04/02/2026
On this day six years ago, I had my last alcoholic drink.
I had reached a breaking point. I knew that if I continued drinking, there would always be another rock bottom waiting for me—and I no longer had the strength to face more chaos, shame, and regret. I was close to losing everything I cared about.
That day, I tried to go to an AA meeting. I got lost on the way and arrived just as the doors were closing. I stood outside, listening to people chatting and finding their seats. I wasn’t brave enough to open the door, so instead I went to a bar and ordered a large glass of red wine… and then another.
I sat there quietly, tears running down my face—heartbroken after weeks of turmoil, frightened of the future, and unable to imagine how I could live without the one thing I had relied on for so long.
In that bar, I prayed. I prayed that those drinks would be the last ones I would ever have. I didn’t fully believe it was possible, but I knew that if I didn’t stop, I would lose everything I loved—including myself.
I’m still praying six years later, but my prayers have changed. They are no longer born of fear and desperation; they are prayers of gratitude, joy, and deep thankfulness that I am alive—truly alive. ♥️
I am learning to forgive myself for what I did when I was unwell, and I finally feel a sense of peace in my heart. The journey hasn’t been easy, especially in the early days, but it is infinitely easier than living on that endless carousel of pain.
This morning, I stood in my garden with the sun on my face, feeling free—full of love and gratitude.
If you are suffering, please know this: you are stronger than you realise. Change is possible. Freedom and happiness are possible. We just have to take that first step, ask for help, and take things one day at a time.
With love and blessings,
Jacqueline
