21/02/2026
💜
Not fix it. Not conquer it. Just exist with it. Some days I think I have it handled, and then something small undoes me and I realize I am still very much at the beginning of something I did not choose.
Grief did not come with instructions. No one handed me a guide on how to carry this kind of absence into the grocery store, into work, into family gatherings. I am figuring it out as I go. I am learning what I can sit through and what I need to leave. I am learning that energy is different now, that patience is thinner, that some things simply matter less.
There is something honest about admitting I do not know how to do this well. I am not trying to be brave or inspiring. I am trying to live inside a reality that permanently shifted. That takes time. It takes repetition. It takes falling apart and getting back up without applause.
If you are still learning how to exist with your loss too, that does not mean you are failing. This is not a class you pass. It is something you grow into slowly, unevenly. And even years in, many of us are still adjusting to the weight of it. You are not behind. You are grieving.
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