now I'm pilot, I look down and dream I am fishing.’”

This is the mind, the same mind that will walk you to therapy and say if I could just overcome this, get there, do that, stop doing this....

Unsatisfied, always chasing the next moment, the next identity, the next thing it believes will complete it, always in the future

This is why healing cannot be psychological. Because the psychological is made of the very movement that creates the problem, the mind trying to heal itself, with it's binary and linear limitations

It does this by endlessly chasing the better version, the healed self, the regulated state, the ideal nervous system, the post-trauma awakening

But as long as you’re in that loop, you are still the pilot dreaming of fishing

You may become more functional, more aware, more self-aware even

But deep down, the seeking continues, and the subtle suffering too, because you haven’t yet seen that you are not the one who needs fixing

Healing doesn’t come from mastering the contents of the mind

It comes from seeing through the illusion that you are the mind

Psychological healing often focuses on rearranging furniture in a house that was never yours to begin with

You get new language, new insights, new labels, but the feeling of incompleteness remains, because you’re still identified with the seeker

Instead of trying to erase the self, we explore what happens when we stop carrying its weight of it

You don’t need to destroy the identity, only to stop believing it’s all of you

You will still have a body, a story, a life. But the compulsive need to fix, improve, or transcend it drops away

So yes, there’s still often deep somatic work to do, because the nervous system holds what the mind can’t resolve. But if that work is done through identity, through getting somewhere, the mind hijacks it again

Real healing is in presence, in the space before the story, the part of you that watches the pilot long for fishing, and the fisherman long for flight, and sees it’s all just movement, never arrival...

Let the mind do what it does, you’re already home, just notice..

walk by the sea
walk in nature
walking your dog
hug a tree
listen to the birds

and it you feel still inside for just a second then you've found it

it's a very different inquiry to question where is peace within me, Vs what's wrong with me and how do I fix it

26/12/2025

Addiction wasn’t about wanting the substance.
It was about relief.

For years, I believed addiction meant craving alcohol or drugs liking them too much or lacking willpower. But when I looked honestly, that wasn’t true. I didn’t wake up wanting the substance. I woke up wanting relief from overwhelming emotions, a body that felt unsafe, and an internal state that was too much to carry.

This is why swapping substances never worked.
This is why stopping didn’t bring peace.
And this is why willpower kept failing.

Addiction is not about the substance it’s about regulating the nervous system.

When the nervous system lives in survival mode, substances become the fastest way to create a temporary sense of safety. Understanding addiction through the lens of the nervous system doesn’t excuse behavior but it removes the lie that you are weak or broken.

And when that lie falls away, real healing finally has somewhere to land.

If you resonate with this message and want a deeper understanding of trauma-informed recovery, explore more resources here:

Learn more at: https://infiniterecoveryproject.com
Get my book on Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/dp/1068323302