18/12/2023
Bit of a waffley one but I felt an update was timely 👌
2023..
Not a year I ever could have expected! I've been tested. I can't say at times I always felt completely up to the challenges. An accident one normal Sunday morning that I'm incredibly fortunate to say wasn't life changing on an obvious level, changed my life entirely on so many more. I broke my neck, and the fractured vertebrae was lying unstable and close to my spinal cord. I also sustained a head injury, needing 21 stitches in my scalp (yep, sewed up through ALLL that hair!). Following the accident, I had a 6 hour surgery to avoid otherwise certain spinal collapse and paralysis from the neck down. This involved moving my windpipe and voice box across to totally remove the broken vertebral body of my neck, replacing the gap with a cage of bone graft and pinning the remaining vertebrae in my neck together🔩...basically.!
Stopping focusing on the whats gone wrong and truly celebrating what went right shows that although it's been a hiccup of a year, it's also been one of chance, courage and certainly change.
Coming around from a high risk surgery- I survived! I was alive! I could see, feel and move! Some things I was told I possibly might not. I know and appreciate my good fortune..on a daily basis. I was given an opportunity- a chance to start again. It felt like a miracle💫. Life seems a bit sweeter.. So few with this type of injury are ever granted this. HOW LUCKY AM I!!?
Having said that, this has taken work. Untold time has been needed to process, accept and sit in often crippling moments of sadness for what felt like a lost previous life, independence, missed opportunities, changed plans, dashed hopes and dreams, frustration, anger and worry for the future. Certain conversations with medical professionals proved very hard for me to hear. The colossal impacts on my family, business, career and finances... Then the months of physical rehabilitation to push through pain, ache, exhaustion and weakness while wearing an uncomfortable neck brace. There are no glossy "Rocky" style montages here, documenting the "journey" from hospital bed, taking the first few, post op wobbly Bambi walk steps down hospital corridors complete with surgical stockings and backless gown, through to a lycra clad me in the gym here and I'm more likely to have chased a bloody pheasant than a chicken🙄, but I've been there and done it-I've put the hours in trying to get strong again.
Life is a gift and there is always something to be thankful for. I have so many "thanks" to give. Several months of appreciation for a multitude of people is amongst one of my biggest gratitudes. Often it takes something so impactful to truly realise just who those are🙏.. To the ones who unquestionably stepped up, stepped in, reached out and checked in... and continued to do so as days turned to weeks...then into several long months, and it was during these really gritty, unglamorous and mentally hard times of recovery as everyone else's life moves on around you, that this really was needed the most. I can't thank those true friends, I could call family and also clients who I can call friends, enough for the physical help, the visits, texts, cards, flowers, calls, messages and overall support. I'm genuinely indebted to many for almost unexpectedly being there for me 💞. Moreover, a heartfelt apology to my very nearest and dearest family. I recognise the impact this has also had on you the last few months as you also endured the changes, disappointments and frustrations first hand with me...even more so in needing SO much help to raise a very busy, wilful and adventurous toddler. The timing of such an injury and age of rearing a nipper is never ideal, but there couldn't have been much worse of a phase as during "the terrible 2's"!🥴
Another year over and another new one about to begin. I hadn't imagined last December of posting anything other than a jolly "Merry Christmas!!", this year🎄.
2023 marked my 10th year, qualified and working my dream career as an equine therapist and 8th year as a human practitioner. A vocation I unequivocally love and worked extremely hard for.
8 months in now. Recovery is taking longer than the impatient me anticipated...and continues. "Growing" a new neck🦴 takes time it seems! Once the surgeon gives the 👍, I hope to be able to drive again and continue to build strength which will begin to give me some light and freedom at the end of a long, dark tunnel. Professionally, I thank those who have remained understanding and continued to support me through this.
"Strength does not come from what you can do. It comes from overcoming something you never thought you could". Hardships allow for learning and growth, and in healing, we're shown a new direction and altered way of thinking and being. These challenges certainly change you forever.
After all..comebacks are stronger than setbacks. Good times are yet to be had... and I've still stuff to get done..💪💫!
Come on 2024, let's have you 😉🍾🥂 .
El x
