12/11/2025
10 ways to help a special needs family…
1. Please acknowledge our child. Say hello. Wave. Give a high five. See them. Don’t talk about them in front of them or act like they aren’t listening or in the room.
2. Ask us questions about our child..and not just about their challenges and disability. They are a person too.. with interests, likes and dislikes, just like other kids. Accept all forms of communication. We would be happy to answer them if they can’t.
3. Try to understand and learn about families like ours and our child. Knowledge is power for anyone. Teach your children about differences, disabilities and how to be kind and inclusive by modeling it.
4. Accept our child for who they are. Don’t expect them to mask behaviors, tell them not to stim or to be different. We love our child for who they are. We want you to simply do the same.
5. A break. Respite. Someone who can help with a household task or outdoor work. A person who could pick up something or run an errand. Someone to watch our child so we can manage self care, health and dental care. Be able to take a sibling out. Have a date night. It would be really nice to have a trusted individual as a back up.. We rarely have one and quality care for our child is difficult for us to find.
6. Include us. Don’t be afraid to ask us to join. Ask the entire family. Ask just the siblings. Ask just the parents. Don’t assume we can’t or won’t. Ask. Exclusion and isolation hurts everyone in our family. We would rather you tell us your concerns than everyone be excluded.
7. Listen. We don’t necessarily need you to say anything or offer advice. Most days we just want someone we can talk to and feel like we are being heard. Validating our feelings and just simply saying “I’m here for you” is one of the greatest gifts you can give us.
8. Adapt and accommodate our child’s needs. If we say it’s easier at our house, then please join us where our child is comfortable and familiar. If we come to you, we may have to bring things, come separately, help our child in a hard moment or need to leave early, please understand sometimes coming our way is the difference between going and not being able to come.
9. Don’t judge our child or our parenting. If you don’t live this life you’ll never fully understand and that’s ok. Please know there are multiple perspectives and ways to do something. Many of us have to think outside of the box because we are raising a child in a world that wasn’t made for them. We are in a constant state of balancing our child’s well being and happiness and the world’s ideas of what we all should or shouldn’t be doing.
10. When you make big decisions, think about us. Even if special needs and disabilities haven’t touched your lives, assume they might one day. Whether it’s for schools, medical care, insurance, government assistance, or basic human decency and rights, ask yourself how you would want you or your loved ones to be treated because those choices could affect your future one day.
What would you add?💙💛
