VLM Therapy

13/11/2025

It’s been a little while now since Jake and His Shame Armour went out into the world 💛

We’d love to hear how you’ve been using it - in classrooms, therapy sessions, family time, or just moments of reading together.

How have children (and adults) responded to Jake’s story?
Have any conversations or reflections stood out to you?

Your feedback means so much to us, every message helps us understand the impact the book is having and shapes what we create next.

If you can, please share your experiences below, or tag us on social media so we can continue growing the conversation around understanding and naming shame 🛡️

12/11/2025

❓Can you spot a fake video online? AI-generated clips are becoming so realistic they’re almost impossible to distinguish from the real thing. This week’s guide explains the dangers of deepfakes and shares practical tips to help young people stay safe.

Download your FREE copy here >> https://vist.ly/4dxxe

11/11/2025

In classrooms, shame often wears armour.
It looks like anger. Disengagement. Perfectionism.
It can look like humour, defiance, or silence.

But beneath it all is a child trying to feel safe.
When we create a shame-aware classroom — one where mistakes are met with understanding rather than humiliation — we help children hang up their armour.

Connection before correction.
Compassion over compliance.

🔗 If you haven’t already you can buy
Jake and his Shame Armour https://amzn.eu/d/bsTVQJt
The Guidebook https://amzn.eu/d/gge1XCZ

11/11/2025

Really enjoyed this months podcast talking about the importance of professional relationships- bringing the human to our working relationships and building trust through our actions!

Give us a listen and let us know what you think!

NEW PODCAST NOW OUT 🎙️

Podcast 30 - Professional Relationships

In this episode, we explore the power and complexity of professional relationships - how they shape our ability to ask for help, to trust, and to be trusted. We look at the systems we work within, and how they can both nurture and hinder the relationships we need to do our best work.

As always you can connect with us through the following -
Instagram- BMBUltd
Facebook – Better Me Better Us
Email – info@bettermebetterus.co.uk

10/11/2025

Safeguarding in adoption isn’t just about protecting from immediate harm. It’s about interrupting the cycles of trauma, offering regulation, and helping children feel secure enough to begin understanding their experience.

For children who have experienced early loss, neglect, or trauma, their behaviours often carry messages from the past. What looks like defiance, withdrawal, or dysregulation is usually a signal: they are trying to communicate a need for safety, connection, and understanding.

As parents, carers, and professionals, our role isn’t just to respond to behaviour, it’s to notice the patterns, offer containment, and create a space where the child feels safe enough to begin processing what has happened to them.

When we do this, we interrupt the cycles of trauma. We provide regulation. We offer the foundations from which trust, connection, and growth can begin.

08/11/2025

It's so difficult when our kids start pulling away and saying no to family time. But here's why you shouldn't give up, parents. Keep asking!

07/11/2025

I have lots of conversations with clients about the difference between privacy, surprises and secrets. I think it’s really important that not only children and young people are told the difference but that we listen to what are children think and feel.

When working with adoptees, secrets and privacy can sometimes get confused. It’s our job as adults to ensure they know and understand their history is not a secret but they have ownership of who knows their story.

I’m working with a neurodiverse client who does not like or understand surprises. They perceive them as people intentionally lying to them regardless of what it is. In this instance it’s important for the parent to acknowledge this, prepare and discuss upcoming “surprises” like birthday presents, taking away the surprise element which in turn will help the child to have a sense of safety and trust within the relationship.

What is your experience?

07/11/2025

Mattering is more than belonging.

You can belong to a school, a home, even a family and still not feel like you matter there.

This new research from the Center on the Developing Child at Harvard really made me stop and think. It talks about mattering - that deep sense that we’re valued, and that what we do has value. It starts in infancy but continues throughout life.

For children I’ve worked with, especially those who’ve experienced care or trauma, this sense of mattering has often been lost or questioned. They may have belonged to systems, but not always felt seen within them.

Every interaction has the power to rebuild that:
👂 Listening, really listening, when a young person speaks.
🧩 Giving responsibility that shows trust.
💬 Letting them know their absence would be felt.

Those tiny moments say, “You matter. You’re significant.”

And it’s not just about children.
When adults - parents, carers, social workers, teachers feel they matter, they’re more emotionally available to help children believe it too. It’s reciprocal. We can’t pour from an empty cup.

👀 read full research https://developingchild.harvard.edu/resources/working-paper/mattering-in-early-childhood/

Explore how mattering affects children's mental and physical health across their lifespan as well as tips for promoting a sense of mattering.

06/11/2025

What is shame armour and how does it develop?



If you haven’t already you can buy Jake and His Shame Armour 🔗 https://amzn.eu/d/fLedXCt

05/11/2025