19/05/2022
>>> Long Post>>> but I hope it may help someone out there that isn't on LinkedIn where it was published.
Mental Health is Not a Survival Tool!
If you ever wonder how you would survive if you found yourself marooned on an uninhabited island, or lost in a wilderness somewhere on the planet, you could quickly search the internet and find a shortlist of prioritized vital survival needs… Shelter from the elements, Fire (for warmth, cooking, and boiling water), Water (to boil, in order to drink safely to remain hydrated), and Food to fuel the necessary efforts you will need to take to insure your survival. These are important physical needs.
Most people breathe 15-20 times a minute, and most people would struggle to hold their breath beyond 2 minutes. (Go on then, time yourself ) Urgent Physical need.
Humans can live for approximately 3 days without any source of water. We quickly feel sluggish and fuzzy-minded as dehydration sets in. Urgent Physical need.
Humans can live without any source of food for about 30 days dependent on the environment they find themselves in (In the Cold regions of the Arctic & Antarctic we use many more calories just to stay warm and function), and the activity levels you must engage in to survive, but performance degrades rapidly. The human brain alone requires about 20% of your available daily energy to function. Urgent Physical needs.
So what happens when someone finds themselves lost in the Urban World! In Society?
What happens when they feel lost and isolated in a world of stress, pressure, anxiety, fear of loss of control, low self-image, low self-esteem… and the dreaded effects of social media and “Compare and Despair syndrome… what happens when they check-in with their thoughts, and their mental compass is just spinning in circles of self-critical negative introspection, and negative self-talk, instead of giving a clear and concise positive direction and bearing?
What happens when the numbness, kicks in and energy slumps and the spiral of negativity drags them further and further down the emotional scale into depression?
We “Label” it as a Mental Health Issue.
Ok so, specifically which mental health issue is it? How many mental health issues are there, and which ones should they focus on urgently to prioritize survival?
We prioritize air, water, food, shelter, and fire, to physically survive minutes, days, weeks, and beyond.
What, specifically, do we need to prioritize to survive a mental health issue?
Personally, I dislike the label Mental Health. It is simply an overarching umbrella term that means something different to everyone you speak to. Don’t believe me… Ask 10 people to define Mental Health for you. There will be no specific single definition.
In doing some research recently I found a current scientific research paper in the British Medical Journal (BMJ) quoted as saying the justification for its research as being;
“Objective: Lack of consensus on the definition of mental health has implications for research, policy, and practice. This study aims to start an international, interdisciplinary, and inclusive dialogue to answer the question: What are the core concepts of mental health?
According to the World Health Organization (WHO), mental health is “a state of well-being in which the individual realizes his or her own abilities, can cope with the normal stresses of life, can work productively and fruitfully, and is able to make a contribution to his or her community”
Is there any wonder why this aspect of life can seem so difficult for our friends, family, colleagues, and even ourselves to navigate and survive in?
Mental Health is not a survival tool.
Mental Health is the Environment we find ourselves having to survive in.
The good news is there are only 9 Essential Emotional Needs that are part of our “Human Givens” and we can assess, measure, and score each “Essential Emotional Need” to see if it is ticking a box that says, “Do you know what, that’s good enough for me right now, I’m happy with where I sit currently, and I know that I can improve it moving forwards.”
These Essential Emotional Needs can Not be avoided. How stressed we are, depends on how well our needs are being met, and how we deal with them when they are not.
People will not have a “Mental Health” problem when their innate emotional needs are being met in balanced and healthy ways.
The nine Essential Emotional Needs that we as humans must get met to feel in control of our ability to enjoy our lives and not to feel overwhelmed by life are;
Security – feeling we are in a safe environment enables us to live without undue fear, where we are free to develop fully and have space to grow into our potential.
Autonomy or Control – the freedom to make our own decisions and choices in life, which helps us to feel in charge of ourselves and in control and not overwhelmed by the stressors and pressure in life.
Attention, – receiving attention is nutritious, babies are world-class experts at getting their need for attention met. Without it they couldn’t survive, they would starve. We, also benefit in return from giving attention to others, it is nutritious both ways, when we give praise and appreciate others they feel good, and we feel good.
Intimacy – emotional connection to others. We all have shortcomings , and great qualities, and we need to have at least one relationship where we are accepted ‘warts and all’ unconditionally and nonjudgmentally for who we are and how we show up in the world… through friendship and loving relationships. This need not be the more obvious parents, siblings, partners, or spouses, but may be a grandparent, a teacher, a good friend, a neighbour, or a colleague.
Community – This stems from our evolution through our hunter-gatherer era, and even before that our ancestors would have owed their existence to being part of a primate group. Those who got separated or ostracized were very likely to be eaten by predators or die of starvation. Today we feel the need to be connected to people outside our immediate family, through work, hobbies, sport, geographical, and cultural communities. We have evolved as social group animals because our survival in harsh conditions depended on being part of a collaborative team – traditionally our tribe. We, therefore, have a very ingrained need to belong to a group of some sort.
Status –A sense that we are accepted, valued, and have status within the groups to which we belong (work, family, town, sporting etc); being respected for who we are and what we can do (how we can be useful within the group) by at least some people within our communities. It forms part of our identity.
Achievement & Competence – Genuine confidence, built through competence, gives us the resilience to cope with life’s difficulties. Without a sense of our own competence, our abilities, skills, and knowledge, we may feel inadequate, causing us to lose confidence, and develop low self-esteem, making us withdraw away from our world and into ourselves. Again this will feed into our identity.
Privacy – having the space and time to consolidate our experiences and the ability to reflect on and learn from those experiences. We need to be able to detach ourselves from our frenetic world, so our minds don’t become overloaded with chaos and overwhelmed by too much attention-grabbing information.
Meaning & Purpose – enjoying the feeling that we are being stretched both mentally or physically and feeling a sense of purpose in what we do, within our communities/tribes gives us a powerful sense of being connected to beliefs and ideas that are greater than ourselves.. we feel we are part of a bigger picture. Another powerful part of our sense of identity.
These Nine Essential Emotional Needs are universal, and every human being must get them met in a balanced and healthy way in order to feel well and have the robust mental ability to face the circumstances of life.
Because the circumstances of life will constantly unfold and present themselves to us, good and bad, fair, and unfair, just like the seasons of the year we will always find ourselves having to cope with something, happiness, sadness, joy, disappointment, success, and perceived failure.
But when we know who we are, where we are, where we want to go, and who we want to be, and we have our emotional needs in clear focus, we can quickly correct our course, and see obstacles in advance, and we can navigate confidently in the knowledge we are paying attention to all our essential human needs.
That’s how I help clients regain control of their happiness, build their identity, grow their confidence and competence and be able to have supportive and encouraging conversations that make the difference.
If you ever get to the point where you recognize that You, a loved one, a friend, or a colleague seem like they are struggling to cope and survive in a world where Mental Health Chaos exists, you now have a guide to help navigate it safely. Pay attention to the urgent needs, and the essential emotional needs… everything will look differently very quickly. Let’s change the ‘Mental Health’ label to “Emotional Well Being” because that we can take control over.
As Dr. Wayne Dyer said,
“When you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change!”
