Lisa Gates

Registered NHS & Private Psychotherapist & Counsellor (UKCP, MBACP & UPCA) Applying Psychology to the Workplace, Cambridge University

FHEQ Level 4.

Specialisms:

Life crises and insecurity of the self, DID and dissociative conditions, historical and developmental trauma, complex grief, death anxiety, social anxiety and general anxiety disorders. Physical health psychology - ME/CFS, Fibromyalgia, Long Covid, Functional Neurological conditions, end of life situations, bereavement and loss.

Other areas: abuse, negative and challenging behaviours, communication, depression, eating disorders, emotions, goals, motivation, self esteem, OCD, phobias, relationships and couples, self harm, shame and self criticism, stress, substance misuse, unhelpful thinking styles. Current Doctoral Research:

Dissociative Identity Disorder, Complex dissociation, De-personalisation, De-realisation, Fragmentation of self, Ontological Insecurity, Existential therapeutic approaches, Phenomenology of therapist/client relationship

Research and clinical supervisors:

Dr Susan Iacovou
Dr Simon Cassar

Qualifications:

MA, Existential Psychotherapy & Counselling, Middlesex University

Postgraduate Dip Existential Psychotherapy & Counselling, Middlesex University

Transactional Analysis (Official TA 101), The Berne Institute

Cert. Philosophy of Mind, Oxford University

Postgraduate Cert.Ed. Further and Adult Education, Clarendon College, Nottingham

BA(Hons) Design including Critical Studies, Nottingham Trent University

Accreditations and Memberships Registered MBACP, UPCA, Society for Existential Analysis (SEA), Oxford Philosophical Society

Consultations in person and online

01/11/2025

The sense of “the self” is mediated by perception, emotion, and memory. Healing and growth happen in small, tangible actions as we acknowledge that the self isn’t a fixed container we can fully grasp. We can only work with what we can observe, i.e things like habits, sensations and thoughts; whilst staying compassionate toward the mystery of the self. Self-knowledge is a practice, not a possession.

Healing trauma means taking small steps to trust in the body and mind through manageable tasks; and starting only where you are right now. Acknowledge the non-linearity and interpretive nature of self-perception.

Think of one tiny step you’ll try today, maybe a boundary you will set, or a moment you can simply observe today.

26/10/2025

Awareness is incredible. Not just because we have a sense of who we are but also what we are not. For example, you are not your emotions. You are not anger or fear. Standing back objectively shows you this. We can’t be something that we are observing. We might say ‘I’m angry’ but we don’t need to identify with this as who we are. Awareness gives us a deeper sense of self. Emotions are real and valuable signals, yet they are not the full story of who we are.

The self includes our values, choices, and the awareness that we are the observer of our experience.

Next time you start to identify with an emotion, name it, notice its duration, and connect it to a value or boundary you hold dear. Transform what is a transitory feeling into meaning.

Imagine a vortex to deepen this understanding. If you were standing outside a vortex’s pull, you might witness emotions swirl around the centre of your awareness. You’re positioned at the edge, not in the swirl, so you can watch without being dragged inward.

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03/09/2025

Here’s an excerpt from an interview with Yahoo UK that I did recently about planning for your death, in light of Davina McCall’s terror at having brain surgery:
“Death is something that touches everyone, whether through our own experience or through the loss of someone we love. Lisa Gates, a BACP-registered therapist specialising in bereavement and complex grief, says confronting mortality can be an important and healthy step.
“Most people live life in a way that is in denial of death until they’re faced with it. It’s a human condition that we go around thinking, ‘Oh, that’s in the future. We don’t have to think about it,’” she tells Yahoo UK.
“But my approach is that actually confronting this gives people a deeper sense of self-awareness. If you confront your mortality, you can create more meaning in your life.”
You can read the full article here: https://uk.style.yahoo.com/davina-mccall-plan-death-family-brain-tumour-185842730.html

13/08/2025

“The time will come when,
with elation
you will greet yourself arriving…
in your own mirror
and each will smile at the others welcome.”

This excerpt of a poem by Derek Walcott made me think about self-acceptance as foundation for celebration.

The moment you truly accept yourself and parts of yourself—flaws, strengths, and all—becomes the moment you can celebrate. The mirror in this poem is a symbol of integration. Gazing at yourself and smiling back is a sign of inner alignment and new confidence.

My tips:

Mirror exercise: Spend a few minutes each day looking in the mirror and naming three things you genuinely appreciate about yourself. End with a smile.

Create a small celebration: Mark a milestone with a ritual—candles, a favorite meal, or a gathering with a trusted circle, expressing gratitude.

Inner-to-outer alignment: Align daily actions with your true self in the mirror (eg, your choices, boundaries, routines) so your external life reflects the inner harmony.

Comment below about how you get on! 🪞😀

Address

The Park Lane Clinic, 1a Leicester Street, LE13 0PP
Melton Mowbray
LE131AE

Website

http://www.lisagates.co.uk/

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MBACP Registered NHS/Private Psychotherapy and Counselling Consultations in person, by telephone and skype

Specialisms: Existential, Psychodynamic and Integrative

Specialisms include existential (life) crisis and ontological (self) insecurity, somatic and dissociative conditions, chronic pain and fatigue, historical and developmental trauma, complex grief, end of life situations, death anxiety, social anxiety and general anxiety disorders.

Other areas: abuse, negative and challenging behaviours, communication, depression, eating disorders, emotions, goals, motivation, self esteem, OCD, phobias, relationships and couples, self harm, shame and self criticism, stress, substance misuse, unhelpful thinking styles.