12/02/2026
Coercive control isn’t always obvious. It’s often made up of lots of small behaviours that slowly chip away at someone’s confidence, independence and sense of safety.
These behaviours can build up over time, leaving someone feeling trapped, confused, or like they’re “overreacting”.
Here are some subtle signs that, together, can form a pattern of coercive control:
🔸 Monitoring what you do – Checking your phone, messages, social media or whereabouts.
🔸 Isolating you – Making it difficult for you to see friends, family or colleagues.
🔸 Controlling your finances – Limiting access to money, questioning spending, or taking full control of accounts.
🔸 Criticism that chips away – “Jokes” or remarks that make you feel small, guilty or dependent.
🔸 Gaslighting – Making you doubt your memory, version of events, or even your sanity.
🔸 Creating fear without violence – Slamming doors, unpredictable anger, threats, or intimidation.
🔸 Setting rules you never agreed to – What you wear, where you go, who you speak to.
Individually, these things might seem minor.
Together, they create an environment where someone feels powerless.
You don’t have to wait for things to “get worse” before reaching out for support.
At Voice Northants, we listen without judgement and offer confidential support whether you’re currently experiencing coercive control, worried about a friend, or trying to make sense of your own relationship.
You’re not alone, and you deserve to feel safe.
📞 Contact us: 0300 303 1965
🌐 Visit: voicenorthants.org
If something doesn’t feel right, it’s okay to ask for help.
We’re here. We’ll listen. We’ll support you.
