21/10/2025
Some experiences challenge everything we think we can handle, and yet, within them, we often find unexpected strength, deep connection, and lasting gifts.
Four weeks ago, my father died — at home, just as he wished. He wanted his daughters to carry his coffin. He always told anyone who would listen, “My daughters can do anything any man can.” And above all, he wished for his family to remain united.
Honouring those wishes became one of the hardest and most meaningful experiences of my life. My sisters and I carried Dad home for his wake, into and out of the chapel, up the stairs and into the crematorium - supported by our uncle and cousin.
I had never seen mostly women carry a coffin before. The quiet expectation was that men would take on this role. But we knew what Dad wanted, and we moved forward, step by step, with love, determination and strength. In doing so, we fulfilled his wish and uncovered a deeper truth about ourselves - that we are always capable of so much more than we believed. It was one of the greatest reminders he left me.
In those moments, as I felt the weight of his body I could feel the echo of his faith in us. My sisters beside me, arms linked, holding the weight together, united, dissolving what had gone before. My sons watching on - it was sacred work.
These months have taken me far beyond what I thought I could bear. Fear, exhaustion and grief stripped me back to the rawest parts of myself. And yet, in walking through what felt impossible, I found strength, clarity, and a deep sense of knowing.
My father’s death taught me that the hardest things can become the most meaningful. When we meet death - and life - with our eyes, minds and hearts open, something ancient stirs. Ritual and ceremony help us honour, feel and heal in ways that words alone cannot.
There is pride in having carried him. Pride in standing shoulder to shoulder with my sisters. Pride in knowing my sons saw their mother do something that mattered deeply. And there is peace - knowing that in fulfilling his wishes, we remember our own quiet courage.