MJB Counselling

07/11/2025

Fawn is the art of keeping the peace, people-pleasing, apologizing too much, and smoothing things over. If this feels like your default, it’s not because you’re weak. It’s because you learned that keeping the peace was essential to survive.
Healing is about teaching your nervous system that it doesn’t have to be on guard anymore.

06/11/2025

01/11/2025

I hope everyone has been getting outside, especially in woodlands to enjoy the wonderful autumn scenery we are having this year.

Connect with nature's rhythm to calm your nervous system.

29/10/2025

If you’re always “on edge,” there’s a reason.
Hypervigilance isn’t anxiety without cause. It’s your body saying, “We’ve seen this before.”
It’s instinct, not imagination, and definitely not overthinking.
You can’t shame yourself into calm, but you can slowly rebuild trust in safety.

27/10/2025

The Sentient Wisdom of Horses

Sometimes, when I’m with horses, I’m struck by their quiet, ancient wisdom—a sense of presence that is both calming and awe-inspiring. Horses see and feel the world in ways we, as humans, often cannot fathom. They listen not just with their ears, but with their whole being: every twitch of an ear, every shift in their breath, every softening of an eye is part of their profound way of connecting with life.

Over time, I’ve come to recognize that horses are not simply animals living alongside us, but unique sentient beings with their own thoughts, feelings, and perspectives. When we allow ourselves to slow down and truly observe them, we realize that horses have much to teach us about awareness, authenticity, and humility. Their sensitivity is a guiding light—a reminder of how much subtlety and richness exists within every moment.

I often notice how a horse can sense my mood before I even realize it myself. If I’m anxious, they may become unsettled. If I approach with calm and openness, they mirror it back and become a safe space for me. This ability to reflect our inner state back to us isn’t merely instinct—it is a gift, an invitation to drop our masks and be present in the moment.

Being with horses has taught me to listen more carefully, not just to them, but to myself and the world around me. They show us that communication is far more than words—it’s energy, intention, and the unspoken language of trust and respect. Through their patience, horses invite us to slow down, breathe, and truly see each other—not for what we can accomplish, but for who we are.

In a world that so often values speed, efficiency, and results, horses remind me daily of the beauty in simply being. They help me reconnect with my own senses and remind me that wisdom isn’t always loud or obvious; sometimes, it’s a gentle nudge, a soft exhale, or a peaceful silence shared between two beings.

Walking the path with horses is an endless education in wonder and humility. I believe that when we honor them as sentient beings, we open ourselves to an entirely new way of living—one grounded in respect, empathy, and a deeper understanding of the interconnected world we’re all a part of.

Learn more at https://stormymay.com

21/10/2025

When we feel overwhelmed, our nervous system goes into survival mode: fight, flight, freeze, or fawn.

In those states, your brain’s first priority is safety, not self-care. So you disconnect from feelings that feel “too much.”

That’s why stress can trigger old patterns, the little one inside of you who learned that being yourself wasn’t safe starts running the show again.

Self-abandonment is a survival strategy ... but it’s not a sustainable one.
Over time, it leaves you feeling numb, resentful, anxious, or detached from who you really are.

You can start by noticing “I’m overwhelmed right now. What part of me is trying to disappear?”

Then, gently ask yourself:

• What do I need in this moment?
• What does my body need to feel safe again?
• What would it look like to stay with myself instead of abandoning me?

Sometimes, self-reconnection takes support.
Working with a trauma-informed or IFS-trained therapist can help you uncover the parts of you that learned to leave yourself behind, and teach you how to love those parts back home.

You don’t have to carry stress and overwhelm alone.
You can learn to stay with yourself, even in the hard moments.

24/09/2025

Times are tough right now, and it's okay to not be okay. If you're struggling, you're not alone - support is available. Please reach out, talk to someone, and take care of your mental health.

To access Norfolk and Waveney Mind services, call 0300 330 5488 or email rictriage@norfolkandwaveneymind.org.uk

23/09/2025

Criticism says, “You should know better. You need to be set straight, and I know what the right answer is. I don’t trust your intentions. You are the problem here and I’m here to tell you how to fix it.”

Criticism lacks self-awareness.
It doesn’t recognize that our reaction to someone else’s behavior is bringing up a feeling inside of us. That that feeling could be related to a deeper unmet need, a triggering past experience, or just a difference in value sets or beliefs.

Criticism doesn’t take responsibility for our feelings or perspective. It doesn’t leave room for curiosity.
It puts the problem solely on the recipient of the criticism.
It becomes flat, one-dimensional, and doesn’t allow for complexity, nuance, learning, or deeper connection & growth to occur.
It’s reactive instead of responsive.

It’s protective. And we often criticize because we have big feelings but never learned that it was okay to acknowledge and take responsibility for them, and to share those needs and feelings with other people in a way that didn’t threaten the connection between us.

Up front, it feels safer to criticize. It feels simpler. It’s less vulnerable, and *seems* like less work.

But criticism leaves a lot of important things unsaid and unacknowledged, and stops us from looking at our role in our own discomfort or frustration. It doesn’t actually ever get to the root of the problem.

We have to begin to ask ourselves,
What does this bring up for me?
What am I really needing?
Did it start here, or is this a much older pattern?

Then, if needed, we can step into a different type of conversation. One that takes responsibility for our part in this frustrating dynamic. And that’s how we begin to break the cycle of criticism and learn how to begin walking toward deeper levels of intimacy and closeness in our relationships.

In the Relationship Workshop beginning Oct 23, we deep dive into conflict - what it is, how it feels, how we show up, and how to start to navigate it with more honesty, integrity, and safety.
This is the last workshop of 2025!
https://theeqschool.co/relationship-management-workshop