04/01/2022
* Warning: This post is about birth trauma and may trigger some people
The hospital alarm screamed and the doctors and nurses flooded in. My mind went numb and my body was apparently no longer my own. I was prodded at, invaded, and talked about, like I was a science experiment. I felt powerless and scared and invisible. At that moment I feared for my babies life. I feared for my life. It wasn't supposed to be this way....
Tears rolled down my cheeks...
And then I woke up. Sweat pouring down my forehead, my heart pounding, my pulse racing.
This was a regular occurrence since the birth of my little boy 4 months ago. The nightmares shook me to my very core. I could not stop the horrible images from the birth racing through my mind.
The sight of a baby would bring me out in cold sweats, and I couldn't stop crying. I was petrified that something terrible was going to happen to my son so kept us home in a self-imposed prison.
I felt alone, angry, sad, and miserable.
I tried to explain my feelings, but was told I was 'lucky to have a beautiful, healthy baby' and should 'just move on and forget it so I could enjoy this precious time'.
I couldn't. I was stuck in the depths of despair. They didn't understand. But nor did I. I wanted to move on, but didn't know what was wrong with me or where to turn for help.
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If any of this resonates with you, you are not alone and your feelings are 100% real.
Birth trauma affects over 30% of women in the UK. Sadly it is hugely misunderstood and often misdiagnosed as postnatal depression.
A traumatic birth (or postnatal period) can be ANYTHING that happens that YOU feel is traumatic and has left you with negative feelings and emotions. You may be suffering with nightmares, flashbacks, hyper arousal, panic attacks, anxiety, insomnia, crying, or being scared of getting pregnant again.
At Bella Mama our Birth Trauma Recovery Program uses a very safe and effective treatment over 3 sessions to eliminate your symptoms so you can move on with your life. If you would like to find out more about how it works please visit www.bellamamastudio.co.uk/trauma
