20/10/2025
What’s the hardest thing about being Disabled?
For me it’s the inaccessibility closely followed by the pity.
Ohhh the pity! To be a wheelchair user is to know that slow head tilt, followed by a sad lil smile and often an “Awwww it’s such a shame” to finish it off.
Back when I used to use crutches and people would ask me the inevitable “Awwww what have you don’t to yourself?” question. I’d reply very nonchalantly “I’ve not done anything, I’m disabled” and every single time. Every. Single. Time. They’d reply with “Oh I’m so sorry” and I’d then be forced to explain that sure it’s challenging but also my life is brilliant and amazing and all the rest of it. They’d never seem convinced tho 😂
A substitute teacher once overheard my then teen proudly (I know right imagine your teenager being proud of you 😳) talk about how I’d been on the radio. She said to him “Awwww your Mums in a wheelchair that must be so sad” to which he replied “Not at all she’s got a great life” and she replied by double downing on the fact that it’s really sad 🙄 whilst completely ignoring his pride in what I’d done.
Yes being in a wheelchair is challenging, some days I miss being able to walk so much. You know what I miss more tho? My Ma. She rudely died last year and that’s been far more painful, and devastating than not being able to walk ever has.
That’s the thing isn’t it, all lives are challenging. We might become disabled, might lose a loved one. Might get divorced or lose our jobs etc etc.
Strangers don’t know about those challenges tho, I don’t get automatic pity from people because my Mum died because they don’t know. Unfortunately tho my ornamental leg challenges are clear for all to see and then pity is yacked in my face wherever I go 😂
That pity is also so misplaced. Don’t pity me because my legs don’t work (my wheelchair fixes that) have empathy that everywhere is still so inaccessible and people are still so weirdy weirdy around wheelchair users (both things that can be fixed!!).
A non walking life is no less of a life.
Keep your pity in your pants ☺️
Image description: Nina a white middle aged wheelchair user is in a field with the London skyline in the background. She has brown midlength hair with a fringe and pink highlights round her face and she’s wearing a teal leopard print maxi dress, smiling at the camera.
