16/12/2025
Authenticity is often spoken about as though it is something bold and visible,
expressed through saying exactly what one thinks or making decisive changes.
In therapeutic work,
however,
authentic self-honour tends to show up in much quieter ways,
often emerging slowly and almost imperceptibly over time.
Questions about authenticity frequently arise when someone feels subtly misaligned with their own life.
Things may appear to be functioning well enough on the surface,
yet there is an underlying sense of tiredness, constriction, or distance from the self.
It is not necessarily a feeling of being false, but rather of living in ways that are sensible, expected, or necessary,
while something internal remains unattended.
In this sense, authentic self-honour is not about dramatic self-expression or radical change.
More often, it involves recognising what is true internally and allowing that truth to carry some weight.
For many people, this has not always felt safe or possible.
Early relationships and formative experiences can teach someone,
often implicitly, to prioritise being acceptable,
capable,
or emotionally contained in order to maintain connection.
Over time, this can lead to a quiet form of self-abandonment,
where needs are minimised,
feelings are explained away,
and preferences are overridden by what seems reasonable or kind.
These patterns are rarely conscious choices. They are often adaptive responses,
developed to preserve safety or belonging in environments where certain feelings or needs were not welcomed.
Honouring the authentic self usually begins not with action, but with noticing.
This might involve paying attention to moments of discomfort, resentment, or emotional flatness,
or becoming aware of how often choices are made automatically without checking in internally.
This kind of gentle awareness can, in itself, be reparative when it is approached with curiosity rather than pressure or judgement.
In therapy,
this process is approached with care rather than urgency.
There is no requirement to change everything or to become a more confident or expressive version of oneself.
Instead, the work often involves restoring a respectful relationship with parts of the self that have been muted or overlooked. Authenticity,
in this sense,
develops gradually, through being listened to and taken seriously.
Self-honour also involves recognising limits. It includes acknowledging when something costs too much, even if it appears manageable from the outside.
This allows space for complexity and contradiction,
where a person can be capable and struggling at the same time, or can care deeply about others while still needing something different for themselves.
For many people, the most significant shifts are internal rather than visible.
It may be the first time they trust their own emotional responses,
pause instead of pushing through,
or allow themselves to name something as difficult without immediately explaining it away.
These moments are often small,
yet they can mark the beginning of a different and more respectful relationship with the self.
This writing space exists to reflect on these quieter processes.
Authentic self-honour is rarely about becoming more impressive or certain.
More often,
it is about becoming more present with oneself,
and allowing that presence to gently influence how life is lived.
Our cells renew every single day , the moon rises , the wheel of the year slowly turns towards the light
Allow yourself the honour of personal growth 💚🌿🌱
