27/02/2026
Something that doesn't get talked about enough in the trauma and healing field - sometimes making the right choice will feel like danger, threat, discomfort. And that's very different to doing things that are actually dangerous and bad for us, but to our system they can feel the same. It takes practice and paying closer attention to our responses and consequences to learn the discernment of the two, but it's important.
For example, not putting up a boundary that is needed feels right to a person who is not used to setting boundaries, but the consequence is they will feel self-abandonment and probably resentment and anger later on. And putting up a boundary feels wrong and like a threat to our connection with the person or situation, but after doing it we feel like we have honoured ourselves and didn't betray ourselves, and are in a better place situationally as a result.
There are many examples of this from how we speak to our partners or how we show up in our businesses and work. Learning discernment through body awareness in the moment is what helped me to show up better in my life.
