20/09/2025
We have s*x regularly, never fight, and look perfect on paper – so why do I feel more alone in my marriage than I did when I was single?
If this resonates, you’re not broken – you’re just avoiding the conversations that create real intimacy.
When couples never fight, it usually means they’re not fighting FOR their relationship either. They’re staying safe, staying surface-level, and slowly becoming strangers who share a mortgage.
Here are 5 questions to help you understand what’s really happening:
1. What topics do we unconsciously steer away from, and what am I afraid would happen if we actually went there?
The avoidance itself creates more distance than the actual conversation ever could.
2. When I feel upset or disappointed with my partner, what story do I tell myself about why I shouldn’t bring it up?
“They’re too sensitive” or “it’s not worth it” are stories that keep you emotionally isolated.
3. What would my relationship look like if we could disagree openly and still feel completely secure in our love for each other?
Healthy conflict isn’t the enemy – emotional suppression is.
4. What parts of myself do I hide or minimize to keep things ‘smooth,’ and how is this affecting my sense of authenticity in the relationship?
You can’t feel connected when you’re not being yourself.
5. If I knew my partner could handle my full emotional range without withdrawing or attacking, what would I want them to know about my inner world?
Real intimacy happens when we’re brave enough to be fully known.
Your “peaceful” relationship doesn’t have to feel empty. There’s a difference between harmony and avoidance – and learning that difference changes everything.
If you want to learn the tools to stop feeling alone in your relationship and start building the deep, authentic connection you’re craving, I work with couples who explore these exact questions in therapy. I have therapy spaces available. Details in bio / DM ‘THERAPY’ for more.
